Letter to My Younger Self – Thoughts from a Birth Mother

Dearest Younger, Lonely, Lindsay Arielle,
Do not give up or lose hope while you are going through the process of adoption.
I Offer Hope
There are so many things I wish you knew while you are going through this. I desire to give you hope as you go through the transition of being a custodial mother to a birth mother. I know that you love your son. I know that what you are doing is selfless. I know that what you have done is brave. I know that you feel as if you have lost everything, and that you will never feel better. It’s not true though. It is a lie from the enemy that you will be in pain forever.
This Too Shall Pass
I wish you knew that it will get easier. I wish you knew that holding on to hope is more valuable than you are capable of understanding right now. The pain will ease up, and things will get easier. I promise. Not only will the pain lessen, but the joy will increase exponentially.
A Gift?
This is a gift. I know that sounds crazy. How could putting your son into the arms of another be a gift? It’s a gift because it offers you and him a new life. Your son will be able to live a normal childhood with two parents who love him as much as you do. They will treat him with respect and honor, and he will have everything you wish you could have provided for him.
Purpose?
There is purpose in this. You will find that as time goes on, the loneliness will, at times, rip you into shreds. Yet, you will start to pick up the pieces and come upon crucial revelation: you are not alone. There are so many birth mothers who suffer silently in pain. There are women who keep their adoptions to themselves, those who have been disowned as you were, and those who desire to find healing but don’t even know where to begin. You will help them. You will be a light on their path of healing.
You are being called to greater things, and one day, you will help other birth mothers to heal.
Job
I wish you knew that Job wanted to give up too.
“I am weary of my life and loathe it! I will give free my expression to my complaint; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.” – Job 10:1
Job lost his children, his wealth, his health, and he wanted to give up on himself, his faith, and his life. Yet, Job’s friends stood by his side and encouraged him to continue on in his faith. While he suffered great losses, God never left his side. Job made it through.
Jesus Loves Us
I wish you knew Jesus, and that He died for you so that you could be relieved of this pain. I wish you knew how much God loves you, and that he will never forsake you. I promise you that throughout all of your times of doubt, Jesus will lift you up into His throne room and you will know Him as your Savior, whether you can believe it or not.
Dearest, lonely Lindsay… do not fear.
“For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.” – Jeremiah 29:11
Love, Older and Somewhat Wiser, Lindsay Arielle
~Lindsay Arielle
 
Lindsay is a guest blogger for Considering Adoption. She placed her son for adoption 7 years ago and hopes to use her experience to support and educate other expectant mothers considering adoption, as well as adoptive families.