Spring is here! When winter breathes its last breath, a collective sigh can be heard the world over as people pat themselves on the back for having survived the past three (or more!) months of cold, snow and clouds. What a relief to be able to be outside for an extended period of time! And as the days get longer, there’s more time to enjoy all that Mother Nature has brought out of hibernation. If your children cannot spend another minute indoors, here are some fun springtime activities to get them out of the house. After all, summer will be here soon enough, and you’ll be looking for indoor respite from the heat and humidity!
Take an empty toilet paper roll, cover it in peanut butter, then roll it in bird seed. Voila! Hang it from a tree and keep track of the different birds that visit your feeder.
Spring is a great time for a nature walk, as everything is blooming, growing, and coming out of hibernation. Take along a nature scavenger hunt checklist to keep track of what you see along the way.
This is an easy experiment to do with your kids. Put a dried lima bean in a plastic sandwich bag with a wet paper towel. Tape the bag to the window for sunlight. In a few days, you’ll see the roots develop and eventually a sprout will come out of the bean. To further explain the process to your kids, read From Seed to Plant by Gail Gibbons.
Now that your kids understand how plants grow, it’s time to test their green thumb. This can be as big or as little as you’d like. Short on space? Herbs can easily be grown indoors in small pots. If you have space in the yard, plant vegetables that are hearty and easy to grow, so your kids don’t get frustrated. Tomatoes, lettuce and beans fall into this category.
Your kids will love seeing the life cycle of a butterfly in action! Insect Lore sells a container of five or six caterpillars. Follow the enclosed easy directions to watch a caterpillar transform into a butterfly.
Spring brings the holiday of Easter, and if you celebrate, there are so many fun Easter-related activities you can do with kids! Dyeing eggs is a perennial favorite, and the process has evolved over the years. You can still buy the simple kit with colored tablets to dissolve in vinegar. How about using shaving cream and food coloring? You can find the directions here.
Once you’ve dyed those eggs, it’s time to hide them and let the kids find them. You can also buy plastic eggs at the dollar store and fill them with treasures for the kids to find — candy, money, crayons. Get your neighbors involved and have the hunt span across a few yards. Spring won’t be here long, so make the most of it! Shed your winter coat and enjoy the season!
In September 2016, the U.S. Department of State proposed new rules regulating international adoptions. The rules, if implemented, would drastically impact hopeful parents’ ability to pursue intercountry adoptions. The adoption community responded with a petition to withdraw the proposed rules, which gained more than 27,000 signatures. In addition, 88 adoption service providers signed an open letter to the Department of State urging them to withdraw the proposed regulations. The State Department announced on April 4, 2017 that the regulations had been withdrawn. Now, SaveAdoptions.org is continuing to advocate for easier intercountry adoptions by highlighting the blanket suspension of adoptions from Nepal, which has been in effect for more than six years. Adoption supporters are invited to sign the plea to lift the Nepal adoption suspension at SaveAdoptions.org.
When a family makes the decision to adopt, they begin an often lengthy process of preparation for their new member. There are piles of paperwork, interviews, and home studies to complete. There is a house to prepare and necessities to buy. While all of this seems like it can take forever, your new family member may be ready to join you sooner than you think! Some families are presented with an adoption opportunity in advance, and may have a number of months to prepare for traveling to meet their child. Other families may find out their new addition was born yesterday! Regardless of the timing of your adoption opportunity, think about what you’ll eventually need when you get the call. Traveling in adoption is unique, exciting and nerve-wracking. Here are some tips for traveling on short notice.
If you know the mother’s due date, start setting aside travel items a few months in advance. Even if you don’t know when your child will arrive, make a list of items you’ll want to pack. You don’t want to miss something when you’re scrambling to leave. Here are some things you’ll want to pack:
It is very easy to over-pack for a baby. Keep in mind that most baby necessities can be purchased wherever you are. The hospital usually sends new parents home with a few days’ worth of diapers, wipes, and formula. Replenish your stock at a local store. Wait to purchase a car seat until a day or two before the baby is discharged. The hospital will not allow you to take your child home without a properly installed car seat. This is an exciting time! Relax and prepare as best as you can. Don’t let the hustle and bustle of last-minute travel overwhelm the joy you’ll feel when you finally meet your new addition.
Whether you are an expectant parent or hopeful adoptive parent, choosing adoption is a big decision. You have a lot to consider before starting the adoption process and will need someone to support and guide you through the ups and downs. The support of friends and family members can have a huge impact on your adoption experience. Also important is the help of an adoption specialist. Adoption specialists serve many purposes and fill many roles. They are educators, counselors and advocates for prospective birth parents and adoptive families. Their services include (but are not limited to):
Along with their official roles, an adoption specialist also plays the role of “friend”. The adoption process can be overwhelming and confusing at times. An adoption specialist can steer you in the right direction, ensure all your needs are being met, and provide reassurance along the way. They are a confidante and a cheerleader. And most adoption specialists would probably say this is their favorite role to play — one they are privileged have.
When families are considering adoption, one of the most common questions is “How much does it cost to adopt a child?” The amount of money a family has budgeted for an adoption may determine which adoption process they choose — domestic, international or foster care. Understanding the breakdown of costs is essential to choosing the best method for your family. Here is an overview of the three main types of adoption, and the average costs associated with each.
Average Cost with an Adoption Agency: $41,532 Average Cost with an Adoption Attorney: $35,594 Private domestic adoption is the adoption of an infant who has been voluntarily placed for adoption by his or her birth parents. This can be done through an adoption agency, which assists the family from the beginning to the end of an adoption, or independently, with the adoptive family finding a birth mother privately and using an attorney to legally complete the adoption. Using an adoption agency may cost more because the agency is there to support both parties throughout the entire adoption. General costs for domestic adoption may include attorney representation for the adoptive and birth parents, medical costs, counseling, rent, phone and travel for the birth parents, as well as travel, court, home study and networking costs for the adoptive parents.
Average Cost (varies by country): $36,070–$46,412 Intercountry adoption is the adoption of a child from another country. In addition to agency and attorney fees, there are international travel expenses, as well as passport and immigration fees. Other fees may include dossier preparation, in-country travel expenses, and in-country adoption expenses. The cost also varies from country to country.
Average Cost: $2,811 Average Monthly Subsidy: $846 This method of adoption is the least expensive because foster care adoption expenses are often reimbursed by the state. This state-run system gets state and sometimes federal tax money to provide needed services and make adoption plans. Children adopted out of foster care may also qualify for a monthly subsidy or health care through Medicaid. Each year, Adoptive Families magazine polls new adoptive families about the expenses incurred during their adoption process. The most recent data published is from 2014–2015. A detailed breakdown of expenses can be found on their website.
Someone I love very dearly is in the process of making the decision to put her baby up for adoption. It is incredibly painful and heartwarming to watch all at the same time. I would do anything for this person to protect her from harm’s way, but I can’t make this decision for her. I can’t take all the painful emotions away from her. I can’t do the hard tasks for her. I can’t make the decision for adoption for someone else.
When I chose adoption, I faced many obstacles. I knew very little about adoption, and I was venturing out to make this decision on my own. I lost people I loved, experienced betrayal and heartbreak, and ultimately ended up learning that there is nothing that I wouldn’t do for my child. I was so proud of myself for standing up for my son and making the best decision for him, but I also felt shame that I couldn’t handle parenting myself.
The guilt and shame that is involved with the adoption process is incredibly difficult to watch, let alone experience. There are so many emotions that come along with choosing adoption, and they can be incredibly difficult to navigate. I found ways to cope while I was going through my adoption decision. Some of the tools I implemented were self-care, taking breaks, and letting myself be an emotional wreck when it was necessary.
Self-care involved taking care of the basic hygienic functions for me while I was going through my adoption decision. Making sure I was bathed, that my teeth were brushed, and that I continued to eat seemed like impossible obstacles to overcome at times. Waking up in the morning was the worst. I would open my eyes and think to myself, “Another day?” I was terrified every day to face what was in front of me. Yet, I did it. I may have been afraid, but I didn’t let that stop me from taking the necessary steps towards choosing adoption and taking care of myself, no matter how hard it was.
Taking breaks was sometimes an hourly thing while going through the adoption process. I had phone calls to make, appointments to keep, and decisions that needed to be made. In between these, and sometimes during, I would have to step away to give myself a breather. I had to get re-focused when I felt overwhelmed so that I could continue to move forward with the tasks that were in front of me. For the most part, those involved in the adoption process totally understood my need for breaks, and graciously excused me when I took them.
Being an emotional wreck was something that couldn’t be compromised throughout the process for adoption. I had to let myself experience the grief, loss and pain without letting it swallow me. I could only feel that massive amount of emotions that I was experiencing in bits and pieces. I was not only dealing with choosing adoption for my six-month-old son, but I was also facing moving away from my home and being disowned by those I had once called family. The pain was exhausting, and while I had to feel it, I could only take it little bits at a time.
Watching someone I love choose the same decision that I made once is ripping my heart out for them. It brings back memories of what I went through, and reminds me of why I spend so much time focused on healing in my own life. It is so important to be supportive of those you love when they choose adoption, because there is no way for you to know exactly what heartache they are experiencing if you haven’t been through it yourself. ~Lindsay Arielle Lindsay is a guest blogger for Considering Adoption. She placed her son for adoption 7 years ago and hopes to use her experience to support and educate other expectant mothers considering adoption, as well as adoptive families.
As recently as 50 years ago, adoption was not spoken about much outside of the family circle — but this doesn’t mean it wasn’t commonplace in society. In fact, adoption has been around since the early days of man. Moses, the Hebrew prophet, was rescued from the river and adopted by an Egyptian princess. Augustus Caesar found out he had been adopted by his uncle, Julius Caesar, during the reading of his will. It was then he learned he was Julius Caesar’s heir, and he went on to become the first emperor of Rome. Those two people alone went on to do noteworthy things. Duante Culpepper, former NFL quarterback and adopted child, said “I am a living testament that you can be adopted and successful.” He is one of many famous adoptees. Here are more famous people who were raised by adoptive families: Kristin Chenoweth – actress
Marilyn Monroe – actress Melissa Gilbert – actress Maya Angelou – writer Charles Dickens – writer Truman Capote – writer Louisa May Alcott – writer Nat King Cole – singer Faith Hill – singer
Tim McGraw – singer Ella Fitzgerald – singer John Lennon – singer George Washington Carver – inventor Steve Jobs – cofounder of Apple Computer President Herbert Hoover President Gerald Ford Nelson Mandela – former President of South Africa First Lady Nancy Reagan First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt Eric Clapton – singer President Bill Clinton
Babe Ruth – professional baseball player Sarah McLachlan – singer Ted Danson – actor (and adoptive father himself) Saint Theresa of Calcutta Simone Biles – Olympic gold medalist Dave Thomas – founder of Wendy’s (and adoptive father himself)
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These are just a few of the many famous and successful people who have been touched by adoption; they are proof that adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents can achieve incredible things.
The Office of Children’s Issues recently issued a notice in response to a high number of inquiries regarding citizenship for adopted children. Many have asked whether children adopted internationally have obtained U.S. citizenship and how to go about documenting U.S. citizenship if acquired. Here, find answers to common questions regarding citizenship for adopted children from the Department of State and the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services.
The Child Citizenship Act automatically grants American citizenship to certain foreign-born children adopted by U.S. citizens. Adopted children who satisfy the following conditions before turning 18 will automatically acquire U.S. citizenship:
In order for a child to qualify under the CCA, the adoptive parents must have finalized the adoption in the United States or abroad. For additional information, visit USCIS. Questions regarding Certificates of Citizenship for children who entered the United States with IR-3 or IH-3 visas can be directed to Child-Citizenship-Act@uscis.dhs.gov.
In order for the CCA to apply to your international adoption, your adoption must be “full and final.” Whether your adoption is considered full and final depends on the circumstances of your adoption and the type of visa your child received. Generally, if your child receives an IH-3 or IR-3 visa, the adoption was finalized in his or her birth country, and your adoption will be considered full and final. If your child receives an IH-4 or IR-4 visa, they will not be granted citizenship until you finalize the adoption in the United States. If you have any questions regarding your adoption finalization or citizenship for your child, speak with an adoption attorney.
There is no law requiring a U.S. citizen to have proof of his or her U.S. citizenship status. However, many adoptive parents choose to obtain evidence of their child’s citizenship. Upon finalizing your international adoption, you may apply for a Certificate of Citizenship issued by USCIS and/or a U.S. passport to obtain evidence of your child’s citizenship. To learn more about the international adoption process and obtaining citizenship for your adopted child, contact an adoption attorney or adoption service provider to discuss your individual circumstances in more detail.
Do I regret my decision to choose adoption? No.
Regret is a loaded word. It implies that one wishes they could go back in time and change something, perhaps use a time machine and make one or two different decisions. Fantasies involve different choices, different interactions with people, and taking knowledge we may have in the present into the past with us. I get it. I do. Regret can swirl into a tornado of emotions and negative thoughts. Regret can completely consume us. It has the nasty side effect of causing massive amounts of resentment toward ourselves, our faith, and others. Regret is no joke, and when it’s experienced, it comes with a multitude of pain.
Do I have regrets in my life? That’s a loaded question because the question uses such a loaded word. I have spent a significant period of my life reflecting on the past. Sometimes, the time I spent was productive in helping me to make better choices. Sometimes, it was basically morbid reflection that served no purpose but to send me on a guilt and shame spiral. That’s the thing about being self-aware and reflective; sometimes you can take it too far. I have been known to do that at times. I am better at catching myself now when I commit to unhealthy reflective time, and can more readily snap my mind out of it and shift my focus elsewhere.
I know that more people deal with racing and morbid thoughts than care to admit it. I have been writing long enough about my thoughts to be able to identify similar thoughts that others struggle with. Plus, I’ve had people confess their struggle to me as well. We are not as alone as I think we feel, or even sometimes want to believe. The thing about morbid self-reflection: it serves almost no purpose whatsoever. It can consume us and plant seeds of doubt within our minds about the choices we have made in our lives. I get it though. It happens.
What has all of this got to do with having regrets as a birth mother? Well, I don’t have regrets as a birth mother. I know some of you may be thinking that I sound pretentious and confident, but please know that is not the case. What I am is self-aware. What I have is a belief system and understanding of myself as a woman that has led me to this conclusion. Believe me, I have thought about whether I have regrets. I have racked my brain through fantasy scenarios regarding choosing adoption, and asked myself all the questions. What I know about regret, for myself, is this: I have always made the best decisions I possibly could with the knowledge I had about my situation at the time that I made those decisions. While I haven’t had the experience in my life of always making the healthiest of decisions, I have spent it making the ones that I believed were the right decisions.
When I was facing the decision of whether to place my baby for adoption or to keep custody of my baby, I was on a spiritual, emotional and mental rollercoaster of questions about what decision to make. Remember, I had my child for six months before choosing adoption. I was a full-time single mother for a period, and was looking at making a permanent decision that would change the outcome of not only my life, but the life of my child as well. Let’s not forget the friends and family members who are affected by adoption as well. It is not a decision birth mothers take lightly. I had offers from friends and family members to care for my child for a period while I could “get stable.” I also had people who were closer friends offer to adopt my child so that he could be raised closer to me than if I placed him with a family I didn’t know. I had the option of going to the courts to get child support so I could get on government welfare assistance. I had options.
There is no way for me to realistically say that I have regrets about my decision for adoption, because that would mean that I wish I had made different decisions. The implications of such an idea are more than even my mind can comprehend. Sure, if I had different circumstances, more support, more money, maybe things would have been different. But I didn’t have any of those things. I had the hand that I was dealt, and that I participated in. It is impossible for me to regret a decision I made when, at the time, I believed it to be the right decision. To this day, I am still grateful that I made the decision that I did.
Regret, and giving into the idea of what it implies, is something I have decided to walk away from in my life. Living in morbid reflection of “coulda, woulda, shoulda” is not where I want to mentally live my life today. It’s not that I haven’t experienced the feeling of regret, it’s that I realize it is not productive, and therefore, I have learned how to live without such feelings. If you have regrets, you are not alone, but perhaps you could cut yourself some slack. Perhaps you could allow yourself to experience grief and loss without beating yourself up for an old decision that you made. Part of life is maturing as we grow up. There is an adage that implies youth is a waste without wisdom. Yet, life is what it is. We don’t have time machines. We can’t force ourselves to have knowledge and maturity that we don’t have, or aren’t ready to have.
I’m sure that most people make decisions they believe to be right, even if they may be unhealthy ones. Most people do not set out in life to make bad choices. Most people believe they are good and moral. If you find you are trapped in regret, know that you don’t have to live there. While there may always be some level of pain, and you find that you may need to walk a path of healing, that doesn’t mean that you should live in misery. I implore you to allow yourself happiness. It is yet another choice that we are offered in life. And it is our life to do with it what we choose. Don’t let the regret of the past determine the course of your future. Learn from your mistakes, make different choices, and move on. ~Lindsay Arielle Lindsay is a guest blogger for Considering Adoption. She placed her son for adoption 7 years ago and hopes to use her experience to support and educate other expectant mothers considering adoption, as well as adoptive families.
Transracial adoption describes a situation where a family adopts a child of a different race. The child may already be living in the United States, or a family may travel to another country to adopt their child. The reasons families choose to adopt a child from another ethnic background are varied. Transracial adoption is much more common than it’s been in the past, so parents are no longer concerned about finding a child who “looks like them.” Today’s families are more diverse than ever. With transracial adoption, parents need to be prepared to talk often and openly about diversity. It is important to talk to their children about their cultural heritage, and be prepared for when their children ask questions about their ethnicity. Adoptive families should make a strong effort to educate themselves on their child’s heritage. Sharing this knowledge with their child can help them create a strong sense of self. Here are some ways to help foster a child’s love for their culture:
