Adoption Interview Questions: What to Ask Adoptive Families or Birth Parents

Once it’s time to begin getting to know the birth mother or adoptive family, you can ask them questions to start building a relationship. Here are some solid starting points to get the conversation flowing.

Once a prospective birth mother and hopeful adoptive family are matched, they can begin pursuing an adoption plan together. If you are participating in an open-or semi-open adoption, the time before the baby is born is a great opportunity to communicate, get to know one another, and ask questions.

A prospective birth mother can and should ask the adoptive family about anything that concerns her or is important to her. Getting to know the adoptive family will help her feel as confident as possible in this very important decision. As a birth mother, getting to know the adoptive family is one of the essential steps towards feeling comfortable in placing your baby with them. Read this guide to learn more about the best ways to get to know potential families. 

A hopeful adoptive family should let the prospective birth mother lead the conversation, as she will likely have a lot of questions. At the same time, families should explicitly show that they are interested in getting to know her and learning about her life.


  • How and when did you meet?
  • What quality do you like best in each other?
  • When you have fights or disagreements, how do you resolve them?
  • How did you know you wanted to become parents?
  • What made you want to choose adoption?
  • When is your due date?
  • How has your pregnancy been so far?
  • What did you see in our profiles that made you choose us?
  • Is there anything you’d like to know about me?

Home and Family

  • What is your home like?
  • How long have you lived there?
  • What is your neighborhood like?
  • Do you have other children?
  • Do you have pets?
  • What is your community like?
  • Will there be a parent staying home with the child? If not, what are your childcare plans?
  • Are you in touch with extended family?
  • Do you come from a small or large family?
  • Do you have any pets?
  • How does your family feel about the pregnancy?
  • How does the birth father feel about your decision?


  • Are you religious? If so, what is your denomination?
  • How to you plan to teach religious values to my child, if at all?
  • What will you do if your child has different religious beliefs than you?
  • How important is education and learning in your home?
  • What do you think it means to be a good person, and how would you teach that to your child?
  • Do you have religious beliefs that you would like your child to grow up with?
  • What qualities do you think are important for your baby to have growing up?
  • What do you think makes someone a good parent?

Work and Hobbies

  • What do you do for work?
  • Do you like your job?
  • How much do you work? Is your schedule rigid or flexible?
  • What do you like to do in your free time?
  • What does a typical weekend look like for you?
  • Are you working right now?
  • What do you like to do in your free time?
  • What do you want to do after the baby is born?
  • What kind of hobbies and activities would you like your child to try?

Parenting and Adoption

  • Do you have any experience with adoption?
  • Do you know anyone who is adopted or has adopted a child?
  • How will you explain adoption to the child?
  • How will you talk about me to the child?
  • What kind of parents do you see yourself being?
  • If you already have kids, how would you describe yourselves as parents?
  • What kind of relationship are you open to after the adoption?
  • Have you had any experience with other birth parents or open adoption?
  • Would you agree to in-person visits? If so, how often?
  • Do you have any special requests for how we raise your child?
  • Would you like to meet before the baby is born?
  • Do you know any other people who have placed their babies for adoption?
  • What kind of relationship do you want to have after the adoption?

Final Thoughts

As birth parents and adoptive families pursue an adoption plan together, communication can lead to a happy and rewarding adoption experience for everyone involved. The more you get to know one another, the more confident and prepared you will feel moving forward in your adoption journey.
Please click the following to learn more about getting to know adoptive parents or getting to know birth parents.

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