This is Part Two in a two-part series. Read Part One here.
Learning about the difference between adoption myth and fact is so important to society. I hear stories of women who were taken advantage of during their adoption process — and I remember what that fear was like. I hate hearing these stories, and I am ever so grateful for the adoption process that I was able to experience.
My goal in sharing this information is to help increase adoption awareness and truth in society so that prospective birth mothers and birth mothers no longer have such negative experiences. If you are a prospective birth mother, please educate yourself on adoption before committing to a specific agency or adoptive family.
To help, here are some additional important facts to know for a successful adoption.
5. A child is never “too old to be adopted.”
My son was 6-months-old when I choose adoption for him. His parents love him as if he has been theirs from the start! There is no “too old” when it comes to choosing adoption. If you have already given birth to your baby, you can choose adoption. If you have been a mother for a period of time, you can still choose adoption. There is no age-limit for choosing adoption; however, there may be age limits for some adoption agencies. Know that you can consider not only local adoption agencies but also national adoption agencies for your journey.
6. You CANNOT get paid for adoption in the United States.
No matter what anyone tells you, you cannot get paid for adoption in the United States. Exchanging a baby for money is considered “human trafficking,” which is a big no-no in the U.S. However, there is what the adoption community calls “financial assistance.”
Depending on the laws of the state that you reside in, you may be able to have an adoption agency pay for some of your living expenses, as well as all of your adoption-related expenses. If you live in a state in which there is little to no financial assistance allowed in state law, there are still other ways to receive adoption financial assistance. The best person to talk to about allowable expenses in your state is your adoption professional. Also, read the laws yourself to make sure that the adoption agency is giving you proper information.
7. Prospective birth mothers remain in legal control of their child up until giving their adoption consent.
I think it’s important to note that you can change your mind about anything regarding your adoption up until you sign your legal consent to place your child for adoption. There will be a revocation period after signing your consent. Once both of these steps have been finalized, your adoption process will be complete.
This means that a prospective birth mother can change her mind about things like choosing adoption in the first place, who will adopt her baby, and who will or will not be present at the delivery of her baby. These decisions are all part of what makes up an “adoption plan.” Make sure your adoption plan is what you want, and don’t let anyone pressure you into making decisions that you are uncomfortable with.
If you are feeling uncomfortable about your current adoption situation, or if you just have some general questions, I highly recommend you reach out to American Adoptions at 1-800-ADOPTION. There is also a lot of great information on positive adoption websites like American Adoptions and Considering Adoption. Be careful when you are searching for information, and always look at where the sources of information are coming from. Personal blogs and websites like Wikipedia are not exactly reputable sources.
If I could have you take away one thing from this article, it would be to educate yourself about your rights in adoption before you begin the process. If you write down all of the services you need, and all the help that you need during an adoption, then you can share all of those things with different agencies to find the best fit. After all…
“The only fence against the world is a thorough knowledge or it.” – John Locke
Lindsay is a guest blogger for Considering Adoption. She placed her son for adoption 7 years ago and hopes to use her experience to support and educate other expectant mothers considering adoption, as well as adoptive families.