There’s no doubt that adoption can be pricey. As a hopeful adoptive parent, you understand the costs of adoption. But, you also know that this path to parenthood is right for you, and it makes the steep price worth it in every way. You’re prepared to pay those costs, but that can be a lot harder when the holiday season approaches. So, how do you save for adoption during the holidays?
For families that are considering adoption, it can be tough to focus on saving up for their dream of parenting while living up to expectations from their family, friends and potentially other kids. That’s why we’re here to help! We have created this comprehensive guide that details how to save for adoption during the holiday season.
Here are some useful tips for staying focused on your adoption priorities while taking care of everyone else:
While you save for adoption during the holidays, one of the first things you can do is create a personal budget. It can also be helpful to break it down further into monthly and annual budgets. Holiday season aside, it is always important to make a detailed list of what you spend every month and go from there.
After you create this budget, you can look over it and think about where you could be spending less. For instance, what are your monthly subscriptions? Do you need them all, or can you cancel some of them, even on a temporary basis? Do you use these services enough to justify their costs? How much do you eat out every month?
Remember to be realistic about your budget. You’ll want to be somewhat strict, but you don’t want to set impossible standards for yourself. You can create your budget with your monthly income and necessary adoption expenses in mind. By sticking to the budget that you’ve outlined, you can save quite a bit for your adoption while remaining loyal to your holiday obligations.
One way that you can cut costs this holiday season is to make homemade gifts. As you may already know, purchasing gifts for all your loved ones at the same time can be pretty taxing on your bank account. Although you might love buying presents for your friends and family, it can be just as meaningful (and even more special) to create something yourself.
When you make a gift for your loved ones, it can feel personal and suited perfectly for them. In fact, they might feel celebrated even more because you created a gift specifically for them. Just as the saying goes, money can’t buy happiness, and that can certainly ring true when it comes to giving gifts.
Now that the holidays are here, you may feel ready to dive straight into buying gifts for everyone. It’s easy to keep adding things to your cart, but think about the price of each item that you pick up. This can be difficult to do during the holiday season, but you’ll need to resist the urge for impulsive gift purchases.
If you feel the urgent need to buy something quickly, then take a moment to consider why you want to buy this as soon as possible. Think about the price and what you could do with that money instead. Think about other, less expensive gifts that you may be able to buy as an alternative.
Another fantastic way to save up for adoption is to start a fundraiser. For example, you can go to a website like GoFundMe to kick-start your adoption fundraiser at any time. Once you tell your friends and family members that you’re pursuing adoption, you can also let them know about your fundraiser. Your loved ones can make some contributions to it as a gift for the holiday season!
Still, you will need to consider the pros and cons of an adoption fundraiser. Just as adoption fundraisers can be helpful, they can also be controversial for some people. Before you start one, be sure to speak with your partner (if applicable) about their thoughts and feelings. If this is the best option for you both, then you can go ahead and start a fundraiser whenever you feel ready.
As we mentioned above, your friends and family members can donate to your adoption fundraiser as a holiday present. Following this line of thought, you can also ask for monetary gifts this holiday season. Although money may not be as fun or exciting as a physical gift, it can be a significant boost toward your adoption funds.
We should clarify, though, that you shouldn’t ask for monetary gifts without specifying that it’s for your adoption. Talk with your friends and family about how meaningful this adoption is to you. Let them know before the holiday season, too, so that they can contribute before buying you a different gift altogether.
Although working with a financial planner comes with its own slew of costs, you may find that these costs ultimately pay themselves off. Talking to a financial planner about your adoption budget can be helpful and insightful. Right before the holiday season starts, consulting with a financial planner can be even more helpful because you can factor gift purchases into your decision-making. They can take a look at your finances and make the best plan of action possible for your adoption during the holidays.
Having some extra income for your adoption is always useful. Though it can be tempting to treat yourself with it, it can be much more helpful to put this money toward the adoption. If you are already used to living off your normal income, then you may be surprised how much you can save toward adoption over time.
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This can be a lot of information to soak in at once. If you have any questions about budgeting for adoption, then you can fill out our online contact form at any time to get the answers you’ve been searching for. We would love to help you whenever you may need us.
As a prospective birth mother, you simply want to find the right adoptive family for your baby. When you choose adoption, you are giving your child a chance at the best life possible. Part of this sacrifice is selecting the perfect adoptive parents, and you may already have someone in mind. For instance, maybe you want to pursue kinship adoption.
In kinship adoption, you place your baby with a trusted family member, hence its name. When you already know who the adoptive parents are, this may seem like the perfect option. You can continue chasing your dreams while seeing your child at family gatherings and other occasions. But, there’s no doubt that this type of adoption can change your family relationships, for better or worse.
To help you make the best decision for yourself and your child, we’ve assembled this list of six ways that kinship can change your family relationships.
Unfortunately, not every family is supportive of adoption. They may be even more averse to a prospective birth mother choosing unrelated adoptive parents. In such a case, you may be able to avoid familial conflict by choosing kinship adoption instead. Still, you should choose only what is best for you, your child and your circumstances.
This is because you are the only person who ultimately knows what is best for both you and your baby. You should never base your adoption journey on someone else’s preferences and opinions. As you consider kinship adoption, think about whether you want to make this decision for yourself or your family. If it’s the latter, then it could cause conflict rather than resolve it.
Although you may already trust the person you want to place your baby with, you can establish an even deeper trust with this family member. You’ll have a close relationship with your child’s adoptive parents before placement, so you might not have as many worries about your child’s safety and well-being. You can feel more assured knowing that your child is growing up happy and healthy with loving parents.
On top of this, you may discover that maintaining post-adoption contact is easier. You can feel more confident knowing that you’ll see your child on a regular basis and watch them grow up firsthand.
It could be beneficial to have adoptive parents you already know, but there could be some tension now and then. For example, you may have some disagreements with the adoptive parents about how to parent the child. Because you will have your own idea of how to raise your child, it could be difficult to accept the adoptive parents’ style.
As a result of these disagreements, this could affect your relationship with not just the adoptive parents but other family members, too. If you all meet at holiday gatherings or birthday parties, then there might be some awkward tension. That’s why it is always important to have conversations with the adoptive parents about reaching a compromise and respecting one another’s opinions about parenting.
Depending on whom you choose as the adoptive parents in a kinship adoption, there can be some role confusion. For instance, maybe you want to choose your own parents as the adoptive family. Or, you could decide on one of your siblings as your child’s adoptive parent. In the first case, this means your child will now be your sibling. In the latter situation, your child would become your niece or nephew.
If this sounds like somewhat of a headache, then that is completely normal. This also speaks to the importance of discussing familial roles before the adoption takes place. As you discuss the adoption with the hopeful adoptive parents, make sure you also talk about how familial roles could shift as a result.
Some prospective birth mothers already have other children. Others may not have kids yet, but they are considering becoming parents in the future. While you contemplate kinship adoption, make sure that you also consider how it could affect your current or future children.
This factors into role confusion, too. If you pursue kinship adoption, then how should your children think of the adoptee? Will they think of them like a sibling, cousin or aunt? On top of this, you may also want to think about how this could affect the adoptee. When they watch you interact with your children, how will that make them feel? The adoption journey is a whirlwind of emotions, to say the least. Kinship adoption can create even higher highs and lower lows from an emotional standpoint.
As we mentioned earlier, it’s possible that not all your family members will support the adoption. Even if you pursue a kinship adoption, there’s a chance that you may face judgment or even hostility from other family members. This can be challenging to experience, but we want you to remember that you should never feel ashamed of choosing what is best for your baby.
It doesn’t matter what others think. Deep down, you should be able to rest easy knowing that you’ve made a brave, heroic sacrifice. Following this line of thought, there is something else that we want to clarify. “Give up a baby for adoption” is one of the most common phrases that people use when they discuss the subject. But, this phrase completely misses the point by using negative adoption language. You are not “giving up” when you choose adoption. Rather, you are giving your child a life of love and opportunity, and that is nothing short of beautiful.
Kinship adoption can be a confusing topic. It can be a lot to wrap your head around. With that being said, you can always get free adoption information now by filling out our online contact form. We would be happy to help you in any way that we can, and we look forward to hearing from you soon!
There’s no doubt that adoption has changed plenty of lives around the globe for the better. Adoptive families, birth parents and adoptees alike have all discovered the joy of adoption, and they have made everlasting family members because of it. It’s what makes the adoption process so beautiful.
As the Thanksgiving season approaches, you may be feeling thankful for all the wonderful things in your life, including adoption. But, how do you even begin showing how thankful you are for adoption? That’s why we’re here to help! To get free adoption information now, you can contact us online at any time. In the meantime, though, we’ve created this list of seven ways to show how grateful you are for adoption.
You’ve been on your own adoption journey, so you know firsthand how difficult this experience can be. Along the way, you found helpful resources and support. Now, it could be time to pay it forward to other hopeful adoptive parents. For instance, you can donate to adoption organizations that offer financial grants. People were there for you when you needed them, and you can be there for others, too.
If you are adoptive parents in a semi-open or open adoption, then you can always reach out to your child’s birth parents and thank them directly. They made a selfless, heroic and brave choice to help you realize your lifelong dreams of parenthood, and that is beautiful. Thanksgiving marks the perfect opportunity to talk to them about how thankful you are for their sacrifice.
You should wait until you believe it’s the right time to tell your child about their adoption. In most cases, though, it’s better to talk about it sooner rather than later. This tells them that adoption is nothing to feel ashamed of, and being open about their story can help them trust you and understand why they were placed for adoption.
Thanksgiving can be a wonderful time to talk to your children about adoption for the first time or even a second or third time. If you’d like, then you could even turn this into a Thanksgiving tradition. It would serve as the perfect reminder of the gratitude you have for your adoption journey and the love you have for your child.
Sadly, adoption can be a stigmatized topic at times. This negative mindset is where the phrase “give a baby up” for adoption stems from, too. In reality, when you choose adoption, you are not “giving up.” As a birth parent, you have given your child a life of love and opportunity. That is nothing short of heroic.
To show how thankful you are for adoption, consider sharing your story with others. This can help break down the stigma and negativity surrounding adoption by showing the good that it can do. In some cases, you can offer encouragement for people who are considering adoption but are still on the fence about it. Your story may be the inspiration that they need.
This also gives others the chance to offer their support for you. Some of your loved ones may not know you’ve placed a baby for adoption, and Thanksgiving could be a great opportunity to enlighten them. But, if you feel uncomfortable doing this, then that is completely OK!
When you pursue open adoption, it is not “goodbye.” Rather, it is simply “see you later.” Thanksgiving could be a great time to reach out to your child and their adoptive family again. Ask them how they’re doing, and express your gratitude to the adoptive parents for providing your child with a happy, loving home.
This also marks a good occasion to be thankful for the prominence of open adoption. Over the past few decades, adoption has changed quite a bit. Closed adoption used to be the standard, and adoptees were often left wondering why they were placed for adoption and who their birth parents were. Popular culture still portrays this form of adoption as the norm, and it’s why television and movies show babies left on the doorstep of a fire station or orphanage. But, these portrayals are far from the truth.
Now, the vast majority of adoptions are open. Depending on the level of openness in your adoption, you can stay in touch with your child in whatever way you feel comfortable. This Thanksgiving, you can reconvene with your child and their adoptive parents and see how your child is growing up happy and healthy.
If you are an adoptee, then you can always talk to your birth or adoptive parents. They have each played an important role in your life in a unique way, and you can tell them how thankful you are for them this Thanksgiving. They’ve both done all that they can to ensure you have the best life possible, and they love you more than anything in the world.
You may have an open adoption, which means now could be a great time to speak with your birth parents. Adoption is by no means an easy or simple journey. But, your adoptive family and your birth parents embarked on that journey because of their immense love for you.
Another way that you can show your thankfulness for adoption is by educating others about it! Few people have the same experience that you do, which means that there is a lot about adoption that people may not know. You can always discuss your adoption experience on social media or in-person with some of your close friends.
Anyone can express their thankfulness for the ways that adoption has changed their lives. This rings true whether you are an adoptive parent, a birth mother or an adoptee. To learn more about how you can show your gratitude for adoption, you can fill out our online contact form now. We would love to hear from you at any time!
As someone who has had a beautiful child through the surrogacy process, you’ve seen firsthand how there are several paths to parenthood. Biology shouldn’t limit people from realizing their lifelong parenting dreams, and surrogacy provides a wonderful route. Now, you’re starting to consider adoption.
So, how does adoption work for a surrogate parent, exactly? To get free adoption information now, you can fill out our online contact form. But, in the meantime, we’re here to help hopeful adoptive parents like you with this insightful guide. Continue reading to get the answers that you’ve been searching for.
When you pursue adoption after surrogacy, you should know that there are both similarities and differences. There are some things that you may already know, but there may also be some components you aren’t aware of. We’re here to explain a handful of key differences so that you know how to prepare for the adoption process.
Having a baby isn’t something that occurs overnight. For the most part, it’s at least a nine-month process. You may have guessed this, but adoption and surrogacy increase those waiting times. As a hopeful adoptive parent, you may be curious about how long those waiting times are.
Just as no two surrogacies are the same, neither are two adoptions. Your waiting time will depend on your own unique experience, so there is no definitive, clear-cut answer that we can give you. But, we can provide you with general estimates so that you know what to expect.
Surrogacy: From a general standpoint, surrogacy takes around one to two years. Still, you may have waited less or more than that in your personal surrogacy journey. You have gone through the surrogacy process yourself, so you might be familiar with terms such as “matching” and “screening.” People who become parents through surrogacy often play a more active role when compared with adoption. But, you have to account for the possibility of multiple attempts at an embryo transfer. This could lengthen the process by several months.
Adoption: You can expect your adoption process to last about one year. We should mention, though, that adoption waiting times ultimately depend on the adoption agency that you’re working with. There are other aspects that you will need to consider, too. For instance, waiting times vary based on how long it takes the prospective birth mother to choose an adoptive family. Some families may wait weeks whereas others will wait months for the prospective birth mother to choose them. In rare cases, there is a disrupted adoption, which can add to your waiting time.
But, you could be wondering what you can do to shorten your wait. You could open up your APQ (adoption planning questionnaire), for starters. On top of this, you could be more receptive to the type of birth mother that you’re looking for. When you widen your pool of options and find the best adoption agency, you can expect shorter waiting times overall.
When you completed your surrogacy process, you may have noticed that there were plenty of “unknowns.” As a result, there were some aspects you were in 100% control over, and there were others that you didn’t. Because you are pursuing adoption after surrogacy, you may find yourself comparing the two. You should know that, in both cases, you won’t have full control over each facet of your journey.
It’s worth mentioning, though, that you’ll have control over different things in both surrogacy and adoption. Here’s a breakdown of how that works:
Surrogacy: When you were an intended parent, you may have noticed that you had quite a bit of control. You got to choose your surrogate and, if you used them, gamete donors. Prospective surrogates and gamete donors alike undergo a thorough screening process to ensure that they are committed to surrogacy no matter what. Part of this screening process includes background checks and health histories.
Still, as you may recall, there are some variables beyond your control as an intended parent. For example, maybe the prospective surrogate’s body didn’t respond well to certain fertility medications. Or, they may have needed to make several attempts at an embryo transfer. Elements such as these are out of your control in surrogacy.
Adoption: Prospective birth mothers are in full control of their adoption journey from start to finish. Hopeful adoptive parents, on the other hand, don’t have quite the same amount of control. Until they sign the official paperwork after delivery, prospective birth mothers have the right to change their minds, which is out of your control.
As we discussed earlier, it could take several weeks or many months for a prospective birth mother to choose you. Even after you meet with her, she may decide to pursue adoption with another hopeful family. Factors such as these are in the birth parents’ control, and this is something that you will simply need to accept.
In both surrogacy and adoption, you will foster some type of relationship with the prospective surrogate or birth mother. Although the kind of relationship you have with the other party is up to both of you, there are some differences in how this works in surrogacy vs. adoption.
Surrogacy: When you got to know the surrogate mother, you may have become very close with her. Or, maybe you two don’t speak much anymore. In other words, the amount of contact you share with them is entirely up to you. Your preferences play a significant role.
Adoption: In adoption, building a relationship with the other party is quite similar to how it is in surrogacy. But, the main difference here is how much control the prospective birth mother has. She decides what form of communication you guys will use and how, or if, you guys stay in touch after the adoption. In most cases, you’ll discover a wonderful new extended family member!
If you have some more questions, then we can help! Fill out our online contact form to get more adoption information now. We look forward to hearing from you!
What You Need to Know About Foster Care
If you’re considering foster care adoption, you must first know what it is, how it works and what questions to ask before making a final decision.
We strongly encourage you to complete this online form to connect with an adoption professional if you’re considering foster care adoption. They can provide you with helpful information on foster care adoption, what is required and explain how a private domestic adoption is always an option.
Until then, let’s talk about foster care adoption and what it means for your family.
Foster care adoption involves adopting a child whose biological parents have had their parental rights terminated by a court.
In some cases, when you choose foster care adoption, you are not required to have been a foster parent first. Some states, however, require that you get approved to foster a child to obtain eligibility for foster care adoption.
The term foster-to-adopt describes a situation where adoptive parents foster a child first and then permanently adopt that child.
Remember, you can always get more information on foster care adoption by filling out our contact form to connect with an adoption professional.
Ultimately, the goal of foster care is to provide a child a safe environment for some time to reunite with the biological parents eventually.
Children are placed in foster care for reasons such as:
A judge presents the biological parents with a reunification plan, which, if met, means they can regain parental rights and bring their child home.
If the specific guidelines for reunification are not met, parental rights are terminated, and the child becomes eligible for adoption either by the foster family or another adoptive family.
Typically, relatives are first on the list for permanent adoption. If no relatives are found or are willing to adopt the child, the foster family can pursue foster-to-adopt.
If the foster family decides not to pursue foster-to-adopt, the child remains with the state until an adoptive family is found.
Because there are so many children in the foster care system waiting for a permanent home, many couples choose to pursue this type of adoption.
Foster care adoption is an opportunity for prospective adoptive parents to grow their families and help a child in need.
As discussed, the foster care system often requires a family to adopt an older child or a child with special needs.
You can find out more about how a foster care adoption is an option for you by completing our online contact form.
You can also get more information on how a private domestic adoption is always an option and how you can receive 24/7 services and support when working with the right adoption agency.
You’ll need to ask yourself how old do you want your adopted child to be? In many cases, prospective adoptive parents hope to adopt an infant.
In the foster care system, infants are uncommon. Most foster care children fall between the ages of 2 and 8 years old.
There is also a wide range and variance of race, gender and medical complications with foster children. In many cases, biological parents cannot provide safe environments for a child with special medical needs.
So, when considering foster care adoption, you must be open to adopting children of older age and potential medical needs.
If you prefer to adopt an infant, fill out our online form to connect with a professional to discuss working with an experienced adoption agency to find a birth mother placing her unborn or infant child for adoption.
State adoption laws will dictate specific requirements for adoption. However, there are general requirements you must meet before applying for foster care adoption.
Once you’ve met your state’s requirements, you will participate in a home study to determine your overall readiness for adoption, including determining that your home and environment are safe and suitable for raising a child.
You can find more information on state adoption laws here. You can also reach out to an adoption professional to get more information on adoption requirements.
This is an important question only you can answer. Now that you know foster care children can be older and potentially have medical needs, you must decide whether or not you’re ready to parent a child under those circumstances.
The needs of a child must come first. Before committing to foster care adoption or private domestic adoption, you must know you’re ready to make the necessary sacrifices to parent a child.
Knowing the primary goal is reunification with the biological parents is vital when it comes to foster care. Ask yourself whether you’re ready to care for a child for three months, six months or a year, knowing they may eventually leave your family.
If you feel that fostering a child knowing a permanent adoption isn’t guaranteed is too difficult, complete our form to connect with a professional to get information on private domestic adoption.
Because the primary goal of foster care is reunification, the biological parents will want support and communication while working to meet their reunification plan’s requirements.
Journals, photos, updates and support while they work towards getting their child back can be difficult. It’s important to ask yourself how far you’re willing to go to support the biological parents and keep them engaged in their child’s life.
Having a strong support system, no matter what type of adoption you pursue is of the utmost importance.
Foster care adoption can require a different level of commitment and sacrifice, and knowing your friends and family support you positively impact your experience.
It’s also important that you work with a professional that can provide you with adoption services and support to help guide you through the process.
Taking inventory of where you are in life and what path you’re ready to travel to add a member to your family is the most important question you can ask.
Assessing your readiness based on your current family life, career and other personal factors can help determine whether foster care adoption is realistic.
Furthermore, deciding which type of adoption is right for you is essential before making a final decision.
What do you envision for your adoption journey?
If you dream of raising a newborn, foster care adoption isn’t right for you, as newborns are uncommon in foster care because the biological parents are given different opportunities to correct their environment.
If you’re looking for the chance to give an older child or a child with special needs a safe and loving home, even temporarily, becoming a foster family with the hopes of foster-to-adopt may be right for you.
You can always connect with an adoption professional to get more information on your options, including working with an adoption agency to match with a wonderful birth mother looking to place her unborn or infant child with a beautiful family like yours.
You have adoption options, and your dream of growing your family through adoption can become a reality when you complete our online form and connect with a professional today.
Adoption is a beautiful way to grow your family and there are important questions to ask to when considering a transracial adoption.
Adopting a child is a life-changing opportunity to grow your family and create a better future for a child and birth mother.
Before reading more about transracial adoption (also known as interracial adoption) and if it’s right for you, know that you can complete this online form to quickly connect with an adoption professional who can answer all of your important questions.
Now, let’s talk about transracial adoption, what it means for parenting your child and questions to ask when considering interracial adoption.
Transracial adoption is adopting a child of a different race than you. While all types of adoption have their strengths and weaknesses, transracial adoption does require specific additional education on potential challenges and the unique experience of adopting a child of another race.
Transracial adoption is becoming more common and prospective adoptive parents like you have increased adoption opportunities when you work with the right agency.
You can check out a complete guide on the adoption process by taking this link, but the process doesn’t change for transracial adoption when working with a reputable agency.
Many adoptive parents want to grow a family no matter the race because, after all, family is defined by love and the opportunity to raise a child. Biology, genetic connection and race are transcended.
Any potential challenges in raising a child of another race shouldn’t dissuade you from pursuing transracial adoption.
Instead, it’s a chance to educate yourselves on how you can create an inclusive environment and recognize history, holidays and role models and other important cultural elements associated with your child’s ethnic background.
Remember, you can always connect with a professional by completing our online form. All of your questions regarding interracial adoption get quickly answered, and you can find out how to start the adoption process today.
If you’re interested in adopting internationally or you are pursuing an adoption with a child with a Native American heritage, there are specific adoption laws that must be met.
Experienced adoption attorneys understand adoption laws and how to navigate them based on your specific case.
2. How Can We Prepare for Transracial Adoption?
Advocating for your child, better understanding events that have shaped the history of your child’s race in America and educating yourself on situations your child may face that you’re unfamiliar with are essential to preparing for transracial adoption.
Neither good nor bad, there is a reality to raising a child of a different ethnic background, as it carries an extra level of responsibility in ensuring your child:
Here are some other things you can do to experience your child’s racial heritage with them and provide necessary support:
It’s also crucial that you try to view a transracial adoption through the lens of the child. What circumstances might they face? How will certain situations revolving around race make them feel?
Having a better understanding of what life will be like for your child can help you prepare and determine how best to educate and involve your child in their racial heritage.
Want to learn more about how to advocate for your child? Fill out our online form to connect with an experienced adoption professional who can provide more tips on how to provide important educational tools and create an environment that recognizes their racial heritage.
3. How Do We Know if We’re Ready for Transracial Adoption?
During the adoption process, you must complete a home study. This step reviews your family’s life, home environment and general readiness for becoming an adoptive parent.
During this time, a social worker will help determine whether you are ready to become parents and raise a child of a different race than you.
You may also come from a non-white background, giving you a better understanding of how important diversity is, the impact of race in America and how you can raise a child with a different racial heritage.
4. Can We Get to Know the Birth Mother to Learn About Our Child’s Racial Heritage?
Yes! Throughout the adoption process, you will have many opportunities to get to know the birth mother. Adoption professionals strongly encourage birth mothers and adoptive parents to have an open adoption and build a relationship through open lines of communication.
You and the birth mother will have an initial introduction in the early stages of your adoption journey. At that time or shortly after, she may ask you various questions about your desire for transracial adoption.
She may ask you about your understanding of racial issues in America, how you plan to create an environment where the child’s racial heritage is recognized and how you plan to incorporate their racial heritage in everyday life.
This can be an excellent opportunity to learn more about your child’s ethnic background and create a deeper connection with the birth mother.
You can get more information on how to get to know the birth mother by reaching out to an adoption professional today.
5. Is Transracial Adoption Right for Our Family?
Ultimately, only you can decide whether transracial adoption is right for you. However, one thing is clear; transracial adoption goes far beyond the image of a white family adopting a black child.
In many cases, biracial couples adopt a child from a different racial background. Asian or Hispanic couples decide to adopt a child of a different race. There are numerous instances of transracial adoption that differ from the stereotypical image.
The most important element of choosing interracial adoption is realizing when you’re ready to provide your child with the tools, education and involvement in their racial heritage.
Doing so can avoid potential identity issues and provide your child with role models to look up to and remain connected to their ethnic background while experiencing the diversity of learning and experiencing yours.
Without a doubt, the best way to complete a transracial adoption and know you’re fully prepared for the journey ahead is to work with an experienced adoption agency and professional.
The services, support and education on transracial adoption you receive are priceless. You also get increased transracial adoption opportunities when working with a national agency that has the resources to connect you with incredible birth mothers from across the country.
You can complete our contact form to get more information on transracial adoption and how to get connected with the best adoption agency today.
When you decide to pursue adoption, everyone talks about how exciting it is to have a child in the house and how great it is you’re doing this for a child in need. They’re not wrong, as being able to adopt a child into your family is truly a rewarding time in your life.
But, while everyone is so focused on all of the positives from adoption, there’s an aspect of every adoption that needs to be addressed – the waiting period.
When you begin your adoption journey through your adoption agency, you’ll rarely be adopting a child immediately. In some cases, you could. But, overall, many adoptive families aren’t matched for several years.
For some, this wait may seem like an eternity. When all you want is to start your family, having to wait can cause a lot of impatience and frustration.
There is so much going into every single adoption your adoption agency is working on. Longer wait times are to be expected, but that doesn’t always make that time easy for everyone.
Let’s talk about what your adoption professional is doing in this time and what your family, friends, and you can be doing to make the wait more endurable!
Every adoptive family will experience a different wait time during their adoption process. Understanding adoption wait times is a great place to start.
What is an adoption wait time? Once you sign on with the adoption agency you’re working with and have been carefully vetted and approved through state and federal laws, you’ll enter the waiting time of being matched with a prospective birth mother. Your adoption professional will present your adoption profile to prospective birth mothers, who will review it and choose whether they want you to be the adoptive family for her baby.
There are many factors that can determine how long your adoption wait time will take:
In research, experts have found that approximately 63 percent of adoptive families in the United States were matched within a year of becoming active. The remaining 37 percent had a wait time of longer than 12 months. Again, the wait time you experience is based on many factors.
Yes, the wait time can be a very short time or a long time. But, to get through this time, there are several things you, your friends, and your family can be doing to prepare and stay calm while your adoption professional does their best.
As you continue through your adoption wait time, it can be easy to feel frustrated with your adoption professional – you feel like they’re not doing enough to get your profile to prospective birth mothers, that they’re not taking your adoption seriously, etc.
First things first – know and understand all of that is false. Your adoption professional cares deeply about helping you through your adoption from beginning to end, and every small detail in between. What you may not think about when you’re frustrated (which is understandable) is that your adoption professional is doing so much work for you behind the scenes. They’re working on:
Never think that your adoption professional is ignoring you or not working hard enough on your case. They are doing all that they can with what they have available to them, so your patience is appreciated.
During your adoption wait time, it’s important to have a support system for you to lean on and ask for help when needed. But, when your family and/or friends feel a little lost for what they can do to help, suggest these ideas:
While it’s most important for you and your partner to be knowledgeable on and understand your adoption and its process, it’s can be incredibly helpful to have your family and friends read up on adoption and all it entails.
It’s easy to get anxious, restless, and even frustrated when you’re facing a long wait time for your adoption. Every adoption journey can be stressful and lengthy, but that doesn’t mean you should waste that time being upset or complaining about the process.
As the adoptive parent, how you spend your wait time is the most crucial. If you’re a first-time parent, there are many steps you can take to prepare yourself and your home for your baby. Even if you have previous experience as a parent with other children in your family, the adoption journey is a lot different than if you’ve raised biological children.
The most important thing you can do while you’re waiting is taking care of yourself. You can do this by:
If you are going through an international adoption, there are some extra important steps you can take to prepare for your child:
Emotions run high during an adoption journey for adoptive parents, especially during the waiting period. Instead of getting frustrated with others, spend your time taking the necessary and proper action to prepare for a new baby or older child. This time is yours to use, so use it wisely to be ready when the day comes.
No matter how short or how long your adoption wait time is, there is plenty for you to know and do during that time. While your adoption professional is working to share your profile with many prospective birth mothers, you, your family, and your friends can be using this time to prepare and learn what lies ahead once your baby comes home.
Use this time you have available to you as you need, and talk with your adoption professional about any questions you may have.
September is National Neonatal Intensive Care Awareness Month. Understanding why some newborns will spend time in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) (and what to do if your baby does need to enter the NICU) can help new parents appreciate this important month.
Officially becoming an adoptive parent is an exciting time in your life. You’re getting to take the next step into growing the family you always wanted, and love a child who needs you. What you may not be prepared for, however, is whether your newborn baby will need to spend time in the NICU after birth.
While most newborn infants won’t need to go to the NICU after their birth, it’s important to understand that, every year, there are a number of babies who will spend time in the NICU. Below, we’ll talk about why your adopted infant may be spending time in the NICU and what you can do to get through the wait and experience.
Something to understand is that the time your infant may need to spend in the NICU can vary depending on the situation. This could also be for any number of reasons, including:
No matter what the birth mother’s reason is for placing her baby for adoption, the baby needing to spend time in the NICU after birth is no cause for judgment. The most important thing you can do if this happens to you as the adoptive parents is to show support and love, and do what you can to help your new baby recover and heal.
The NICU can be an overwhelming experience for adoptive parents and newborn infants. Knowing some important steps you can take as an adoptive parent going through this experience can make that time more endurable.
Below are some helpful tips you can read about and try if you ever adopt a child who requires time in the NICU after birth.
Learning the medical terminology you hear in the NICU can help you more than you know. While many feel that knowing what medical terms doctors and nurses are saying can be even more stressful for adoptive parents, having an understanding of the language can help you feel more confident in asking questions and getting clarity.
When you better understand what a nurse is talking about in regards to your baby’s health and time in the NICU, it can also help reassure you that you’re going to be a good parent. You may be feeling helpless in not being able to make your baby better quickly, but you’ll have a better idea of their future health and understand future health action plans if your child ever gets sick as they grow up.
Talking with other parents whose babies are in the NICU can also be a great support for everyone. They can relate to you and your situation better than many others, so having others to talk to who understand what you’re going through with your baby and family can be beyond helpful when you just need to talk. Support groups may also be available for parents with children in the NICU. Being able to share your feelings, worries, and triumphs together can make this part of your family’s journey more manageable.
As most hospitals allow visitors in the NICU, talking with your baby’s nurses to better understand your baby’s routine can be one of the best things you do during this time. Knowing what type of interaction your baby likes, how long your baby can respond before getting tired, and even when your baby is stressed can all help you understand different ways you can help your baby while they’re in the NICU. If you can, skin-to-skin contact, also known as “kangaroo care” is a great way for both you and your baby to bond. Being able to spend time with your baby however you are able will go a long way for both of you.
Spending time in the NICU is usually not an expectation of any parent, but it happens. If your new baby is required to stay in the NICU for any amount of time, it’s important that you work with your employer to take that additional time off so you can be with your baby.
If you’re married or have a partner, work with them to coordinate time off, both together and separately so someone can be at the hospital. Having that time off allows you to focus solely on your baby and your family in a difficult time and not worry about any stresses at work. If your employer wants regular updates, work with them to figure out contact via email and phone calls.
Despite the fact that your baby’s time in the NICU can be stressful, it’s important to remember to include your other children in this matter. They may be at an age of being able to process things a little more, but it can still be a confusing time for them. Make time each day to spend with them so they don’t feel lost or neglected while their new sibling is in the hospital.
Finding support resources for your other children can also give them the time and other people to talk to while you’re with your baby in the NICU.
As long as it’s not against hospital policy, you can also work to create a home away from home. Especially if you have an extended stay with your baby in the NICU, bringing mementos like blankets, some family photos, and something comfortable to dress your baby in can make the time there a little more comfortable. Even though it’s not the nursery you have planned back home, you can still create the space your baby is in to feel a bit like home.
When your baby is going through an extended stay in the NICU, one of the best things you can do early on is take care of your insurance coverage. At placement, you can add your baby to your insurance. Once placement papers have been signed in a private adoption, you are officially responsible for your child’s medical needs. You can check with your adoption professionals to see if your baby may be eligible for Medicaid coverage to help with deductibles, copayments, and even coinsurance.
During your baby’s stay in the NICU as you’re there at the hospital, you can also look into getting nearby housing for little to no cost. Ronald McDonald House is a great example and opportunity for families needing financial assistance during this time in their lives.
Of course, one of the most important financial steps you can take is relying on others who offer to help. Whether that be extended family, friends, or even one of the nurses, they know you’re tired and dealing with a lot at that time. They want to help, and it can be beneficial to let them help.
That help could range from them hosting a small pizza party, bringing you a change of clothes so you don’t have to leave and drive anywhere, or picking up any necessities from the store. Not everyone may think of this kind of support as financial help, but having a strong support system with you throughout this time can make more of an impact than you realize, short-term and long-term.
If you adopted your child through foster care or through international adoption, there is a chance they may need a stay in the NICU. Especially for international children, the environment in their country may be different from that of the United States. If they picked up any illness while there, staying in the NICU allows medical officials time to make sure the baby is healthy. The birth mother of the child may also have had health concerns, herself, that could have affected the baby during pregnancy.
No matter why your adopted baby needs to spend time in the NICU before you can take them home, there is no need for any kind of judgment towards the birth mother or birth family. You need to spend that energy focusing on your new baby and your family so you can, hopefully, bring them home soon to start their new life.
If you have family members and friends who ask you how they can help while your baby spends time in the NICU, help can always be provided through donations to organizations that assist NICU hospitals and families. Before making a donation, you can research organizations and non-profit companies that take donations for NICU assistance.
Here are some websites of non-profit organizations you can research and contact for any questions or help with donating:
Despite how scary and overwhelming spending time in the NICU with your baby can be, taking the right steps and getting the best care can make that time a little more endurable. Having a strong support system, taking care of yourself and your family, and taking the time to learn more about the NICU and your baby’s health can have immediate and long-lasting effects.
The most important thing you can do during this time is to have patience and respect with the hospital staff attending to your baby. The nurses and doctors in the NICU can help you understand the procedures and your baby’s routines, which can help you feel more comfortable letting them do their jobs to get your baby healthy and ready to go home.
It’s understandable that you may feel highly stressed, but just remember that this time is only temporary. When you finally get to take your baby home for the first time after staying in the NICU, that time in your life will feel even more special.
When it comes to adoption, there are countless experiences and stories across the United States and throughout the world. If you’re considering adoption as a hopeful adoptive parent or are a child waiting to be adopted, the process can feel overwhelming and, at times, a little scary.
Knowing the realities of the adoption process can help you better understand what you may not already know. Sometimes, reading the words and experiences of those who have adopted or been adopted can help give you the full circle and encouragement you need.
Ultimately, the greatest part of adoption is the heart of each and every story. Below are some inspiring and eye-opening quotes from people who have experienced adoption in their lives and how it has impacted them.
1. “You never can imagine how much love you can have in your heart until you experience it. We didn’t realize we could love someone so much until she came into our lives, and we’re really thankful to have the opportunity and that she’s with us now.” – Ryan and Jeannine
2. “I just wish I had known it wasn’t as daunting as I thought it would be. I’m glad everything happened the way it did, because we were matched with our son, and I feel like it was meant to be.” – Lindsay and Michael
3. “I just love to tell people about it because it’s such an amazing thing and a great opportunity to shed a positive light on adoption. Whatever opportunity I have, I talk about their stories just to be able to say, you know, adoption is a beautiful thing.” – Kristin and Kirk
4. “It is true what they say, everything was leading to him and him to us. We don’t look back on that one way or the other, other than it was just one more step along the way until we met Garrett.” – Scott and Tristen
5. “Knowing that this child needed a home and that was something we could provide – not only are you getting the family of your dreams, but you’re providing a home to a child that needed it.” – Meg and Tanner
6. “When you have the choice to give life and to make that life the best that it could be, I can’t imagine it any other way.” – Sara
7. “It’s not something I want to hide from her. There’s a way you tell a child about adoption and, as she gets older, I’ll tell her more and more – but it’s not something that I want to keep from her. It’s not a secret; it’s not anything I’m ashamed of.” – Lindsey
8. “You’re not giving your babies up. You’re just giving them a better life…it’s unselfish, you know? That’s their lives you’re thinking about – it’s not just your life. You’re giving them the opportunity to live the best life that they can, and the life you know that you can’t give them.” – Janelle
9. “I knew my life did not stop after adoption. It gave me a second chance to pursue my goals and dreams so that I can be a better version of myself and help people along the way. I wanted to show my daughter that I didn’t give up on myself and, more importantly, her.” – Julia
10. “Adoption has a stigma. You know, there’s that ignorance that you’re ‘giving up’ these children, when you do not ‘give up’ a human being. In reality, you’re choosing something for them…I know a lot of people try to hide it because they’re ashamed of it, and you shouldn’t be. You made a big and hard decision for what was best for your child, and you should be proud of that.” – Casey
11. “Being adopted is a beautiful thing to me, because you have your own personal story to tell other people. It’s also a great conversation started when talking to someone you just met.” – Abigail Tolleson
12. “I feel no resentment towards my biological parents; in fact it’s quite the opposite. I’m grateful for what they did. One day, I’m going to meet them. And when I do, I’m going to thank them for what they did for me.” – John DeFrank
13. “Discovering that I was adopted redefined my entire world, but it taught me that who you are doesn’t change.” — DaShanne Stokes
14. “I have a lot of respect for my birth mother. I know she must have had a lot of love for me to want to give me what she felt was a better chance.” — Faith Hill
15. “I wanted to meet my birth mom mostly to see if she was okay and to thank her, because I’m glad I didn’t end up as an abortion. My adoptive parents made me feel special. There were my parents. 1000%.” — Steve Jobs
16. “We look at Rose and think in so many ways she was meant to be a part of our family. It is true what they say: You wait for the child you are supposed to have. Never for one minute have we ever thought that we didn’t have the right kid for our family.” – Eric and Elizabeth
17. “I really liked the full-service aspect of American Adoptions. When you start researching adoption, it’s so complicated. There are different laws for every state. You can deal with attorneys on your own or create your own advertising company. We just didn’t feel we were capable of doing all that.” – Sarah and Ken
18. “When looking at all of our adoption agency options out there, one thing that we didn’t really take into account when it came to cost structure or anything like that was the level of engagement from our agency. Our adoptive parent specialist Melanie – the level of engagement and passion and kindness and efficacy that she provided was worth every drop of the agency fee that we paid for her alone.” – Mike and Paul
19. “Adoption is a burden on families, but to have an agency that does communicate and does let you know that you’re being shown and prays for you along the way and is there supporting you along the way – that was huge for us.” – Marc and Krystal
20. “If I hadn’t found American Adoptions; I never would have met her new parents. They are perfect for her. Some agencies put the baby in a foster home until all of the paperwork is done. One of my biggest concerns was she would be in a foster home and not with her new mother. I was relieved to know that she was picked up from the hospital by her new parents. I made the right decision and I am proud of it.” — Jane
21. “What makes a family is neither the absence of tragedy nor the ability to hide from misfortune, but the courage to overcome it and, from that broken past, write a new beginning.” — Steve Pemberton
22. “We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It’s easy to say ‘It’s not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem.’ Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes.” — Fred Rogers
23. “Adoption is a beautiful, restorative, and redemptive thing for children in need of a family. It is not without pain and risk. It will not solve or even come close to scratching the surface of the ‘orphan crisis’. Many children in orphanages have a living birth-parent. ‘Orphan’ is a misnomer. The more questions you ask of your orphanage about their philosophy and approach, the more assured you can be that you are adopting a child that was ethically taken into the orphanage and needs to be adopted. With international adoption it is good to be cognizant that at any point the country can change their rules or shut down. It is a risk you’ll have to weigh and consider.” – Tara Livesay
24. “I’m drawn to kids that are already born. I think some people are meant to do certain things, and I believe I’m meant to find my children in the world somewhere and not necessarily have them genetically.” — Angelina Jolie
25. “You often hear attacks on international adoption as robbing a child of his or her culture, and that’s both true and false. It’s true that an internationally adopted child loses the rich background of history and religion and culture and language that the child was born into, but the cruel fact is that most children don’t have access to the local beautiful culture within an orphanage.” — Melissa Fay Greene
26. “International adoption does not being to solve the problems of the world’s orphaned children. It’s truly not the answer. At the same time, it solves a problem for a few. I think it can be a brilliant solution to the problem of adults wanting a child in their lives or wanting more children in their lives and the problem of children who want parents in their lives.” — Melissa Fay Greene
27. “An open adoption isn’t necessarily a back door for the birth parents to come back and take their baby; it’s just more people to love your kid, that’s kind of how I see it. Don’t be afraid of open; it can be awesome.” – Cathy and Ray
28. “It’s hard, but then I always come back to the whole adoption situation itself, how good I have it, how I shouldn’t be sad and how good she has it. I mean, I have my hard days. But I always talk myself out of being sad because I do have it good. I have a wonderful adoption.” – Randi
29. “From our experiences growing up with closed adoptions that involved lots of privacy, we are excited for an open adoption. We look forward to our future child’s birth family being an extension of our own family…we want this child to be excited and proud to have two families.” – Allison and Seth
30. “I gained a new perspective on adoption, and by choosing two dads for my child, in my heart I would know that I will always be his mother. I made the best decision for him and me (in that order). I knew I needed to heal from what happened to me and that he didn’t deserve to miss a beat. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. However, staying in touch with the adoptive parents and seeing my son healthy and happy reminds me that adoption wasn’t the only choice, it was the best choice.” – Jah
31. “If I can, from our experience, give one piece of advice to prospective adoptive parents, it is DO NOT BE AFRAID! Do not let fear invade your relationship with the birth parents of your child. Remember always, love is never divided, only multiplied. I wish each and every one of you the joy that can come when you are called ‘Mom’ or ‘Dad.’” — Sherry
What’s your favorite adoption quote? Let us know in the comments below!
Words have power. We use them to get through our daily lives and communicate with one another. That’s also why we need to be intentional with the language that we use and aware of how it impacts others. Such is the case for adoption, which comes with its own set of lingo.
When it comes to adoption, the language around it is always changing, as it often does for any subject. What was once an acceptable phrase may no longer be acceptable. Terms become outdated, so it’s important to keep up. In other cases, some terms stay in vogue, but they can still be confusing.
That’s why we’ve put together this guide of 10 adoption terms everyone should know. If you’re considering adoption, or if you know someone who is, then this list could be helpful. Or, you could be an adoptive parent who wants your friends to better understand your life. Whatever the scenario may be, here are 10 adoption terms that you need to know.
When someone decides they want to pursue adoption, they contact an adoption agency. Someone who wants to adopt a child can reach out to them, as can someone placing their child for adoption. Think of an adoption agency as the mediator between the two main parties in adoption: birth parents and adoptive parents. Agencies arrange meetings, provide financial assistance, explain the adoption process and more.
A birth parent is someone who has placed their child for adoption. But, there is also the term “prospective birth mother,” which means something different. Before the adoption is complete, someone choosing adoption is a prospective birth parent. This is because it isn’t quite official yet. Once the adoption is finished, those prospective birth parents are now, simply, birth parents.
Pop culture tends to portray adoption inaccurately. For instance, when you think of adoption, you may imagine a child who doesn’t know who their birth parents are or why they were placed for adoption. This is known as a closed adoption. It’s when birth parents and adoptive parents know nothing about one another, and the child usually has no knowledge of their birth family. The vast majority of adoptions today are open (which we will get to later), and closed adoptions are now extremely rare.
An expectant parent is someone who’s pregnant. They could be considering parenting or adoption, and in both cases, they’d be a parent! To be more specific, they become a prospective birth parent if they are considering adoption.
This is the last step in anyone’s adoption process. Typically, the hopeful adoptive parents go to a local court where the judge signs the final decree of adoption. Once this is complete, the prospective birth mother officially becomes a birth mother. In turn, the hopeful adoptive parents officially become adoptive parents.
Only hopeful adoptive parents complete this step of the adoption process. A home study is when a social worker visits their home, interviews the couple and checks the home to make sure it’s safe for a child. Usually, hopeful adoptive parents are intimidated at the mere thought of this, but this is a great opportunity for them to learn more about adoption and how they can care for their child.
Open adoption is today’s standard for adoption. Usually, prospective birth parents and adoptive parents meet through an adoption agency and develop a relationship. Throughout the adoption process, they begin to know one another, and they typically stay in touch after the adoption. Also, the birth parent decides on forms of contact they’re comfortable with (phone calls, video chats, in-person visits, etc.). With open adoption, it is never “goodbye” for anyone. It is “see you later.”
Placement refers to the moment when a child is placed into the arms of their adoptive parents. When most people talk about adoption, they use the phrase “give a baby up for adoption.” Although their hearts may be in the right place, this phrase completely misses the point. No one “gives up” when they choose adoption. Instead, they are giving their child a life of love and opportunity. That’s why “place a child for adoption” is the preferred term. The adoption community prefers positive adoption language, such as this, because “give up” suggests that adoption is a negative choice.
When prospective birth parents and hopeful adoptive parents meet for the first time, it’s usually mediated through an adoption agency. But, they may then decide to exchange contact information so that they can directly communicate, now and throughout the years to come. In the case of semi-open adoption, an adoption agency mediates all contact between the two parties. This is for people who don’t want to share any identifying information but would still like to exchange indirect updates.
Transracial adoption is when the child and the adoptive parents aren’t of the same race. For example, Black adoptive parents could adopt a Latinx child, or white parents could adopt an Asian baby. Transracial adoption is more common than ever, but adoptive parents must be ready to acknowledge and uplift their child’s racial and cultural identity.
