When you finally see your baby for the first time as adoptive parents, you’re likely to be overwhelmed with happiness. It will be immensely exciting, and you probably won’t feel like you can wait to take your baby home for the first time and start your new life together.
However, at the same time that you’ll be feeling all of these exciting emotions, your baby’s birth mother may be feeling sadness, grief and loneliness. You will probably want be there for her and provide any support that you can during this difficult time.
Many adoptive parents choose to give their baby’s birth mother a gift before they leave the hospital. This is a great opportunity to show your appreciation and gratitude to your baby’s birth mom. In many cases, the gift that adoptive parents choose is a way for a birth mother to keep her baby emotionally close and a special memento for remembering him or her.
What you choose to give your baby’s birth mom will be ultimately up to you and the relationship you have with her. In many cases, you may wish to choose a subtle gift — one that represents her choice for adoption in a way that won’t prompt people to ask questions about it that she doesn’t want to answer. Before you decide on a gift for your baby’s birth mom, however, make sure you discuss your choice with your adoption professional to avoid any legal complications that could arise.
Here are some good ideas to get started:
Simple jewelry is always a good idea for birth mothers, because it’s a piece that she can wear all the time and keep her child close to her heart. You might want to buy a piece with the baby’s birthstone or engrave the baby’s birth date or name in a special place.
2. Stuffed Animals
You might choose to get a stuffed animal for your baby’s birth mom that matches one her baby will have growing up with you. Perhaps choose an animal that’s meaningful to her — maybe her favorite animal growing up or something like an elephant, representing you’ll never forget her adoption decision.
3. A Quilt or Blanket
If you’re crafty, you may want to make your baby’s birth mom something that she can hold when she leaves the hospital and cuddle up with when she’s having bad days. A blanket or quilt with meaningful embroidery can be a beautiful gift.
4. Postpartum Pampering Supplies
For less sentimental birth mothers, you may choose to get something a little more practical — for example, spa supplies or things that will help make her comfortable as she adjusts to life after giving birth. Birth Mother Baskets is an organization that specializes in this.
5. A Photo Album
When your baby is still in the hospital, you’ll likely be taking lots of pictures to document this start of your parenthood journey. So, why not make duplicates of the photos and send them home with your baby’s birth mother when she’s discharged? You can buy a beautiful bound photo album and leave empty pages for her to put the photos she’ll receive from you in the upcoming years — which will also represent your promise to her. You may even want to include your original adoptive family profile in the first couple of pages.
If you can create a relationship with your baby’s birth mother leading up to the hospital stay, you’ll have a great opportunity to learn more about what she likes and what kind of gifts may mean the most to her. Don’t feel like you’re limited to your baby’s birth mother, either; if other members of your baby’s birth family have been integral in her adoption process, you can find something special for them as well. Just remember to speak with your adoption specialist before giving any gifts to make sure you’re not violating any laws for living expenses.
Choosing to give your baby’s birth mother a gift upon placement is a wonderful way to show your appreciation. Your little act will go a long way toward helping her recover from some of the emotional difficulties of her decision and will let her cherish her baby in a special way for the rest of her life.