Adoption is a brave, loving and selfless choice — but you may worry that the child you place for adoption won’t understand that. Many women considering adoption worry that the baby they place for adoption will have negative feelings or resent their birth parents for their adoption decision.
In reality, more than 90 percent of adopted children age 5 and older have positive feelings about their adoption. Because today’s adoptions are more open than ever before and allow birth mothers more control throughout the process, most adopted children are now raised to understand their birth parents’ unconditional love and selfless choice. As a result, adoptees tend to think highly of the courageous people who gave them a chance at a better life.
Today, 95 percent of adoptions involve some level of openness, or ongoing contact between the birth parents and adoptive family, and almost all adopted children are aware of their adoption story. This increase in openness has had a positive impact on all members of the adoption triad — women who place their children for adoption report an increased peace of mind, less grief and less worry. Receiving pictures and letters from the adoptive family can reassure you that you made the right choice and your child is growing up healthy and happy.
Adopted people also benefit. Having a healthy relationship with their birth parents can help improve children’s sense of identity and self-confidence. They can get answers to their questions and be reassured of their birth parents’ love and reasons for choosing adoption.
Adoption professionals now strongly encourage adoptive parents to talk about adoption with their children early on and assure them that they were placed for adoption out of love. Experts agree that adoptive parents should do their best to create a positive image of adoption, and as a result, most adopted children grow up with a deep appreciation and respect for their birth parents.
By choosing adoption for your child, you are doing what all great parents do — providing a wonderful home, a stable and caring family, and every possible advantage and opportunity for your child. With the proper guidance and support, your child will understand that and will love and appreciate you for making that choice.