Categories
News

What the Movie “Lion” Teaches Us About Adoption

If you’re going to see the recently released movie “Lion,” expect to shed a tear or two. If you’re someone whose life has been affected by adoption, prepare for an emotional rollercoaster that may hit very close to home.
Based on the true story of Saroo Brierley, “Lion” follows a 5-year-old Indian boy who finds himself thousands of miles from his home and family after mistakenly boarding and being trapped on a train for days. Eventually adopted by an Australian couple, Saroo decides to search for his birth family and home 25 years later — using only Google Earth and a few distant memories.It’s an emotional tale for anyone watching, but it also teaches several lessons about adoption and the affects it can have on those involved:

The Challenges of International Adoption

After living in a Bengali orphanage, Saroo is adopted by an Australian couple and brought to their home in Tasmania. Not only does Saroo have to adjust to a completely different country but, at the time of his adoption, he speaks little English and has little comprehension of the type of life and culture that his adoptive parents have.It takes unending patience from his adoptive parents, including his mother (played by real-life adoptive mother Nicole Kidman) for him to adjust to his new home, language and culture. However, what highlights the challenges of international adoption even clearer is the couple’s adoption of another Bengali orphan, Mantosh.
Unlike Saroo, Mantosh encounters harrowing emotional issues with his adoption and adjusting to his new adoptive family. In a montage of scenes, the film shows the Brierleys attempting to calm down Mantosh, who reverts to hitting himself in times of stress and anxiety, and the emotional toll it takes on Sue Brierley, who copes with feelings of inadequacy as a mother. The language barrier between parents and child only makes it more challenging.
It’s an honest portrayal of how difficult international adoption can be, especially as an adoptive child and adoptive parents adjust to their new lives together.

How Adoptive Parents Can Support their Adopted Children

As Saroo grows older, he thinks more and more about the family that he left behind in India — wondering if they’re still there and waiting for him to return. The unanswered questions he has begin to consume his life as he tries to track down his origins, but he hides his search from his mother, afraid he will hurt her feelings by admitting what he is doing.After his search begins to distance him from his mother, however, he tells her about his plan — and is surprised at the way his mother reacts. She understands his questions and, when he tells her he’s planning on returning to India to look for his birth mother, she says, “I hope you find her.”
The lessons from this scene can apply to anyone affected by adoption, whether it’s international or domestic. It’s normal for adopted children to wonder about their parents, their heritage and where they came from — and it’s important for adoptive parents to understand that this curiosity isn’t a reflection upon their own parenting ability. The best thing you can do for an adopted child wondering about their birth parents is to support them in their search (which is why an open adoption can help with any unanswered questions an adopted child has).

How Adopted Children Feel About their Birth Parents

Even though Saroo searches for his birth mother and eventually finds her, it doesn’t affect his relationship with his adoptive mother at all. In fact, it even strengthens it.
After reconnecting with his birth mother, he calls up his adoptive mother to remind her that nothing has changed. She’s still his mother, and he still loves her just as much as he did before he found his birth family. Seeing his birth mother again just gives him the chance to make sense of his childhood story, show his appreciation for her love for him and rediscover an important part of his cultural heritage.

Whether you’re an adoptive parent or an adopted child, you probably know that post-adoption issues are more common than others may think. Seeing them represented onscreen is not only a great way to validate them, but they’re a great conversation starter for discussing adoption with those who are unfamiliar.
Overall, “Lion” is a wonderful story about international adoption, discovering who you are and the love between parents and children. For anyone affected by or interested in adoption, it’s a must-see.
“Lion” is playing in limited theaters and rated PG-13. You can find Saroo’s memoir, “A Long Way Home,” here.

Categories
Thoughts from a Birth Mother

The Emotional Stages of Visiting My Son – Thoughts from a Birth Mother

I have had to set up personal boundaries when it comes to visiting my son. While these visits are about us getting to spend quality, positive time together, that doesn’t mean that it is without emotion. Leading up to deciding that it is time for a visit, I become lonely. I start to ache in curiosity as to what his little smile looks like in person, and what he is feeling in terms of confidence and security. I worry about the same things that other mothers worry about. I know it’s time for a visit when I start to crave kissing his cute little cheeks and need some moments with him.

Always Ask

I always ask if I can schedule a visit with his parents. We work out schedules. Even if it’s months ahead of time, I have learned that having a visit scheduled is something that brings me great joy. I find peace in knowing that very soon, I will lay my eyes upon his countenance.
When I visit him, I get lost in the moment. I find myself wrapped up in the present, the experience, and the love that I have for him.  I do not dwell on what was, what could have been, what will be, or anything else. I just enjoy my son.

Knowing My Boundaries

After a few hours, I usually know when I’m done visiting. It’s odd, but I’ll start to feel sad that I’m not the one who is taking him home. I begin to feel a heaviness and want to cry. That is the moment that I know it is time to set up a personal boundary for myself. It’s important that we take care of ourselves as birth mothers. If we want a three-hour visit, but can only handle one hour, there is nothing wrong with that.
My time with my son is precious. My son’s parents appreciate that I know my own boundaries, and not only respect myself enough to establish them, but keep them as well. After all, it is a sign of respect to trust yourself and listen to your heart when it is speaking to you.

Joy in Reflection

emotions-during-visists-with-my-child-picture
Lindsay Rambo Vertical

On the car ride home, I don’t call anyone or listen to music for a while. I usually just sit and revel in the joy and peace that I feel after knowing that my son is happy. That is what gives me peace: knowing that my son is healthy and happy. I do not live in my sadness, but I do allow the feelings to come and go within reason.
Visiting with your child should be joyful, and as time goes on, the relationship will ebb and flow. While some visits may feel sad, reflect on what was good. Cherish those moments because children grow up too fast to be stuck in what happened a year ago. Be grateful for your relationship with your child, embrace it, respect it, and let the joy consume you when it comes. Allow yourself to feel happiness. Don’t fight peace and stay in brokenness. Walking a journey of healing means allowing happiness to come into your life, and choosing to focus on that.
~Lindsay Arielle
Lindsay is a guest blogger for Considering Adoption. She placed her son for adoption 7 years ago and hopes to use her experience to support and educate other expectant mothers considering adoption, as well as adoptive families.

Categories
Adoptive Family

Adoption-Friendly States and Their Procedures

When couples are looking to expand their family, adoption is a giving and beautiful option. But many couples have secreted fears about adoption. Their concerns can range from the uncertainty of finding the right birth mother, to hidden medical issues, to the ever-looming possibility that a biological parent could change their mind before the adoption is finalized. In addition to the practical and emotional concerns, new parents may also be leery of the process of adoption.
Initially it is important for couples to understand the basic process of adopting a child:

Most state laws and regulations are designed to facilitate a smooth and easy transition for the successful placement of children in need of homes. However, each state’s regulations do vary. Some states require more scrutiny of the adoptive parents than others. Other states give the birth mother and/or father more time to change their mind prior to the adoption becoming final.
For example, some of the friendliest adoptive states seem to be:

Some of the less adoption-friendly states include California, Maine, Maryland, Ohio and Rhode Island.  However, it is absolutely still possible to adopt in these states, and there are many local and national adoption professionals who can assist families in navigating the process and their state’s laws.
The state of New York falls somewhere in the mid-range. In New York, consent is required of both biological parents regardless of whether the child is born in or out of wedlock. The father’s consent is particularly dependent upon the amount of time the father lived with the child, his level of involvement and care of the child and his financial contribution to the child’s welfare.
It is highly advised that each couple take the time to thoroughly familiarize themselves with the particular rules and regulations of the state in which they will adopt their new child. In addition, it is important for all couples considering adoption to surround themselves with knowledgeable professionals to guide and assist them through the process.
In the event that you find yourself facing any of these questions, please do not hesitate to contact Zurica Law at 917-538-3670.  We will be happy to assist you in answering your questions and representing your interests.

***

Anthony Zurica is an Attorney specializing in Adoption Law and a guest writer for Considering Adoption. Based in New York City, Anthony stands by his clients as an ally and friend during the entire process of adoption, from application to successfully becoming a parent.  Although adoption can be an emotional and oftentimes lengthy process, Anthony is committed to being there every step of the way, 24/7.
Dedicating his life to inspiring optimism and encouraging patience, Anthony works closely with individuals and families. Furthermore, Anthony is a proponent and advocate for LGBT families.
Anthony also volunteers as a CASA (court-appointed special advocate for children), and is on the junior board of the New York Foundling, a charity that that empowers thousands of children and families to live independent, stable and fulfilling lives throughout NY. Find out more and feel free to get in touch through his website, www.nycadoptionlawyer.com, Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn.

Categories
Thoughts from a Birth Mother

My Journey from Parenting to Adoption – Thoughts from a Birth Mother

I Remember – Seeds Were Planted

I remember bringing up the option of adoption to the birth father when I was about three months pregnant. He didn’t say a word. We were taking an evening walk, the atmosphere was tense, and I asked him what he thought about adoption. He had no comment. He literally didn’t look at me, say a word, or even acknowledge that I had asked the question. The relationship with my son’s birth father was very toxic, and he had made many bad choices over the short course of our relationship. I couldn’t imagine parenting with him.
I walked into an adoption agency with my mom when I was about seven months pregnant. I was in denial about my reality to such an extent that I barely recall this memory. In fact, she is the one who reminded me a few years later about going with her. She wanted me to know that I had options. She wasn’t trying to force me into anything, and didn’t want anyone else to either. My mom just wanted me to know that I had options.
I hadn’t had much experience or education on adoption. A girl that I went to school with was adopted. I remember that she seemed very confident, which I had assumed was because her parents loved her so much. I had some family friends who chose to adopt two of their children. My friends parented these children without ever behaving as if they weren’t their own. Those children were their children.

Perhaps…

There were many seeds that were planted in my mind regarding adoption throughout my life. Although I knew little about it, I had seen it from afar working for families that seemed much healthier than the dynamics that I grew up in. If those families could raise healthy children regardless of blood relation, then could adoption be an option for me and my son?
Little did I know, within those times I remember, that adoption would become something close to my heart. I could never have imagined that I would make such a courageous choice to give such a gift to my son that would provide him with an amazing life. I can now say that adoption is always an option, and sitting on the fence is a normal part of the decision-making process when it comes to adoption. If you are on the fence about adoption, it’s okay. It’s normal. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself and keep in mind that this may be the most difficult decision you ever make. Yet, it may be the best decision that you could ever make.

Parenting

Parenting was incredibly challenging for me. I was in a situation with almost no support. Once I found full-time employment, I was at work and away from my son for about 12 hours every day. By the time I paid the sitter and made it through my baby expenses, I had about $100 left for the week. I was living with friends at the time. These friends ended up abandoning me when I chose adoption, but I’m grateful for the opportunity that they gave me to raise my son for the six months that I had him.
My son would wake up every night every two hours. He had a very hard time sleeping through the night. There was no one else to wake up with him during this nightly routine, and I was beyond exhausted for work the next morning. There were so many other complicated situations and dynamics going on within that period, and I don’t want to bore you with the details. To sum up: I was working full-time, had almost no support, and I believe now that I had post-partum depression on top of trying to cope with the depression I had struggled with since my adolescence.

Acceptance and Decision

I was finally able to pull myself out of denial and start facing the reality that adoption was the best option for my child and I. I fought hard to be a full-time, single parent. I did absolutely everything I could for my child. I was breastfeeding, managing full-time work, and spending time bonding with my child. By the end of our six months together, I was spent. When I wrapped my mind around the idea that adoption was the best choice, I felt a sense of relief come upon me.
It wasn’t until I met his parents that I felt peace about my decision. Choosing adoption is one thing, but for me, that real peace came when I knew where he was going to be raised and who was going to raise him.

No Regrets

Lindsay Rambo Vertical

To this day, I have no regrets about my decision. There is a difference between experiencing regret on a consistent basis and experiencing pain while walking a path of healing. Just because some days involve painful emotions, doesn’t mean that I regret my decision. Pain is, unfortunately, a part of life in this world.
Seeds may be planted, but it’s up to you to grow them. Adoption is a choice. There are few choices in life that do not come with a need for acceptance and reality checks. This is just another one. When this decision is right, I am sure you will be convicted in your heart, and the well-being of your child is what will bring you strength in your darkest hour.
~Lindsay Arielle
Lindsay is a guest blogger for Considering Adoption. She placed her son for adoption 7 years ago and hopes to use her experience to support and educate other expectant mothers considering adoption, as well as adoptive families.

Categories
Thoughts from a Birth Mother

How I Interact with My Son through Open Adoption – Thoughts from a Birth Mother

I love visiting my son. I love talking to my son. I believe that communication is crucial to have a healthy relationship with my son, or in any relationship for that matter. My hope, and my experience, is that as my son grows up, he knows how much I love him.

how-i-interact-with-my-child-pictureHe’s Just a Kid

When I visit my son or talk to him, we talk about things that kids like to talk about. We talk about his favorite activities, what his holidays were like, and positive things he has going on in his life. My son is experiencing a normal childhood. He has great manners, respects his parents, and enjoys talking to anyone who will listen. It doesn’t surprise me that he is outgoing. I tell him how much I love and how proud I am of him.

An Attitude to Avoid

What we don’t talk about: anything that is the responsibility of his parents to talk to him about. It’s not my job to discipline him, make sure he is eating his vegetables, or monitor his grades. My role is to be another mama, who loves him for who he is and where he is. I respect my son by respecting our boundaries. My son knows that I am a mama, but is not old enough to truly understand what that means.
He is too young to comprehend the adoption situation, but when he is ready to start asking questions, his parents will answer them. If they need anything from me in terms of this discovery, I will be there for them.

My Relationship Resembles an Aunt…

Here is the key to my relationship with my son: I’m more like an aunt than a mom. I don’t treat him as if I am his custodial parent. I treat him as if he is another child in my life. He is just a normal little boy who wants to talk about little boy things and do little boy activities. He is incredibly intelligent, and I am ever so proud of him. I am sure to tell him that. I build him up, I encourage him, and I ask him questions about his life.

Communicating with Mom

If there is a heavy topic that I have questions about, then I speak to his mom about it. In fact, I had a conversation with her a few months ago asking how he was doing emotionally. She told me that he is just like any other little boy. There are times when he doesn’t listen, or is disrespectful, but they have raised him to be disciplined and to apologize. For the most part, he is incredibly well-mannered, he has exceptional grades, and plays with many other neighborhood children.

What Will the Future Hold?

Lindsay Rambo Vertical

I have no idea what the future for my son will be like, and how our relationship will evolve, but I know that it will. For example, when he was a baby, there was no talking when I saw him. I visited more frequently than I do now. I would hold him and kiss him and love on him. I do that now, but as any other growing boy would like to interact.
It’s all about being age appropriate and being respectful. Remember, if you are not the custodial parent, then do not behave as if you are the custodial parent. Have fun with the time you have with your child, and spend it doing age appropriate activities and discussing age appropriate topics. But most importantly, enjoy the time you do get to spend together.
~Lindsay Arielle
Lindsay is a guest blogger for Considering Adoption. She placed her son for adoption 7 years ago and hopes to use her experience to support and educate other expectant mothers considering adoption, as well as adoptive families.

Categories
Adoptive Family Birth Parent

Is it Possible to Reverse an Adoption?

An adoption is considered legally binding and final once the agreement has been signed by all of the parties. The signed adoption document terminates the biological parent’s rights. Once the adoption is legally completed it cannot be reversed.
The termination of parental rights is a binding decision. Because of the severe nature of the decision to terminate parental rights, every state provides significant precautions to ensure the birth parents’ rights are fully protected. These safeguards can include counseling for the biological parents and the adoptive parents, a thorough investigation into the medical, professional and personal backgrounds of the parties involved and an effort to ensure that both biological parents have been contacted and informed of the pending adoption.
While it is extremely unusual for an adoption to be overturned, there are some exceptions to the rule. An adoption procedure can be terminated or reversed under limited circumstances. The termination of an adoption procedure can occur when either biological parent withdraws their consent to the adoption prior to the signing of the final adoption agreement. Each state’s time limitation for revoking consent varies. If either of the biological parents revokes their consent within the time allotted by their jurisdiction, the adoption is halted and their parental rights are not terminated.
An attempt to reverse an adoption can be made by the primary parties, including the biological parents, the adoptive parents, or the adopted child. In the case of the biological parents requesting the return of the child, it may be possible if the adoptive parents agree. The adoptive parents can also request the adoption be reversed if they can show that such reversal would be in the best interest of the child. Finally, the adopted child can also request to be returned to the biological parents. However, in this scenario the child is usually older and able to speak for themselves in a court of law.
While there are many issues that can be taken into consideration for the reversal of an adoption, the court will always apply the best interest of the child standard to any and all reasons as to why a legal adoption should be revoked.
In New York State, if the court has taken away the biological parent’s rights, and the parents wait too long to request that their rights be reinstated, the adoption cannot be overturned.  If the biological parent appears in court and agrees to the adoption, they cannot regain their parental rights. However, if the birth parent signs a surrender agreement, they do have 45 days upon which to change their mind and retain custody of their biological child.
To learn more about the possibility of reversing your adoption, check the consent and revocation laws in your state.
In the event that you find yourself facing any of these questions, please do not hesitate to contact Zurica Law at 917-538-3670. We will be happy to assist you in answering your questions and representing your interests.

***

Anthony Zurica is an Attorney specializing in Adoption Law and a guest writer for Considering Adoption. Based in New York City, Anthony stands by his clients as an ally and friend during the entire process of adoption, from application to successfully becoming a parent.  Although adoption can be an emotional and oftentimes lengthy process, Anthony is committed to being there every step of the way, 24/7.
Dedicating his life to inspiring optimism and encouraging patience, Anthony works closely with individuals and families. Furthermore, Anthony is a proponent and advocate for LGBT families.
Anthony also volunteers as a CASA (court-appointed special advocate for children), and is on the junior board of the New York Foundling, a charity that that empowers thousands of children and families to live independent, stable and fulfilling lives throughout NY. Find out more and feel free to get in touch through his website, www.nycadoptionlawyer.com, Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn.

Categories
News

What You Can Learn About Adoption from ‘This is Us’

“This is Us” is one of the biggest hits to come out of this fall’s television lineup. But, did you know that it has close ties to adoption?
Focusing on the everyday trials of one family, the show is told in multiple timelines, from the birth of the children to their lives at age 36. One of the children, Randall, is the adopted African-American son of two white parents — and one of three triplets, nonetheless. After hiring a private investigator, he reconnects with his long-lost birth father, revealing one family secret that changes his life.
The show, which airs on NBC, is a fairly family-friendly way of normalizing adoption for all involved: birth parents, adoptive parents and adoptees. Before the midseason finale airs tonight, catch up on the lessons the show has taught us about adoption here.

Categories
Thoughts from a Birth Mother

Spiritual Resources for Healing – Thoughts from a Birth Mother

There are so many resources out there regarding healing, spirituality, and trauma recovery. There are great resources that are positive and beneficial, yet there are those that propagate a negative connotation of perpetual pain. Depending on the foundation of faith that you have, different resources will be helpful to some, while other resources will be helpful to others.
What I have compiled here is a list of resources that are baby steps towards healing. These are some of the resources that I have utilized over the years that have made a significant impact on my life. Please feel free to check these out in any order you desire, at any point throughout your adoption process. I am prayerful that these resources will help guide you towards healing and wholeness.

Joyce Meyer was chronically sexually abused throughout her entire childhood by her father. She has overcome such trauma through her walk with the Lord. Her testimony is powerful, and her message is solid. She speaks of foundations in faith, and has messages for the new believer and the mature believer. Joyce has been the number one most pivotal resource for my healing. I began listening to her years ago, and she has been crucial in learning how to navigate through my journey of healing.

Spending time in worship is crucial for my path of healing. Bethel has given me the gift of peace on many occasions. In fact, this soundtrack is what I’m listening to as I write this mini resource guide.

Todd White has a powerful testimony of recovering as a drug addict through the love of Jesus Christ. He is an evangelical preacher who shares how much Christ loves us throughout the world. His messages are that of peace and love. He desires for us all to be healed and whole. This message spoke volumes to me throughout my healing process.

Michael Mirdad is an author. He is not a Christian, but his book: “You’re Not Going Crazy… You’re Just Waking Up”, is what helped me to realize that my heart breaking after adoption and being abandoned by those I loved was a part of breaking off ties that no longer served a positive impact on my life. You can purchase the book on Amazon.com.

Lindsay Rambo Vertical

There are many online resources and forums available as well. Make sure you filter out the resources that you find the most helpful, and the ones that are shallow and not helpful. Be careful to not get swept up in the pain that the world wants you to embrace, and remember that God wants you to embrace: peace.
~Lindsay Arielle
Lindsay is a guest blogger for Considering Adoption. She placed her son for adoption 7 years ago and hopes to use her experience to support and educate other expectant mothers considering adoption, as well as adoptive families.

Categories
Adoption Feature Stories

How One Adoptee is Using Her Miss Texas Platform for Adoption

When Shelby Patrice Jenkins was a baby, her mother abandoned her at a caregiver’s house. She spent the next year and a half at the Crisis Center in Miami with many other foster children, all waiting for their forever families.
Adopted at 19 months old, she would live with her adoptive parents for 10 years before finding out she was adopted. For the next years of her life, she kept her adoption a secret — afraid of how people would treat her if they knew the truth.
But, today, she’s overcome that fear and is raising awareness about adoption as Miss Texas US International 2016 and the ambassador for Adoption is Beautiful, a national movement aiming to promote a positive conversation about adoption across the United States.
“I wanted a platform that I can relate to and I can speak to kids that are in the foster system or are adopted,” she said. “After 16 years of my life, that’s when I decided to come out and say, ‘I’m adopted.’”

Adoption is Beautiful

Partnering with Adoption Share, the organization behind Adoption is Beautiful, Jenkins is traveling the country to spread awareness about adoption. She has been attending conferences and workshops, making herself available as a resource to parents considering adoption as well as children in the foster care system or who have already been adopted.
However, while she’s spreading a positive message about adoption today, it wasn’t an easy journey toward accepting her own adoption. When she found out about her adoption, Jenkins was hesitant to tell anyone about it because she was afraid people wouldn’t understand or would make fun of her. When she finally came out with the truth, she was petrified.
Instead of jeers, however, she found a huge support system that she’s hoping to share with other adopted children.
“People were actually telling me, ‘Shelby, wow. Your story is so powerful,’” she said, remembering hearing from other adopted people who had never told their story, some even women in their 30s and 40s. One woman had never even told her husband she was adopted.
“I felt like I was the only one in America hiding that,” she said. “And I wasn’t.”

Spreading Awareness

While she’s still coping with the emotions of her adoption — she’s working up the courage to contact her biological parents — she’s using her newfound appreciation of adoption to help the thousands of children in foster care across the country find adoptive parents. She said her adoptive parents, who have been supportive of her throughout her life in whatever passion she had, are thrilled about her choice to educate others about the realities of adoption.
In addition to meeting with potential parents and children available for adoption, Jenkins worked closely with producers of the movie “Storks” to discuss and spread awareness about its adoption themes and has spoken about her platform to several media outlets. She was even on the cover of Adoption Today’s November issue.

She’ll serve as the ambassador for Adoption is Beautiful until August 2017 and, after that, she plans to continue raising awareness about adoption through her personal brand. She and her team are hoping to start a perfume line (with proceeds going to adoption organizations) and bring an “adoption tour” to campuses across the country so she can share her story and, hopefully, increase foster care adoption rates.
“It’s such a positive message to the community — showing how far I’ve gotten,” she said. “I do it because it’s my passion and because I really want these kids to get adopted.
“I’m able to reach out to these kids and say, you know, ‘If I can do it, you can do it, too,’” she said. “The best is yet to come.”
You can follow Shelby on Instagram and contact her at misstexasusintl2016@gmail.com.
 

Categories
Thoughts from a Birth Mother

Why It's Important to Live for Yourself – Thoughts from a Birth Mother

I have dreamt for so long that I would do something significant with my life. Then, I gave birth to the most beautiful baby that ever existed. My son became the reason that I functioned. He became the reason that I took a breath. He became my “everything”. He stayed my “everything”, even after I put him up for adoption.
I confessed this perception that I had in therapy rather recently, thinking that there was nothing unhealthy about it, and was told, “You cannot just live for your son. We need to transition you to live for yourself.” Such a statement came as a shock to me, but once it started to sink in, it began to make sense. I had made my entire world revolve around being a birth mother and had lost sight of the other roles that I play in my life.

Faith First

I am a Christian. This means that I believe in Jesus Christ. By putting my son ahead of everything in my life, I was also putting him above my belief systems and my God. In Christianity, this is called “idolatry”. All of my work and actions were based on being a birth parent. In my faith, I believe that God comes first.  People cannot come first because I cannot truly love myself and others without a strong and ever-faithful love for my Creator.

I Am a Woman

After realizing that there was truth in what my therapist said to me, I began considering the things that I truly wanted for myself. I realized that I have dreams and vision for my life that doesn’t focus only on being a birth mother. For example, I have been married for two years. That relationship has been put on the back burner at times when I have isolated myself to having my world revolve only around being a birth parent. My husband is incredibly patient with me when it comes to this aspect of my life, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to grow as a wife.
People who know me well will tell you that I am the type of personality that always seeks to grow in maturity and understanding in every area of my life.  I not only desire to grow as a birth mother in maturity and understanding, peace and acceptance, but also as a loving and mature wife in Christ.

Do It for You

Lindsay Rambo Vertical

I’m not saying that you have to believe in the God that I believe in. You don’t have to prescribe to the same faith that I do in order to understand the message that I am conveying.  What I’m trying to share with you is that if your entire world revolves around one thing, and you don’t have balance in the other areas of your life, your life and potentially other relationships will suffer as a result of that.
Expand your horizons and seek healing in order to achieve physical, emotional, and spiritual balance in your life.  Take a look at the different areas in your life, and consider how much time and effort you dedicate to them. Make a commitment and take action to achieve a balance between the different aspects of your life. Balance will not be achieved overnight. This will take dedication, hard work, and patience, but it will be worth it as you begin to live a healthier life. I know you will be surprised at the doors of healing and opportunity that will open as such balance is sought after. Most of all make this commitment for you. As you learn to love yourself and find your balance, life will become much more fulfilling. We can go on this journey together, as I am now seeking a more balanced life as well.
“Balance is not something you find. It’s something you create.” ~ Unknown Author
~Lindsay Arielle
Lindsay is a guest blogger for Considering Adoption. She placed her son for adoption 7 years ago and hopes to use her experience to support and educate other expectant mothers considering adoption, as well as adoptive families.

Get Free Info