Approaching Mother’s Day When You’re Still Waiting
Waiting for anything can be irritating. I cannot think of anything in our society today where waiting is a joyful experience. The suffering before the satisfaction makes waiting one of the most arduous paths, and getting through it requires nothing but time. The thought of time slipping away in anticipation of what is to come can have a maddening effect. The emotions that come with waiting may begin with a hopeful disposition, but so many times, the wait eventually starts to feel like a slow deflation of our heart. This could not be truer than of the time spent waiting to become a mother. No matter the method being sought, becoming a mother doesn’t just happen overnight, and for some, it doesn’t happen in nine months. So, as you approach this day in May that you have dreamed of celebrating for so long, but today you still dread its approach, take time to air out the emotions of the wait. For some women, becoming a mom is something they have envisioned for themselves since playing “house” with their baby dolls as young girls. We can agree that no matter how many years have come and gone since you first dreamed of fulfilling this role, the emotions will always be raw as this holiday approaches. Take time to acknowledge your own emotions so that your reflection can be impactful. Waiting to become a mother can be a road of torment and uncertainty for something you have never wanted more. Mother’s Day can be a painful reminder of what you don’t have but long so deeply for. Some experience anxiety as May approaches, thinking another year has come and gone on their journey to motherhood. Their apprehension stems from thoughts of failure or feeling helpless in their situation. Anger finds its way into our mood on more occasions than we’d like to admit. Jealousy creeps in and feels like it’s out of our control. The physical symptoms of waiting and worry are all too real, as well. Lack of sleep, too much sleep, headaches, no appetite, and the real feeling that your heart aches are all fleshly reminders of the nothing that’s going on. What are your emotions? How does the waiting affect you today? Have you talked to anyone about your own journey to motherhood? We are all different, and each mother claimed that title in her own way. Know that many of the women you are seeing as joyous mothers around you now have been in your shoes. Many who may seem to have come to motherhood so easily may be the very women who suffered for years with infertility or waited through countless times of being turned down for adoption only to finally have been blessed with the title, “mom.” Approaching Mother’s Day this year may invoke some of these emotions more fiercely than a normal day in wait. That’s ok. No one claimed that waiting, doing nothing, letting go of control was easy. Some days it’s excruciating. But the lessons we learn in the waiting can be paramount to shaping who we will become as a mom. The day will come. It will almost never come how we planned it, but your days of waiting will be given a new perspective one day. Pray today that in your wait you will be strengthened, so that you can someday help someone else in whose shoes you have walked.
—Jill is a 32-year-old wife and mom. She has been married to her husband, Brannon, for eight years and has 5-year-old and 1-year-old daughters. Jill and her husband are currently in the adoption process to bring another baby into their home. Jill lives in a small community in Kentucky. She has her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Spanish and obtained her Master’s degree in Christian Ministries. Jill’s passions are her faith, her family, writing, playing sports, and eating good food.