Choosing adoption for your baby isn’t easy. So choosing adoption for your twins must be doubly difficult. If you’re like many mothers, there’s one thing at the front of your mind when thinking about adoption: I want my twins to stay together.
We’re here today to give you good news. Modern-day adoption puts the birth mother in charge of the process. That means, among other things, that if you want your babies to stay together, they’ll stay together.
You may have fears about how adoption will go, which is totally normal. What we’ve discovered over the years is that most fears are rooted in myths and common cultural misunderstandings. Take the adoption of twins, for instance. How many movies involve twins separated at birth and unknowingly meeting later in life? It’s a lot. But it’s not how things happen.
As a woman experiencing unplanned pregnancy, we want you to feel secure and confident in your adoption plan. So, here’s how adoption works today, and why you don’t need to be afraid that your babies will be split up when you place twins for adoption.
How Adoption Has Changed — Putting the Mother in Charge
Modern-day adoption and adoption from several decades ago are almost completely contrasting processes.
Here’s what adoption used to be associated with: secrecy, shame, failure and powerlessness.
Here’s what adoption means now: love, empowerment, opportunity and life.
This shift has occurred within the last few decades. While we have a long way to go, we’ve also seen great progress. Back in the ‘50s, ‘60s and ‘70s, adoption was a shameful and secretive act. This was partially due to America’s sexual ethic at the time — an unplanned pregnancy, especially outside of marriage, was viewed as a horrible mistake. It also had to do with the orphanage system, which governed adoption. When you chose adoption, you were giving up all control. Almost all adoptions were closed, and the birth mother was given no say in what happened to her baby.
Things are completely different today. Adoption is a brave act. It comes from a place of love. A woman choosing adoption does not need to feel ashamed of her choice. She’s doing something to give her baby and herself a chance at life. Additionally, she is in control of the adoption process. Gone are the days of leaving your baby with an institution and being cut out of the process. Today, the birth mother creates her adoption plan from start to finish, including choosing the adoptive parents she thinks will be best for her baby.
Because of this, you can place twins for adoption with the confidence that they will always have each other.
Choosing the Perfect Adoptive Family for Both of Your Babies
You get to choose the adoptive parents for your twins. You’ll do this with the help of an adoption professional by looking at many different adoptive family profiles.
When you first choose adoption, you’ll create an adoption plan. In that plan, you’ll decide on several things, such as:
- The level of openness you want in your adoption
- That you want your twins to be adopted by the same family
- How you would like the hospital stay to go
- And more
Then, your adoption specialist will find adoptive family profiles who match what you laid out in the adoption plan. You’ll only be shown families interested in the same level of openness and who want to adopt both of your babies. This allows you to focus on the deeper matters at hand, like if you think the parents are going to raise your children to become the bets versions of themselves.
You can feel confident that your twins will stay together because you get to choose the adoptive family.
The Importance of Maintaining Sibling Groups
Back in the days when adoption was secretive and shameful, splitting up siblings may have been common. Like most things during that time, this was harmful to everyone involved in adoption, especially the children. A growing body of research has undeniably showed that keeping siblings together is a good thing.
Staying connected with a sibling can help a child feel safe. As they grow and begin to form identities, having a healthy connection to a biological sibling can help a child form a sense of belonging. Additionally, the presence of a sibling can help a child feel connected to their biological family’s history. These are all good things and will be important as your children grow.
Adoption professionals understand the importance of sibling groups. Not only are you able to keep your twins together, you will be encouraged to do so. Your adoption professional will never separate your twins when placing them for adoption. Instead, they will help you find the perfect family to adopt your babies.
How to Create an Adoption Plan for Twins
Adoption can be a complex and confusing process, but you don’t do it on your own. To create an adoption plan for your twins, contact an adoption professional today to learn more about this process. Your professional will guide you through each step, offering your support and encouragement. With the help of an adoption agency, you can be sure that your twins will stay together in adoption and that you will receive the best service possible.
To receive more helpful information about adoption, please don’t hesitate to contact us.