For the amount of research my husband and I have done since starting our adoption process, you may have thought we would be experts — until we reached the period of waiting to be matched with a potential birth mother. All the research about the general process of adoption did not prepare us for how to handle the interval of time between being home-study approved and bringing home a baby. Here are five things I’ve learned during the waiting.
1. I have no control.
With our adoption professional, my husband and I can choose which situations to present our profile to and what gender we would prefer, but the timing of when we will receive possible situations or what they will entail or even if the potential birth mother will choose our profile is out of our control. I am learning how to trust God’s timing and plan as we strive for patience in the wait.
2. So many are affected by adoption.
Adoption is a subject that gets people talking and even more to share their own story of how their life has been touched by adoption. Many people have shared their own stories with us as they offer encouragement for our family.
3. My spouse knows how I feel.
As many adoption stories as we can hear and compare ours to, every single story will be unique to each different family. My husband, who is going on this journey with me, will be the only person who really knows how I feel as he walks alongside me, experiencing the same highs and lows as we are waiting for the same outcome.
4. You think you’ve heard it all.
Just like our story is unique to our own adoption, each birth mother’s story will be a distinct representation of her life. No birth mother’s story will be a generic duplicate of one you have heard before. Her experiences that led her to the decision of adoption are unique to her.
5. I need support.
As much as I want to practice my patience during the wait time, I also need to be vulnerable about our process at times and allow friends and family to offer their support and encouragement. We are meant to live in community with others and support from those in our circle will give us the boost we need to continue on even during the difficult days. We also need support from others who have walked through adoption and can give circumstantial advice or empathy along the way. Connecting with families who have walked this path offers a refreshing support when the wait seems long.
Our wait is not yet over as we continue along our adoption journey. We will continue to learn and grow as we endure the days to come.
Jill is a 31-year-old wife and mom. She has been married to her husband, Brannon, for eight years and has 4-year-old and 3-month-old daughters. Jill and her husband are currently in the adoption process to bring another baby into their home. Jill lives in a small community in Kentucky. She has her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Spanish and obtained her Master’s degree in Christian Ministries. Jill’s passions are her faith, her family, writing, playing sports, and eating good food.