Did You Know After Five Months, Your Baby…
- weighs almost one pound and is about as long as a banana?
- is developing its sense of touch and is practicing gripping?
- is yawning and hiccupping?
- is developing his or her reproductive organs?
Facing an unplanned pregnancy can be very difficult on women for a number of reasons, but for some, telling friends, family members and the father of the baby may be the hardest part of all.
Now that you are in your fifth month of pregnancy, you are likely starting to show. If you have been keeping your pregnancy a secret from certain people in your life, or perhaps from everyone, it will become increasingly difficult as your belly continues to grow.
If this describes your situation, the following will give you some insight on how to tell friends and family members about your pregnancy:
Who to Tell:
It is usually a good idea to first tell the people who you know will be supportive of your pregnancy. This will provide you three things:
- Confidence – Receiving support and understanding from at least one friend or family member will help you build your confidence when telling everyone else.
- Practice – To get the response you are hoping for from certain family members or friends, you may have to frame how you disclose the news. By first telling the people who you think will be supportive anyway, you will be able to practice how you approach this conversation with the people whom may be harder to gain support from.
- Support – Having at least one person who can be your primary support is always important. He or she can help you decide how to approach other family members or friends and may even join you when telling them the news. This person can help you in countless other ways as well throughout your pregnancy.
Where to Tell:
This will be one of the more important conversations you will ever have with certain people in your life, so you will want to make sure these conversations take place in a controlled environment.
You may want to tell the father, family members or friends about your pregnancy anywhere that is private, relatively quiet and free of distractions. You will also want to avoid someone else entering the conversation, so choose a location that minimizes the chance of this happening.
For example, if you are ready to tell your parents, but you have siblings who are frequently coming and going from the house, you may want to ask your parents to meet you at a park, another family member’s house or any other place that is private.
How to Tell:
While there is no way of predicting exactly how someone is going to react when learning of your pregnancy, you will give yourself the best chance of getting the desired reaction by being completely honest.
Tell them your plan for raising the baby, whether that is through parenting or adoption, and tell them how important their support would mean to you. Tell them you are excited for them to be key figures in your baby’s life.
Again, feel free to bring along the person who supports you the most, who can help you explain your thoughts and feelings to the people you may feel uncomfortable telling.
Help to Tell:
If you are nervous about telling your family or friends about your pregnancy, or if you are just having a difficult time emotionally, consider speaking to a counselor. A counselor can help you in many ways, but perhaps most importantly for you, he or she will help you determine how to disclose your pregnancy to the people in your life.
You may find a counselor at school, church, your state’s social services department, or you may contact a private counselor.
If you need counseling because you are unsure of whether you are ready to parent, remember that many adoption professionals offer free counseling to any woman interested in exploring her options. This counseling includes how to tell friends, family and the birth father about your pregnancy and potential adoption plan.
Finally, by choosing adoption, it is possible that you may not have to tell friends and family about your pregnancy and adoption. Adoption is a confidential process, and it is your decision whether you want to keep it private.