And Why “Giving Baby Up” for Adoption isn’t Giving Up
“I need to find out how to place my baby for adoption in Missouri. Where do I start?”
Right here. We’ve got all the information you need to make a confident and thoughtful decision.
First, we want to touch on the “giving baby up” for adoption language that you’ve probably heard or have used. We ourselves often use this language when talking about adoption, because it’s what most people are accustomed to hearing.
However, we don’t prefer the phrase “giving up,” because it shifts blame to pregnant parents who are trying to do the best thing possible for their child in a difficult situation. If you’re considering placing your child for adoption in Missouri, you are in no way “giving up” on your baby. You’re making an incredibly difficult choice that you feel will give your child the best possible life.
With that in mind, please remember that despite these commonly used phrases, you are doing everything in your power to make a hard, well-informed choice. We’re here to help.
Step 1: Decide If Adoption Is Right for You
Before we go further into how to “give your baby up” for adoption in Missouri, you first need to decide if this is the right path for you. Adoption isn’t for everyone. Here are a few questions to ask yourself that may help you determine whether or not it’s right for you:
- Are you in a physical, mental, emotional and financial position to raise this baby right now? Are you struggling to raise other children? If you’re not sure that you’re in the best position to parent this baby, placing your baby with parents who are in that position may be the right choice for your family.
- Do you have a supportive partner to help you parent? Many women are wonderful single parents, but not all women want to be single moms. Some women prefer to give their child a two-parent home through adoption.
- Many people are confident that adoption is the right choice for them and their children. But that doesn’t make it easy! Your adoption specialist will always be there for you, but do you have other people in your life who will support and love you through this emotional process?
If you think that placing your baby for adoption in Missouri might be the right choice for you, then it’s time to move on to the next step.
Step 2: Work with a Professional to Create Your Personal Adoption Plan
If you’re considering “giving a baby up” for adoption in Missouri, you’ll need to choose and contact a reputable Missouri adoption professional.
Then, through that professional, you’ll create an “adoption plan.” This plan outlines your preferences and ensures that you are always in control. You’ll be asked to make choices about:
- The parents you’d like your baby to have
- How much you’d like to communicate with your chosen adoptive family before, during and after the adoption
- How you’d like your hospital stay to go
- And more
At this point, your adoption professional can also help you get any medical, financial and legal help you might need. An adoption agency can help you secure free:
- Pre- and post-natal medical and delivery care
- Help with housing, bills, groceries and other essentials
- Guidance with finding and choosing the adoptive parents you’re envisioning for your baby
- Legal counsel
- Access to pregnancy- and adoption-related services
- Counseling and support before, during and after the adoption
Here are some licensed Missouri adoption agencies who can help you create your adoption plan and show you how to go about “giving your baby up” for adoption in Missouri safely and legally:
Step 3: Find an Adoptive Family in Missouri (or Another State)
Your adoption professional will have profiles of waiting adoptive parents who have already been carefully screened and approved as safe and ready to adopt. We do not recommend trying to find an adoptive family online or on your own, because those families may not have been screened for safety.
Through an adoption professional, you’ll also be able to search for the type of family you’ve been picturing for your baby. You’ll be able to specify the type of parents you want for your child, whether or not they live in the state of Missouri, their religious beliefs and more. Then, you can view profiles of waiting families who match that description.
Once you’ve found the family you feel is perfect for your baby, you’ll be able to get to know them more.
Step 4: Get to Know the Adoptive Family
Most parents placing a baby for adoption in Missouri choose to share some amount of contact and openness with the adoptive parents, and with their child in the years to come. You can start building this relationship early on.
You can talk to the adoptive family you’ve chosen and get to know them a bit better. Your adoption professional will help with introductions and those first few conversations to put you all at ease. Then, you can mutually decide on how much you’d like to stay in touch — now and in the future.
The type of relationships and contact you’d like to share with your child and his or her adoptive parents is entirely up to you.
Step 5: Prepare Your Hospital Plan
All pregnant women will want to have some type of birth or hospital plan. This plan outlines your preferences regarding your time in the hospital. You’ll be asked to consider:
- Your delivery preferences
- Who you’d like to have with you in the delivery room for support
- Whether or not you’d like to have the adoptive parents there with you, and to what extent
- Who holds your baby after he or she is born, and when
- If there’s anything you’d like to do to mark this important day, like taking a photo with your baby and his or her adoptive parents, putting your baby in a particular outfit, or giving his or her parents some kind of keepsake
Your adoption professional will help you establish that hospital plan, a copy of which will be given to your preferred hospital. It’s important that you feel comfortable and supported during your time in the hospital.
Step 6: Post-Placement Contact
Again, you’re in charge of deciding how much contact you’d like to share with your baby’s parents and with your child — now and in the years to come. Most birth parents choose to have an open adoption, which research shows to be greatly beneficial to children.
Many birth and adoptive families have a close bond and consider each other as extended family. Others prefer to have more distance in their adoptions, and only communicate occasionally. You’ll all be able to decide what works best in your post-adoption lives, based on comfort levels and needs.
If you do decide to have an open or semi-open adoption, you and the adoptive family can decide what that looks like in your individual situation. For you, that could mean:
- Receiving photos and letter updates regularly
- Checking in with one another via text or emails
- Phone or video calls at special events or holidays
- In-person visits
- And more
In modern adoptions, placing a baby for adoption does not mean saying “goodbye” forever!
Common Questions about Giving a Baby Up for Adoption in Missouri
We understand that you probably have a lot of questions about how to “give a baby up” for adoption in Missouri and what that may be like for you. We’ve compiled some of the most frequently asked questions about how to place a baby for adoption in Missouri, asked by pregnant women who have been in your shoes.
How can I give my baby up for adoption in Missouri safely?
Work with an experienced and licensed adoption professional. They’ll be able to answer any questions you have, walk you through the process and outline all your choices along the way, help you to connect with screened and approved adoptive parents that match what you’re looking for, and then guide you through adoption laws in Missouri.
In Missouri, when can you put a child up for adoption?
In Missouri, you’ll need to wait at least 48 hours after giving birth before you can give your legal consent to the adoption, but you can start making an adoption plan and choosing a family at any point before that.
Who can help me place my baby for adoption in Missouri?
You’ll need to work with an experienced professional that is licensed to complete child placements in Missouri.
We recommend contacting an adoption agency, but you may also want or need to work with an adoption attorney to ensure that your rights are protected throughout the process. Many adoption agencies will connect you to an attorney for free, so you don’t have to worry about finding a lawyer on your own.
I’m planning on giving up my baby — but will I be able to choose his or her parents?
Absolutely. You always have the right to choose and get to know your child’s future family when you’re putting baby up for adoption. You can even start viewing profiles of waiting parents here.
I need to give my baby up for adoption, but can I stay in touch with my child and his or her family?
Yes! Today, 95% of birth parents choose to have an open or semi-open adoption. This means that you can continue to stay in touch with your child and the adoptive family after “giving your baby up” for adoption in Missouri.
Have more questions about how to put a baby up for adoption in Missouri? Contact an adoption professional now to receive free information with no obligation.