I’m currently listening to an audio soundtrack I have enjoyed for at least a decade. I listen to it frequently, and for some reason unknown to me, it is bringing back memories of what life was like before I chose adoption. You see, I was a mother for six months before I made the adoption decision for myself and my son. Reflecting on what life was like when I was a mother makes me very grateful for the life that I have today. I would like to take this opportunity to share with you how amazing life after adoption can be. My life has changed so much in the past seven years since I chose adoption, let me share it with you.
My Home Sweet Home
Through my pregnancy and while I was a mother, my son and I lived with some family friends. The family we lived with at the time were people I considered family. We were so close that we all thought we would grow old together. Needless to say, that won’t happen. My adoption decision caused such a significant falling out that they basically disowned me. During my stay with them, this family made me feel uncomfortable, and I was intimated to walk around the house and feel at home. We lived isolated on the third floor, and while we had access to the amenities of the house, I always felt like our being there was a burden to them.
Today, I live in a beautiful ranch house out in the country with my husband and my step-son. I am free to roam around my house as I please, and I feel completely comfortable here. I am responsible for my part of the finances and household duties, as this is my house. In fact, I wouldn’t even call it a house. I would call it home. Finally, I have a home.
My Son’s Happiness
I chose adoption because I believed it was the best decision for my child and myself. I recently received pictures of my son via text message from his mother. His smile is beyond delightful! I love looking at his happy face and seeing the different backgrounds in the photos that show me the variety of life he is living and the opportunities that he has. The life my son is living is the life that I wanted him to live. He is excelling in school, traveling the continent, and is ever so loved by his parents and family.
The best part of watching my son grow up is that I have a relationship with him. I get to see him at least once per year, talk to him on the phone, and receive letters and updates. My son and his parents came to visit me a few months ago over a long weekend, and it was so refreshing. I was elated to be with them for a few days, and soaked up every moment of joy while they were here. Life after placement with my son is special, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Meeting My Goals
When I was pregnant, I was finishing my undergraduate courses. At eight months pregnant, I was waddling into a college classroom and finishing my course work. I walked at graduation when my son was three months old. As a mother, I took a full-time job that kept me away from my son 12 hours Monday through Friday. I was exhausted from lack of sleep. I couldn’t give my work the focus that I wanted to give it. I couldn’t spend enough time with my son. Even more frustrating than that was watching how much my paycheck was decreased just from paying for childcare for those work hours. I felt like no matter what I did, I was stuck.
Today, I am living proof that dreams can come true and goals can be met. I have always had a passion for writing, and for helping to empower women. Now I have the privilege of combining these passions and writing about spiritual healing for birth mothers who choose adoption. I no longer feel stuck, exhausted on a daily basis, nor do I have the guilt of not being able to provide for my child. One of my biggest joys when my son was visiting was being able to give, for the first time ever, cash to my son’s parents for my son to invest in something. What a wonderful feeling! I was able to give a gift in a form I have never been able to give before because I just wasn’t able to.
Adoption is Beautiful
Voluntarily choosing to place your baby for adoption can be one of the most amazing choices you will ever experience. If adoption feels peaceful to you because you know it the right decision, then be encouraged. I never thought seven years ago that my life could be this fulfilling. I still have a whole life to live, experiences to be had, and goals to meet. However, I am on the right path. Not only do I reach for my goals for myself, but for my son as well. I want him to be proud of me too. I am a proud birth mother!
Lindsay is a guest blogger for Considering Adoption. She placed her son for adoption 7 years ago and hopes to use her experience to support and educate other expectant mothers considering adoption, as well as adoptive families.