How I Know Adoption Was the Right Choice – Thoughts from a Birth Mother


How do you know when adoption is the right choice? I knew that adoption was the right choice from the moment that I made my decision. However, there were so many opinions around me of people who thought adoption was the right choice, and people who didn’t. I had so many voices rolling around in my head between friends and family members. One of the most challenging things I had to do was to ignore all of those voices and just make a decision for myself and for my baby about adoption. I know that adoption was the right choice for me and baby. I knew it then, and I know it now.

Here are three ways I know I made the right choice by choosing adoption:

1. I Weighed My Options

The first thing I did when I thought of choosing adoption was to weigh out the options that I had. I really didn’t have a lot of support, and resources were few and far between. My son and I were in a tight spot financially, and I didn’t know how I could provide for him on my own. Looking at my pros and cons list, it became obvious to me that both my son and I would benefit from adoption. Not only would we be better off financially, but I knew that another family with a solid foundation would be able to give him the life that I wanted for him. We didn’t have much more to lose, but we had everything to gain by me making an adoption decision. Look at your options, and be honest about the pros and cons on your own adoption option list. If adoption really is the best decision for you and baby, then it will be reflected in weighing out your options.

2. I Trusted His Parents

When I first met my son’s mother, I felt a wave of peace come upon me. It was almost like I experienced a knowing that she was always meant to be the mother to my son. After I met both of his prospective adoptive parents, I left feeling incredible. I was crying with joy, and laughing with excitement. I knew that this amazing couple was who my son was meant to be with. I felt it throughout my whole body. They were stable, financially and emotionally, and I knew they would be able to provide my son with a life that I just wasn’t able to provide. When you meet prospective adoptive parents, I’m hopeful you will have the same experience that I did and just feel a knowing that they are the right fit.

3. I Felt Peace

The greatest occurrence that gave me comfort in knowing adoption was the right decision was the sense of peace that I felt with my decision and the family that he would become a part of. Having peace about an adoption decision is priceless. There is literally nothing that will make you feel more confident about your decision than peace surrounding it. Imagine all the voices and opinions just drifting away, and in your soul, you know an unexplainable peace. That’s what I experienced. That’s what I still experience. It didn’t take effort to force peace, it just came upon me. That’s how peace works. It comes upon you even when you are not expecting it.

Fast Forward

My adoption decision was made seven years ago, and I still know that I made the right decision. I believe that without that peace initially, I would not have been able to follow through with the adoption and walk a path of healing. There is no greater sacrifice than choosing adoption for your child when you know that it is what is best for both of you. I know today that I made the right decision. I knew this then because of the hope I had for my son as long as he was with his parents. I know this today because I see him living a healthy and happy life. He has so many opportunities that I still wouldn’t be able to give to him. I am ever so grateful for my adoption decision and for my son’s parents.

If you are wondering how to find peace with an adoption decision, then consider searching your heart for what you truly want out of life for yourself and for your baby. Ignore all the voices and opinions, find a quiet place, and do some soul searching. Be honest with yourself about your current situation, your options, and what you desire the outcome to be.  I promise that when the peace comes, it will make you feel unstoppable and confident in your adoption decision.

~Lindsay Arielle

Lindsay is a guest blogger for Considering Adoption. She placed her son for adoption 7 years ago and hopes to use her experience to support and educate other expectant mothers considering adoption, as well as adoptive families.

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