There Are Many Ways to Choose Adoption

Are you considering choosing adoption for your baby, but you’re not sure if your situation justifies the decision? Are you worried that you have no support, or too much support to be able to place your baby for adoption? Do you have concerns regarding your age, level of education or your relationship status affecting an appropriate adoption decision? Do you think you can’t choose adoption because your baby isn’t a newborn infant?

Are your individual circumstances preventing you from calling an adoption professional?

These are all legitimate questions for anyone considering adoption to have. The answer to these questions may seem simple and perhaps surprising:

You can choose to look at the option of adoption for your baby regardless of your circumstances.

Of course, it is best to take the first brave step of speaking with an adoption professional about your adoption inquiry. An adoption professional will not only walk you through the steps of the adoption process but will also be sure to inform you of any special considerations for your situation.

It might take some courage to pick up the phone and call, but you can do it!

My Personal Adoption Situation

I was a single mother. I was a lonely mother. I was a fierce mother.

I was finishing up my undergraduate studies when I found out I was pregnant. I had every intention to raise my baby on my own with a few people who promised to help support me while I worked after graduation. I was going to be a wonderful mother and provide for my baby, no matter what sacrifices it took or what challenges came my way. I was determined to raise this baby.

I remember finishing up my last undergraduate courses in the blistering heat of summer and eight months pregnant. I was mentally exhausted, physically drained, but still had a fierce heart determination to provide my baby the best life I possibly could.

Fast forward six months: I was parenting an infant on my own, breastfeeding and working full-time. It was all too much for me.

Reality Sets In

I was only getting about four hours of sleep per night. Those promises of support faded away into the breeze as the reality of helping take care of an infant came to the surface.

I began working in an entry level full-time position upon completion of my undergraduate degree. I hired a nanny to care for my son while I was at work. The commute from my home to the nanny’s and to work twice a day took hours of my limited time. Breastfeeding required regular pumping and midnight feedings. While my new career position paid well for an entry-level job, I still couldn’t make ends meet with the expenses of a newborn on my own. The birth father hadn’t been in the picture since around his initial contribution.

The circumstances I found myself in quickly took a significant toll on me.

I had pictured this life I would have as a mother, and no matter what, I couldn’t take care of myself well enough to take care of my child. After five months of parenting and a very rough evening with my infant son, it hit me like a lightning bolt: It was time to consider adoption.

My mind swarmed with what seemed like a million questions, all adding up to the big one: Could I choose adoption for my baby considering my personal circumstances?

It took an intense amount of courage to pick up the phone and call an adoption professional, but I thank God every day the answer to my questions was, “Yes, you can choose adoption for your baby.”

Your Individual Adoption Circumstances

There are many women who can choose adoption for their babies regardless of their circumstances. Some of the demographics of birth mothers include women who:

• Have the birth father in their child’s life
• Don’t have the birth father in the child’s life
• Are single
• Are in a relationship
• Have an older child
• Have multiple children
• Have an education
• Don’t have an education
• Live paycheck to paycheck
• Have a lot of support
• Have almost no support, etc.

The list goes on and on. No matter what your situation and demographics are, you have the option of considering adoption.

Speak With an Adoption Professional

It is always best to speak with an adoption professional regarding any questions you may have about adoption being a realistic option for you. Reach out to (800) ADOPTION and an adoption professional can discuss the adoption process with you and answer any questions you might have about your individual needs for adoption.

It is also important to remember that you decide your own adoption journey. If you are uncomfortable with anything you are being asked to do, don’t do it. It is very important to have an adoption professional that you trust.

You are in control of choosing your options, including and most importantly, who will adopt your baby, whether your adoption will be open, semi-open or closed and who your adoption agency will be. These are all some of the choices you get to make when you take your very own adoption journey.

I encourage you to educate yourself on your choice for adoption, and to be empowered in that decision. No one can make the choice for you. There is no such thing as a bad question, only a question that you don’t ask won’t get an answer. Take all your questions to an adoption professional that you trust and be reassured that you won’t be on this journey alone!

– Lindsay Arielle

Lindsay Arielle is a guest blogger for Considering Adoption. She placed her son for adoption more than a decade ago. Over the years, Lindsay has chronicled her post-placement healing walk via her writing to share her experience, strength and hope with other birth mothers on their own paths of healing. Lindsay’s blogs boldly reflect that, “Healing is a journey, not a destination.”