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How Will My Child Know that I Love Him or Her?

The choice to place a baby for adoption is one made out of deep, unconditional love — it is a brave and selfless sacrifice that you make so that you can give your child the best life possible. It can be scary to know that once your baby is placed with his or her adoptive parents, you won’t always be there to remind him or her of that every day.

While you may not get to talk to your baby or hold them every day, there are plenty of ways to let your child know how much you love them and how much they mean to you. Here are some ways to ensure your child feels your love long after they’ve been placed with their adoptive family:

  • Talk with the adoptive parents – As you get to know prospective adoptive parents, ask them how they plan to talk with your child about adoption. Will they tell your child that you chose adoption out of love? Let them know that it’s important to you that they assure your child that you love and care about them very much.
  • Stay involved in the child’s life – You will have the opportunity to choose how much contact you’d like to share with the adoptive family post-placement. In an open or semi-open adoption, you will have the opportunity to maintain a relationship with your child and his or her adoptive family. You may exchange pictures and letters, phone calls and emails, or even visit each other. Staying in touch with your child’s family can give you the opportunity to tell him or her in your own words how much you love them.
  • Film a video or record your voice – Consider recording yourself reading a book or giving a special message for the adoptive parents to play for your child. Audio or video files allow your child to see and hear the sincerity in your voice as you tell them how much you care about them.
  • Give a special gift -When a baby is born, many birth parents give them a special gift that they can cherish forever. A keepsake book full of heartfelt messages and photos, a special stuffed animal or blanket, a book with a special message or a piece of jewelry can all serve as symbols of your love. A gift you give your child at birth can serve as a constant reminder of the loving and selfless decision you made.

It is important to remember that most adopted children grow up knowing that your choice was the ultimate act of love, and that your love is the root of their adoption story. These simple gestures are often the only reminder a child needs to understand the immeasurable love you have for them.