Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate all mothers and the special place they have held in our lives throughout the years. It’s time to recognize Mom for her unconditional love and dedication that has helped shape our lives. Families are built many ways, and motherhood certainly isn’t a one-size-fits-all package. Every one of us has at least one woman who served a part in our being here and/or being raised to the best of their ability. No matter where you are on the journey of motherhood, you are to be celebrated.
We understand the worry mixed with excitement. It may not feel right to celebrate something that has not yet come to fruition. Take time to celebrate your mom, grandmother, mother-in-law or any other mother figure in your life, and find some joy in the fact that you’re on the way to being a mom!
We know this day can be difficult as well. Like every other day, it is okay to feel grief for your child on Mother’s Day. Try to remember that all decisions you made during your pregnancy were in the best interest of your child. And that’s what being a parent is all about. You have shown your child courage and unconditional love.
This is a wonderful day for you! Celebrate with your loved ones, and take time to honor your child’s birth mother as well. Even if you are in regular contact with the birth mother, take time to let her know you’re thinking of her on this day. Her loving and courageous act brought you endless joy. For this, you are forever grateful to have many Mother’s Days to celebrate.
You are to be honored for caring for other mothers’ children when they are unable. You must have a heart big enough to welcome these children into your home for a few days or a few years. You are a source of comfort and stability to children who may not have known it before. You have to do some of the hardest “mothering” of all. You all love your children. You are all moms. Happy Mother’s Day!
Happy National Foster Care Month! May is the month when we appreciate all that the foster care system and the foster care professionals and families do for children throughout the United States. This year’s theme is “Empowering Caregivers, Strengthening Families” to highlight prospective and current foster parents and kinship caregivers. Without them, the foster care system could not provide the safe homes many children across the nation need. However, the U.S. foster system tends to get a bad rap — which it doesn’t entirely deserve. A lot of the negative connotations people have with foster care is because of misinformation and a lack of awareness about what exactly the foster care system is and what it does. In honor of Foster Care Awareness Month, we encourage all people to take a few minutes and learn some more about this important government agency — and then share their new knowledge with friends and family.
The foster care system is designed as a safekeeping system for children whose parents need more time or preparation to provide a safer home environment. The ultimate goal of foster care is reunification so, after a parent has completed a reunification plan that prepares them to be more successful parents, a child is typically returned back to the custody of their parents. For those children whose parents cannot complete a reunification plan, they will become available for adoption through the foster care system after their parents’ rights are terminated. Until they are adopted or reach age 18, they will live with foster parents who are fully trained and supported by foster care professionals. Many times, foster parents end up adopting their long-term foster children. More than 400,000 children have found temporary or permanent homes through the foster care system since 1921.
Whether you’re involved in foster care or not, you can always be an advocate for the foster care system. The Children’s Bureau has several ways you can spread information and awareness about the realities of foster care, including through:
The U.S. foster care system needs support every month of the year, not just in May. One of the biggest ways you can get involved is by becoming a foster parent yourself. There are many kind of foster care, including long-term and short-term, and your local Department of Social Services will provide you all the training and support you need to create a safe, loving and nurturing home for foster children. If you can’t become a foster parent, you can still support the foster care system in other ways. Find local programs that support foster care, and participate in fundraisers benefitting foster children. Donate much-needed supplies like pajamas and toiletries for children in temporary care, or offer your specialized services (like photography or web design) to your local agencies for free.
When kids enter foster care, they will usually be given trash bags to carry their belongings. Thank you everyone for decorating and filling Sweet Cases for kids in foster care! || #fosterlove #fostercare #sweetcases #togetherwerise #fostercaremonth A post shared by Together We Rise (@togetherwerise) on May 1, 2017 at 4:08pm PDT
When kids enter foster care, they will usually be given trash bags to carry their belongings. Thank you everyone for decorating and filling Sweet Cases for kids in foster care! || #fosterlove #fostercare #sweetcases #togetherwerise #fostercaremonth
A post shared by Together We Rise (@togetherwerise) on May 1, 2017 at 4:08pm PDT
Being a foster caregiver isn’t always easy, which is why we should all take this month to salute those who have sacrificed their time and energy to provide love and support to children who very much need it. Make the most of National Foster Care Month by sharing your stories, reaching out to the foster care community and adding your voice to a cause that makes a difference in so many lives.
So I’ve been off instagram for almost two months mainly cause I’ve been busy. (It’s hard to keep up with four kids and capture all the moments) May is foster care awareness month and so I’m going to work on posting more attempting to share our journey, the reason we foster, and more information about foster care. So here are some of what I was able to capture over last two months. #fostercare #fostercareawareness #fostercaremonth #fostercareadventures #faithbridgefostercare A post shared by Ty Capistrant (@ty_capistrant) on May 1, 2017 at 7:28am PDT
So I’ve been off instagram for almost two months mainly cause I’ve been busy. (It’s hard to keep up with four kids and capture all the moments) May is foster care awareness month and so I’m going to work on posting more attempting to share our journey, the reason we foster, and more information about foster care. So here are some of what I was able to capture over last two months. #fostercare #fostercareawareness #fostercaremonth #fostercareadventures #faithbridgefostercare
A post shared by Ty Capistrant (@ty_capistrant) on May 1, 2017 at 7:28am PDT
Recent news stories have painted a grim picture of adoption trends in the United States. An April 30 Associated Press article reported that “this is an especially distressing time” for hopeful adoptive parents, citing an overall decline in the number of U.S. adoptions in recent years. As a result, the article claims, would-be parents are forced to face long waiting times and high fees in order to finally build their families. The article, and others like it, perpetuates the popular adoption myth that it’s nearly impossible to adopt a child in the United States. But while the statistics it shares might have some shock value, they may not be telling the whole story.
The National Council for Adoption estimates a 17 percent drop in the total number of adoptions from the U.S., from 133,737 adoptions completed in 2007 to 110,373 adoptions in 2014. However, most of that decline is due to a decrease in international adoptions, which have dropped more than 76 percent since their peak in 2004, according to federal figures. In contrast, “the number of infant adoptions remained relatively stable at about 18,000, as did adoptions out of foster care at about 50,000,” according to the article. This “relatively stable” number suggests that domestic adoption is very much alive and well. In fact, in many ways, domestic adoption today is better than ever, according to an article in Adoptive Families magazine. “The fact that more than 18,000 American families successfully adopt newborn babies in the United States every year belies the widespread misperception that domestic adoption is a difficult, time-consuming, expensive, and risky process,” the article states. While an estimated 1 million families are waiting to adopt at any given time, the vast majority of hopeful parents who choose domestic infant adoption — about 84 percent — are able to adopt a newborn within two years of starting the adoption process, according to Adoptive Families’ latest Adoption Cost and Timing survey. Sixty-four percent of those families adopt within the first year, with some adoption agencies estimating even lower wait times. Still, it’s true that fewer adoptions take place today compared to 35 years ago; U.S. adoptions reached their peak in the 1970s. Plenty has changed since then — the stigma against single motherhood has begun to wane, and abortion became a legally available option for women nationwide following the Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision in 1973. These societal changes correlated with a decline in the number of women placing their infants for adoption, down from 9 percent in the 1970s to 1.4 percent in 2002. But despite these numbers, there is nothing to suggest that domestic adoptions are in any danger of dying out. In fact, more couples choose to adopt within the U.S. than internationally each year — and that is likely why adoption numbers have dwindled overall.
International adoption has undergone a more dramatic transformation in the past decade. Increasing domestic adoptions in countries like China have led to a decrease in the children available for international adoption. Other countries, like Russia, have implemented suspensions of adoptions by American families. As a result, the wait times to adopt internationally may be longer. According to Adoptive Families’ Adoption Cost and Timing survey, parents hoping to adopt a healthy infant from China are currently expected to wait more than five years for a referral. However, families who are open to adopting an older, waiting child in China are likely to receive a referral within six months to a year. In light of these increasing wait times, more stringent international adoption policies, the limited availability of healthy infants, and the often complicated process of working with both the U.S. and foreign governments, some couples have decided against international adoption, instead pursuing other family-building options, such as domestic adoption or even gestational surrogacy.
If you are considering adoption for your family, it’s important to remember that every adoption experience is different. While there is no shortage of adoption statistics available online, know that some families will experience waits that are longer or shorter than the average, and that wait times (as well as adoption costs, disruption rates and more) vary significantly based on the type of adoption and the professional you choose. However, it’s also important to have an idea of what to expect from your adoption process. Here are some helpful tips for every hopeful parent considering adoption:
Whatever path you choose for your family, know that adoption can be a viable option for you.
I remember back then, a few days before the court date, when much to my shock, Vicki, the adoptive mom, asked if I’d like to meet the family for lunch after court. At that time I didn’t think I was going to see McKenna until she was 18, so I was beyond thrilled. When I got there, there was this huge gathering and they had flowers, cards, and gifts for me, and I got to see and hold McKenna for the first time in eight months. We took pictures and though it was a whirlwind visit because Larry, the adoptive dad, had been up for hours working then to court, it was one of the happiest days of my life. I have the pictures around the house. Five months later, after 9/11, Vicki decided that she wanted me to be able to see McKenna a couple of times a year at least. And that’s how it’s been ever since. I’m very grateful because on Placement Day, when I put McKenna in their arms as a newborn, I thought I wouldn’t see her again until she was 18.
Since then, McKenna has published two books through her elementary school, was on the cover of Pasadena Lifestyle Newspaper while she attended their space camp along with some other kids, became first chair in the marching band (percussion), got invited to join the National Honor Society recently, battled and overcame a health condition that she was born with, got her first job, volunteered for a few years at the zoo, earned awards, modeled in a fashion show for several years, performed at Mayfest twice, danced in recitals, got her license and her first car, and earned her first paycheck.
It will be 16 years ago this August when I placed my only child for adoption, the hardest and smartest thing I ever did. At one time, my daughter McKenna was just a happy memory, and I understood only a few years ago for the first time in my heart what one birth mom told me a long time ago — that it would get to be like I have a child out there somewhere and that she was happy, but I wouldn’t get sad every time I thought of her and that she would be like a long-lost relative. Today, what a lot of people think is a tragedy because I’m not raising my child, I feel is a great thing because my daughter has a fantastic life, something I couldn’t provide for her. It was a weird feeling back in 2001 and one that I never thought I would get to. I didn’t believe all the moms who had placed seven, ten years ago or more that I would ever feel the way they assured me I would. I imagined myself telling new birth moms that the first year was the hardest and how I hated hearing that when I was new at this, too. I had begun feeling what felt like a little closure as McKenna’s first birthday crept up on me in 2001. It was coming soon and fast. I have a semi-open adoption, which means I get letters, videos, pictures, cards, gifts, emails, and I send the same. I made a scrapbook for McKenna before she was born about my life, and I write her letters on significant holidays and birthdays every year. Luckily, I also get to see her every few months — highly unusual in adoption cases. Unheard of in closed ones. When I used to go to a post-adoption support group, I tried not to bring this good stuff up to the other birth moms who I knew didn’t get many or any pictures or videos, emails, etc. I didn’t want to make them feel bad. And I felt bad for them. At one point I was asked not to talk about seeing her, so I stopped attending the group. My best friend Stephanie, who was my labor coach and with me through the whole thing, once was surprised to hear that I was so privileged. She said she just assumed that all the birth moms got the same information. It used to be that the sound of little girls’ laughter would echo as I left a store, and I would wonder if Id’ ever get through a day when that sound or the sight of a little girl didn’t jerk at my numb heart or threaten to stir up tears. At the time I told myself I’d moved beyond it, but I knew better. A few years passed before I would hear a girl’s laughter or voice that was the same age as McKenna and I’d smile inside and wonder what she was doing that day. People didn’t understand why I sent McKenna gifts or why I wanted to set aside some money for her. “She’s got everything she needs,” they’d say. I do it because I am her mom, because I love her. It wasn’t about McKenna having plenty of toys or books. It is about me being her birth mother.
One time, in a packet of pics and letters from the adoptive mom was a copy of “Bright Futures,” a Gladney publication. Gladney was the adoption center where I lived for nine months while pregnant. An article the adoptive mom had told me about was in there about adoptive parents dropping pebbles (hints) about birth moms to adopted kids as they grew up to prepare them to understand adoption. With every new day, I looked forward to McKenna hearing good things. Terri Rimmer has 33 years of journalism experience, having worked for ten newspapers and some magazines. She wrote for associatedcontent.com, later bought out by Yahoo Voices from 2005-2012. Ms. Rimmer published her e-book “MacKenzie’s Hope” on booklocker.com under the family heading. It’s also listed on adopting.com. In Jan. 2017 her article “Living in Foster Homes as a Teenager” was published by Blue Ribbon Project and in Nov. 2016 her editorial “The Darkest Day” was published by San Diego Gay & Lesbian News and Out in Jersey Magazine. In July 2016, her essay “Pet Tales” was accepted for publication in Pet Sitters World Magazine. Her story about her dog Ripley was published in Dogs Monthly July 26, 2016. In 2007 she won a media award from Associated Content and in 2005 she received a grant from Change, Inc. Also in 2005 her life story Merged Life was published by Lulu and is available online at scribd.com. In 2003 her life story was published online at Adoption Week E-Magazine’s website and in 2002 she received a grant from the PEN American Writer’s Fund in New York City. In 2001 her adoption journal was published online at adoption.about.com and in 1991 she won a Florida Press Association Award for a series of articles she wrote regarding prayer and Bible reading in the schools. She also has experience in public relations and in 1987 earned a journalism scholarship while attending The University of West Georgia as a Mass Communications major.
The U.S. Department of State posted an Adoption Alert on May 2, 2017, providing additional information on the recent suspension of adoptions from Ethiopia. The Ethiopian Prime Minister’s Office announced the immediate suspension of intercountry adoption on April 21. It is not yet known how long the suspension will last. According to the Alert, the Office of Children’s Issues and the U.S. Embassy are continuing to work with the Ministry of Women and Children’s Affairs (MOWA) and the Prime Minister’s Office to learn more about the terms of the suspension. They are also urging the Ethiopian government to allow continued processing of cases that were in progress prior to the suspension. Questions about pending cases should be directed to your Adoption Service Provider. Questions about adoption-related visa applications or immigrant petitions can be directed to consadoptionaddis@state.gov; you can also copy the Office of Children’s Issues at adoption@state.gov if you wish. For updated information, continue to monitor adoption.state.gov.
The U.S. Department of State has released the 2016 Annual Report on Intercountry Adoption. It’s a fairly dense document that provides statistics about intercountry adoptions that took place between October 1, 2015, and September 30, 2016, but don’t worry. We’ve broken the text down for you in a few short bullet points. Here’s what you need to know. The Department traveled to 30 countries and identified three challenges that affect intercountry adoption:
The U.S. issued 5,372 immigrant visas to children who were adopted abroad or who came to the U.S. to be adopted, a slightly smaller number than in 2015. The remainder of the document reports on the number of intercountry adoptions involving immigration to and emigration from the United States, as well as which countries were involved. To see those charts, as well as charts requiring the average times and average fees for adopting from different countries, read the full report here.
This quote appears on the home page of the National Infertility Awareness Week website, and it is one that many couples can relate to — especially if they have been affected by infertility. National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) was started in 1989 by RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. The week of April 23–29, 2017, is dedicated to bring awareness to the disease of infertility that affects roughly 1 in 8 couples in the United States. Infertility does not discriminate on race, age, religion, or financial background. The goal of NIAW is to educate the public about infertility, and hopefully empower people to do something to make a difference in the lives of millions of Americans who live with the disease. NIAW was finally designated a federally-recognized health observance by the Department of Health and Human Services in 2010. This designation is important as it helps the public become educated about infertility. It also validates the painful experiences of those families affected by the disease. Infertility can seem so isolating to those suffering. Participating in NIAW helps break down the walls of loneliness and shows support for those struggling. So how can you get involved? There are many ways, from participating in events, hosting events, or even just posting your support on social media. Here are some examples:
During NIAW, consider taking a moment to raise awareness and spread the word about the 1 in 8 couples desperately wanting to become parents.
On April 21, the U.S. Department of State issued an adoption alert stating that the Ethiopian Ministry of Women and Children (MOWA) is suspending its processing of intercountry adoption cases, effective immediately. It is not yet known how long the suspension will last. The Department of State urges MOWA to complete processing cases that were in progress prior to the suspension. If you have a pending Ethiopian adoption case, questions should be directed to your Adoption Service Provider. For questions about an adoption-related visa application or immigrant petition, contact consadoptionaddis@state.gov. You may copy the Office of Children’s Issues at adoption@state.gov if you wish. For updated information, continue to monitor adoption.state.gov.
Earth Day is observed each year on April 22. The first observance was in 1970, when 22 million people took to the streets to demonstrate for a healthy, sustainable environment. Today, it is observed in almost 200 countries. Educating people, especially children, is increasingly important in our world today. The children of today are the ones who will make a difference in how our world evolves over time. Here are some fun, easy activities to do with your kids to celebrate Earth Day:
While Earth Day is a great time to help our environment, don’t limit it to just one day. Teach your kids that the Earth needs our help every day, and set an example for them to follow.
At the beginning of 2017, the U.S. Department of Agriculture released a report estimating the cost of raising a child born in 2015. According to the report, it costs a middle-income family roughly $12,300 to $14,000 a year to raise a child. For a family planning to adopt a child, they can expect to add on quite a bit extra in expenses — before the child has even arrived. The cost of adoption is high. It can be financially challenging for some adoptive families to fund their adoption. But don’t let the cost of adoption dissuade you from choosing this method of growing your family. Here is a list of some creative fundraising ideas that can help offset some adoption costs.
You will need to make space for your new addition, so this is a great excuse to declutter your house and sell what you can. Start with Craigslist or EBay for selling larger items, like appliances and exercise equipment. Smaller items can be sold on EBay also, as well as at a garage sale, or on a local swap-and-shop site (such as through Facebook). Check consignment shops for selling name-brand clothing.
Send a personal fundraising letter to family, friends, co-workers, and fellow church parishioners, explaining your story and goals. Set up a webpage to collect online donations (such as YouCaring or GoFundMe), and explain the procedure in the letter. Answer potential “how to help” questions in the letter. Start a blog to keep everyone posted on your journey.
Take your hobby or talent and turn it into a small business. Etsy is a well-known website for selling handmade items. If you are in education, create your own worksheets or lesson plans, and sell them on Teachers Pay Teachers. If your hobby is more of a service, like cooking, photography or web design, consider giving lessons to others.
While these events take more preparation, they have the potential to earn a lot of money for your adoption fund. There are many options — 5k walk/run, golf tournament, softball tournament, dodgeball tournament. Consider asking local businesses for food and drink donations during the event. Create a t-shirt to commemorate the event, and include it in the participants’ registration packet.
Hosting a benefit meal is a great way to raise money. This doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. Keep the food simple and easy to cook in bulk — pancakes, spaghetti, chili, hot dogs, hamburgers. Enlist friends and family to help cook and serve. Another successful food fundraiser is a bake sale. Again, ask friends and family to contribute baked good (homemade or store-bought), and sell them for $1 apiece.
