On Thursday, Alaska lawmaker Les Gara spoke out on the pressing issue of an underfunded foster care system. Currently, there are as many as 2,800 Alaska children in need of homes, and an estimated 1,400 licensed homes. Gara implores Alaska families to consider opening their doors to these children, who age out of the foster care system at eighteen. Individuals who age out of foster care run a greater risk of discontinuing their education or becoming homeless. To combat the issue, Gara calls upon the citizens of Alaska for help: “We need foster parents badly, we need adoptive parents badly.” Alaska families who wish to become foster parents can contact the Alaska Center for Resource Families. References:
In 2013, Michigan-based adoption agency Bethany Christian Services launched the Bamboo Project to find homes for Chinese children with Down Syndrome. The effort began when adoptive mother Desiree White began her journey to adopt her son, Isaac. White always knew she wanted to adopt a child with Down Syndrome, but doing so in China was a fairly unprecedented move, as the Chinese government considered children like Isaac to be “unadoptable.” Soon after the success of Isaac’s adoption, the Bamboo project was able to receive the adoption files of 14 more children like him, 10 of whom have been adopted. Currently, they are making efforts to find forever families for over 40 children. References:
The South African 40-year-old Charlize Theron, known most recently as Imperator Furiosa in Mad Max: Fury Road, is one of many celebrities to adopt domestically – and one of many women to adopt as a single mother. In 2012, Theron adopted an African American baby boy and named him Jackson. She always wanted to adopt a baby, even if it meant as a single mom. “Why not? I’m open to anything in life,” Theron told Australia’s Madison Magazine. Theron’s decision to adopt a baby wasn’t one she made overnight, as her mother recently reminded her of a letter she wrote as a child: “Would you please take me to an orphanage, so that I can go and adopt a baby?” it read. “I always knew I would adopt. Always.” And even though she is a single mother, following the ending of her long-term relationship with Stuart Townsend, Jackson wasn’t necessarily an only child. “From the moment this baby come into our home, (our) two dogs have never been more in love,” Theron told Us Magazine. “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed. Theron shared that her pitbull, “Blue,” even wakes up for every feeding and diaper change. Adopting baby Jackson wasn’t an overnight process, as many people believe is possible for celebrities. Theron waited nearly two years to complete the adoption process, but it was all worth it once she finally held Jackson for the first time. Theron recalled her mother telling her: “You know, it took me nine months to fall in love with you while you were growing in my stomach, and it took you two years to fall in love with this little baby.” “It took two years of waiting, and then one day, it’s finally there, and it feels exactly how it’s supposed to feel,” Theron said. “I don’t know how to describe it. It just feels right.” In 2015, Theron was ready to adopt again, and she welcomed a little girl into her family, who she named August. Her second adoption did not take as long as the first, the whole process lasting around six months. Today, they are a happy family of three (plus the pooches), and Theron serves as a model for single parents and adoptive mothers. References:
January 14, 2016: The Department of State (Department) and the Department of Homeland Security, U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) wish to advise U.S. prospective adoptive parents, adoptive parents, and adoption service providers of a new transition case deadline established by the Haitian Central Authority, L’Institut du Bien-Etre Social et de Recherches (IBESR). IBESR will cease accepting dossiers for U.S. transition cases on February 12, 2016. We strongly advise U.S. families who have an eligible transition case and have not yet filed their transition dossier with IBESR to file their dossier with IBESR before the February 12 deadline if they want to continue as a transition case. The Department and USCIS remind U.S. prospective adoptive parents that IBESR may not be able to match all eligible prospective adoptive parents who applied using the transition process with a Haitian child before April 1, 2016. We will share additional information as it becomes available for families who are unable to obtain a match from IBESR and meet the transition case criteria. The Department also alerts prospective adoptive parents residing in or traveling to Haiti to exercise caution and remain abreast of the security situation throughout the current electoral period. The Haitian government has rescheduled the final round of elections for January 24, 2016. Please see the Department’s Travel Alert for more information. (Update Courtesy of USCIS.)
Carlie felt strongly about the benefits of breastfeeding; she had seen firsthand the health benefits and bonding experience facilitated by breastfeeding with her biological son, Jalen. So when her daughter, Hallie, was born in 2010, Carlie was determined to do it again — this time, as an adoptive mom. Breastfeeding an adopted baby is possible and increasingly common. Below, Carlie shares her personal experience with adoptive breastfeeding and gives advice to other adoptive mothers who are interested in nursing their new babies.
When we first decided to adopt, I had heard about donated breastmilk but didn’t know much about it. At the time, my sister-in-law had a newborn baby, and she invited me to go to a local La Leche League meeting with her. Going to that meeting introduced me to donated breastmilk, but also to adoptive breastfeeding. I was intrigued, so I looked further into it. Luckily, the woman who ran the La Leche League meeting was able to direct me to Ask Lenore’s protocol for inducing lactation. I printed out the protocol and took it to my OB. He didn’t know much about it at first, but he was supportive and helped me get started.
My doctor started me on a specific birth control recommended by the protocol. It kind of mimics pregnancy and gets your hormones and breast tissue ready for when the baby comes. As soon as we knew the baby was coming, I stopped the birth control. I started two different herbs and a medication that is safe to take for breastfeeding mothers — the only side effect is breastmilk production. I started pumping while taking the medication. I got nothing at first, but slowly over time, I started to get milk. At the same time, I got this thing called a Supplemental Nursing System (SNS). It’s a little container you pour the milk in, and it’s got these two teeny tubes that come out of it. You tape the tube where your nipple is, and it releases milk for the baby. You use the SNS because at first, you don’t have enough milk to sustain the baby. The SNS helps get them to the breast and get them used to nursing. On top of all that, we had also worked with a direct donor to get donated breastmilk. There are tons of mothers out there who are breastfeeding their children and have an abundant supply. They donate it out of the kindness of their hearts because they know how important breastmilk is and they want to provide for another baby. These women who donate are feeding their own babies this milk, so you can feel safe giving it to your baby. You can also always ask for a health background from your donor. Thanks to our donors, we had a deep freeze full of breastmilk before we even got our daughter! I would fill the SNS with the donated breastmilk and continue pumping until I built my supply up. I did that for two and a half months — nursed her, used the SNS, gave her donated breastmilk and continued pumping.
My daughter never had a drop of formula — she’s only had breastmilk. It’s just awesome. She’s so healthy, and I know a big part of it is because she was fed breastmilk. I also think it’s important with adopted babies to facilitate that bond between the mother and the baby. She and I are so close, and we always have been. I would love for more adoptive mothers to know they can do this, and to also know about donated breastmilk.
By far, I would say the bond and the health reasons are the biggest benefits. The bond is number one. Naturally, it’s what all babies want, adopted or not — to be close to their mothers. Depending on how much milk you produce, you could also say convenience is a benefit. Breastfeeding is so much more convenient than formula! Also, any mom can nurse using the SNS, which I think is huge. If a mom’s committed to using the SNS, she can breastfeed a baby and still be giving it formula, if she’s not open to donated breastmilk. The baby will still get a major bond, and it’s awesome.
At about 2.5 months old, we were still using the SNS, but it wasn’t the most convenient thing. I didn’t want to use it out in public — I had to be completely exposed, taping the tubes, and it just wasn’t convenient. I started giving her a bottle of breastmilk while out in public, but the flow rate in the bottle is much faster than the flow rate of breastfeeding, and she got what’s called nipple confusion. Babies who have had bottles get confused when you try to nurse them, because it’s not coming out as fast as they would like. I was bummed, but I stopped nursing her at that time. We continued to give her the bottle of breastmilk and I continued pumping about 12 ounces a day until she was 20 months old.
It was definitely a learning process for me. I knew nothing about it before I started. It was hard work, but I would definitely do it again. For me, the benefits way outweigh the challenges, and I believe that it was so worth it.
You really have to be determined — and I think the same goes for any mom who wants to breastfeed. There are going to be bumps in the road. Some women have pain, some aren’t producing enough, and many women give up because they think “I just can’t do it.” But if you’re determined and if you get through those bumps in the road, you can do it. A lot of people have no idea that you can breastfeed an adopted baby. I had never thought about adoptive breastfeeding or donated breastmilk until I had my daughter. So I think it would be really awesome to get the word out there. Please read the following for more information about breastfeeding an adopted baby.
On Wednesday, the Indiana Senate Judiciary committee made a unanimous decision to advance a bill that would potentially allow access to closed adoption records. Currently, adoptees born in 1994 or later can access their records, but records for adoptions between 1941 and 1993 have remained closed to protect the privacy of birth mothers. If passed, the new bill would give them the choice to allow or deny contact with their children, or allow only a certain degree of contact. The bill would go into effect in 2018. This is a big step for adoptees involved in closed adoptions, as it could give them access to crucial medical information and their original birth certificates. Birth mothers who want to keep their adoptions closed would also be able to maintain their privacy if they wished. The bill is now moving forward into the full Senate. Read more:
Most of the world knows the Steve Jobs whose unprecedented contributions have shaped modern technology. However, only a select few know the Steve Jobs whose adoption story seemed to inspire him throughout his life and career. In 1955, Jobs was born to Joanne Schieble and Abdulfattah “John” Jandali. Schieble traveled from Wisconsin to San Francisco for the delivery, where a doctor assisted women with arranging closed adoptions. Jobs was originally set to be adopted by two lawyers, but when they learned the baby was a boy, they backed out for another opportunity to adopt a girl. Paul and Clara Jobs, who struggled with infertility, were next in line and jumped at the opportunity to adopt a baby boy. According to Walter Isaacson, author of Steve Jobs, Jobs’ childhood was normal. He’d work with his father on cars, the fence around their house, and many other projects. And he knew he was adopted and was comfortable with it. That is until a young girl asked him a question that may have planted a seed for the growth of something exceptional. Jobs recalled that day to Isaacson: “I remember right here on my lawn, telling Lisa McMoylar from across the street that I was adopted. And she said, ‘So does that mean your real parents didn’t want you?’ “Ooooh, lightning bolts went off in my head. I remember running into the house, I think I was like crying, asking my parents. And they sat me down and they said, ‘No, you don’t understand. We specifically picked you out.’” Jobs’ independence and motivation for greatness was infamous. The fact that he was abandoned, and then chosen, and then made special seemed to fuel him. A friend of Jobs, Greg Calhoun, told Isaacson: “Steve talked to me a lot about being abandoned and the pain it caused. It made him independent. He followed the beat of a different drummer, and that came from being in a different world than he was born into.” Friends of Jobs note that the pain that he continued to feel throughout his life could be seen by some of the journeys he would pursue. One pursuit included a seven-month trip to India while in his 20s, where he became a practicing member of Buddhism. He returned home a changed man in many ways, but Jobs has said he never felt “abandoned.” “There’s some notion that because I was abandoned, I worked very hard so I could do well and make my parents wish they had me back, or some such nonsense, but that’s ridiculous,” Jobs said. “Knowing I was adopted may have made me feel more independent, but I have never felt abandoned. I’ve always felt special. My parents made me feel special. They were my parents 1,000 percent.” If Jobs remained with his birth parents in Wisconsin, who weren’t ready to have a child, would his brilliance still be felt around the world? Perhaps, but what is known for sure is his adoption story is yet another example of how a young woman’s decision to place her child for adoption made the world a better place.
It’s no surprise at all that the man behind the mouse ears, the princesses and The Happiest Place on Earth was a fun-loving father who enjoyed spending time with his family. However, many people are shocked to learn that Walt and Lillian Disney’s second daughter, Sharon Mae Disney, was adopted as an infant. Lillian reportedly suffered several miscarriages before and after the birth of their eldest daughter, Diane Marie Disney, in 1933. The Disneys were advised not to attempt pregnancy again, but the couple desperately wanted more children, so they turned to adoption. Sharon was born on December 21, 1936 and was adopted by the Disneys around two weeks later. The Disneys were reportedly open about the adoption with family but preferred to keep the information out of the press. The reason? In his biography about Disney, How to be Like Walt: Capturing the Disney Magic Every Day of Your Life, Pat Williams states that the Disneys didn’t want Sharon to be referred to as “the adopted daughter of Walt Disney.” The Disneys were completely enamored with their daughter, and they didn’t want her to grow up feeling as though she wasn’t a part of their family.
At the time of Sharon’s birth, adoption was often viewed as somewhat taboo, and outsiders perceived adopted children as illegitimate or strange. A great emphasis was placed on lineage, and adopting a child was considered an unnatural act because it did not extend your familial blood line. Subsequently, there were very few couples willing to adopt – and those who did, like the Disneys, preferred to keep the adoptions quiet to protect their children from ridicule. Fortunately, perceptions and laws have changed to be more accepting of adoption. Adopted children today are seen as no different from their non-adopted counterparts. They are not seen as social outcasts and they are happily – and legally – accepted into their adoptive families and the surrounding communities. The positive portrayal of adoption in movies has no doubt contributed to this growing acceptance and understanding. As Walt Disney was an adoptive parent himself, it’s only natural that his company has produced several movies over the years that have featured adoption, such as:
For the Disneys, it wasn’t shame that caused them to hide the adoption of their daughter; it was the desire to protect her from a world that wasn’t ready to accept her. What the Disneys knew that most of society didn’t was that love, not blood, makes a family.
Sometimes, women in your position will be in the middle of an adoption plan when they change their minds and decide to parent their child. In many cases, this can happen after a woman has already selected an adoptive family, or even when she is in the hospital. This is known as an adoption disruption, and it is also referred to as a “failed adoption.” The phrase itself has blame written all over it: if an adoption has failed because the mother decided to parent, then the mother has failed. While an adoption disruption can be emotional and disappointing, it is not a failure. This is not an argument over semantics, but a crucial reminder to prospective birth mothers that they are always in control of their adoption plan. It doesn’t matter how far in your pregnancy or adoption plan you are; until your rights are terminated, you always have the right to change your mind.
You can’t always predict when or if you’re going to decide to ultimately parent your child. Sometimes, circumstances change later in a pregnancy, and women find that they’re in a situation where parenting is possible. Sometimes, they see their baby after giving birth and realize that they simply can’t part ways. Adoption professionals do their best to make sure that you are committed to adoption, but they can’t eliminate these occurrences completely; the emotions surrounding pregnancy and adoption are simply too complex. Your decision to choose adoption or parenting should not be about guilt. It should not be about making the adoptive family or a significant other happy. It should be about what’s best for the baby – and in the end, you are the one who knows what’s best.
Parenting may be the best choice for you and your child, but your decision may also be emotional for the adoptive family you’ve chosen, and possibly your own family. Communicating with the other people involved in your decision can make the situation easier for everyone.
An adoption disruption can be very upsetting for an adoptive family. When talking to them, keep some of the following in mind:
Your family and friends, even if they are supportive of your decisions, might be caught off guard by your change in plans. When you are talking to your loved ones:
If the father of the baby is involved in your life, then letting him know your intentions is important, too. Whether or not he is supportive of your choice will affect how you handle the situation.
When adoption disruptions occur and expecting women start to hear the phrase “failed adoption,” it is all too easy to them to start thinking: “Does that make me a failure?” The answer is a resounding no. Feelings of guilt or obligation should never hold you back from a decision that you feel is right for you and your child. If you want to raise your child, then you have the right to make that choice, even if it’s late in an adoption plan. You have not failed your adoption; you’ve simply chosen a new option.
At the beginning of a new year, many people set goals for various areas of their lives: health and fitness, friends and family and work-life balance are just a few of them. For adoptive families, adoption is a lifelong journey and another aspect of life that requires ongoing attention and commitment. As you begin the new year, consider setting adoption goals and making adoption a priority in your life. Here are some resolution ideas to help you get started: 1. Make adoption a frequent topic of conversation – Weaving adoption into everyday conversations at home is a great way to promote a positive view of adoption and acknowledge the beautiful way your family was created. There are many ways to incorporate adoption into family conversations and activities. This year, make it a goal to mention adoption once a week at family dinners or have a monthly adoption movie night. 2. Get involved in the adoption community – From adoption support groups to online forums to networking events, there are many ways to connect with other adoptive families. Ask your adoption professional about upcoming events in your area, and consult local adoption groups and resources to share advice, receive support, learn more about adoption and make new friendships. 3. Spread adoption awareness – If you are interested in becoming a more active supporter of adoption, the new year is a great time to start. There are countless ways to educate others about adoption. Begin by talking with friends and family about your experiences, and see some of our ideas for spreading adoption awareness. 4. Honor your child’s birth family – Whether you have an open, semi-open or closed adoption, make it a point to continue honoring your child’s birth parents this year. If you have an open or semi-open adoption, resolve to keep your child’s birth parents informed of special milestones, achievements and events. Depending on the level of openness and everyone’s comfort level, consider planning a visit or simply making more frequent contact. Even in closed adoption arrangements, you can make your child’s birth family an important part of your new year by talking with your child about his or her adoption story and reminding them of their birth parents’ love and sacrifice. As an adoptive family, adoption will continue to shape your lives in the coming year. What are some of your goals as you continue your adoption journey?
