If you are considering adoption for your older child, then you may feel a bit overwhelmed. Adoption isn’t an easy choice, but it can be a beautiful one.
Even if you have already raised your child for months or years, adoption may still be an option. Whether you’re considering adoption for financial reasons, a complicated relationship with the baby’s father or another personal hardship, adoption is available to you. When you’re thinking about adoption for your older child, be sure to familiarize yourself with the information below to make your adoption process as smooth and stress-free as possible.
If you do decide on this path, it is important to know that you are not “giving a child up for adoption.” Although people who say this likely don’t mean any harm, this phrase completely misses the point. You’re not “giving up” when you choose adoption. You’re giving your child a life of love and opportunity. It’s a brave, loving and selfless decision made with your child’s best interests at heart.
In the meantime, learn more about placing an older child for adoption below. If you have any questions, then don’t hesitate to get free information now by filling out our online contact form.
What to Know about How to Place an Older Child up for Adoption
If you’re considering putting an older child up for adoption, then it’s clear that you have their best interests at heart. You may be currently unable to provide the life you want for your child, and you’re willing to make a sacrifice to ensure that they get the best life possible.
Will adoption provide the best life for your child? It depends on your unique circumstances.
When you’re considering adoption, you should know that there are several benefits available to you. Here are some of the things that can be helpful to know:
- You can select your child’s adoptive family to give your child the life you want for them.
- You can maintain contact with your child and their adoptive family through open or semi-open adoption.
- You‘ll have complete control over your adoption journey from start to finish.
- The adoption process is completely free for prospective birth mothers.
- You can get free, 24/7 counseling to help you through this life-changing choice.
But, there are also some challenges when placing an older child for adoption. Here’s what you can consider:
- Most private adoption professionals specialize in domestic infant adoption and don’t place children above age 4. If your older child is part of a sibling group, though, then an adoption agency may be able to help you find an adoptive family that will take them and their sibling/s.
- When putting an older child up for adoption, it’s crucial to take factors such as the child’s medical history, who has had primary custody, the involvement of the birth father and more into consideration. These facets are remarkably important, as they play a role in forming an adoption plan and finding the right adoptive family for your child.
- Placing an older child for adoption can lead to a more difficult transition for the child than it would be if they were younger. This is because they already have a life, and adoption would entail a completely new one. As a result, this may require specialized counseling, education and training.
- Placing an older child for adoption can also lead to a more difficult transition for you. That may be hard to see now, because parenting feels like the hardest thing in the world. But, you shouldn’t overlook the significant attachment you have with your child at this age, even though it has not been easy.
But, even though there are certain difficulties associated with “giving up” an older child for adoption, it is still possible in some situations. If you’re considering adoption for your older child, then there are some safety precautions to bear in mind:
- Never search for an adoptive family without a professional. Be sure to use only licensed adoption professionals when searching for adoptive families for your child. Trying to find a family without one is dangerous, and it could be considered child trafficking. You could accidentally be getting your child (and yourself) into danger.
- Avoid adoption facilitators. These are unregulated, unlicensed companies that match prospective birth parents with hopeful adoptive families. They’re typically small organizations with one or two staff members who have no experience in the field. Adoption facilitators are illegal in several states because of their predatory practices.
- You can mediate your conversation with the birth father. If you have a complicated relationship with the baby’s birth father, then some adoption agencies can inform the birth father of your adoption plan for you. This is particularly beneficial if you feel that telling the baby’s father yourself could be dangerous or overly stressful.
- Do not abandon your child. This is child abandonment and is punishable by law. Legalities aside, it is also unsafe for your child.
- Report any abuse, either to your child or yourself. If your child’s safety or your own is at risk, then get in touch with emergency services right away. A child welfare professional can help, too, if your child is at risk of abuse.
Alternatives to “Giving Your Older Child up” for Adoption
If you are unable to place your older child up for adoption, then you may benefit from some of the resources listed below:
- Reach out to social services: If you need healthcare, affordable housing, a job or other assistance, then several state-run programs can help you out.
- Consider a temporary guardianship: Instead of permanently terminating your parental rights with adoption finalization, you can assign a temporary guardian. This can give you the break you need, and you will still keep full parental rights of your child.
- Take a short break: A day or two of rest can work wonders. If a friend or a family member is willing to babysit for you, then you can take this time to clear your head and develop a plan to better your circumstances. Every parent gets stressed out, and it’s completely normal to ask for some help. Depending on your situation, you can even look into respite care.
No matter what reasons you have for considering “giving up” an older child for adoption, your child’s safety is your priority. Before pursuing adoption, be sure to contact an adoption professional to learn more about what options are available to you.