In this season of love, adoption ranks at the top of our list of things we adore. The passion our family has for adoption and the love it brings to us and through us is one of the dearest treasures we will possess in our lifetime. Its impact on our life and the lives of the ones around us will be a glimmer of love shining bright in a world full of clichéd feelings and admiration. For this season, we will remember our top five loves of adoption for us and those we know who have been affected by adoption.
1. The Web of Love
The opportunity for multiple families to offer love for a child, whether the child is biologically connected to you or comes home through adoption, sparks joy in the anticipation of relationships that could flourish. Most adoption experts will recommend an open adoption for families involved so that relationships can be maintained throughout a child’s life. This has not only proven to be healthier and more beneficial for the child, but it allows the (birth and adoptive) family members to extend grace and appreciation to one another. Each family learns to value the members that make up the support system that loves and sacrifices for the child and exhibits hope for the future.
2. A Perspective Shift
Love in action is a great description of what adoption is. Our family has experienced a perspective shift from focusing on our daily selfish desires to seeing the world through the eyes of a birth mother, an adopted child, and those bystanders who witness an adoption story. We see a need for the lesson of love and compassion that adoption conveys as well as our responsibility to proclaim the importance of adoption and its impact on all those involved. This perspective shift has allowed us to be less inwardly focused and see how adoption has impressed such valuable understandings of life and love on our family.
3. Joy Even in Unhappiness
Our joy does not depend on our circumstances. We have seen many of the highs and lows of what adoption brings, and we know that adoption does not always produce only happy moments. There can be anxiety or stress, fear or sadness, discouragement or confusion. But we know that in all of these conditional feelings, joy represents adoption as a whole. We remain in our joy because we know the unhappy moments don’t define us or our story; our joy is constant because we know adoption will produce the love that runs deeper than a situational grief. Unhappiness does not ruin circumstances, but rather places us in a position to appreciate the love that is unconditional.
4. Lessons for our Girls
Adoption is teaching our girls the deepest ideas of love and true beauty. As parents, we strive to foster the innocence of a child’s love and take opportunities to help them flourish in their purest form. In our conversations about adoption with our daughters, we get to focus on sharing the love from our family with another baby and her family who needs it. We also get to demonstrate love in action for our girls for a baby and family who may not look like us, have the same background or interests as us, or even carry similar ideas of family. We have the opportunity to meld our devotions with another family and create a love story that will leave an impact on our girls and how they love in the future.
5. Opportunity to Share our Story
Probably the greatest love of our family’s adoption is that it allows us to share our story with others. Our adoption love story started way back when my husband and I started dating and shared our desire for adoption someday in our future. Today, we have come so far from those late-night conversations to the reality of our adoption process and all that has happened to bring us to this point. We take pride in being able to share the details of our story with others to inspire them with a beautiful love, a thought of how their family can assist in adoption in some way, and to bring hope and encouragement in an otherwise dismal world. We always pray that by sharing our story we can somehow impact another’s life for the better.
Jill is a 32-year-old wife and mom. She has been married to her husband, Brannon, for eight years and has 5-year-old and 1-year-old daughters. Jill and her husband are currently in the adoption process to bring another baby into their home. Jill lives in a small community in Kentucky. She has her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Spanish and obtained her Master’s degree in Christian Ministries. Jill’s passions are her faith, her family, writing, playing sports, and eating good food.