All I could do was the best I could at the time with what I had. That’s all we can ever do.
I remember when I had my son and he was about five months old. I told my friend about how hard parenting was for me. I told him I had many negative thoughts and didn’t know what to do. His response was that it was normal for me to feel the way that I did. He didn’t offer support, advice or help. He just said it was normal and left it at that. Needless to say, I placed my son for adoption one month later.
I have an open adoption with my son. I placed him for adoption when he was six months old. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, yet it was the best decision that I have ever made in my life. When I was a mother, I was almost completely on my own. I had very little support, and was very likely suffering from postpartum depression without knowing it. I knew that adoption was the best choice, but it was by far not the easy choice. The birth father was busy being a confused, young man who just wasn’t ready to take care of a child.
In the beginning of the adoption lifestyle, I saw my son every month or two. Since I was a mother for six months, it was very hard for me to not have frequent contact with him. As time went on, we weaned the visits. Over the years, we have changed visit frequencies to about once per year. I speak with him on holidays and sometimes in between over the phone.
My open adoption is also open for my son. He knows who I am, and will ask his parents questions about me. They openly talk about me with him, and encourage him to have a relationship with me. I tell people that I have a fairy tale adoption. It’s not perfect by any means, but considering what a rough start my son and I had, our lives have increased in abundance immensely. We are not lucky, we are blessed. I was blessed by a visit from my son and his parents recently. It was ever so bittersweet. I laid my eyes upon his face and felt my soul ignite. Seeing my son didn’t bring sadness, it brought great joy. I enjoyed my time with him; sitting next to him over a meal, watching him play video games, and just chatting with him on his age-appropriate level. My favorite moment: When it was time to say our goodbyes, I gave him a huge hug and whispered: “You know I’m proud of you, right?” His perfect response, “I know Mama Linz! You tell me all the time!” What else could a birth mother ask for?
My son was playing with some toys and his parents let me know that he has started asking about his biological father. I was floored. I have been walking a path of healing as a birth mother for seven years and have never truly dealt with my feelings regarding the birth father. Hearing that my son has some questions was not something I was ready for yet. I knew the day would come, it just came a little too soon. I’m sure that is normal for a parent — after all, they grow up way too fast. My ideology regarding my role as a birth parent is that when my son needs me, I am here for him. No matter what, when he needs me, I will always be here. That means, at times, facing my own fears, swallowing my pride, and doing what is best for my child. I told his parents that I would get ahold of the birth father, see how he is doing, and find out if there is any potential for a relationship with him for my son. No matter what my personal issues with his birth father happen to be, it is my responsibility as a parent to set those aside and do what is best for my child. I don’t know what to expect from here, but I know I will protect my son no matter what. I did text his birth father, and it sounds as if he is a changed man. Time will tell what the future holds. In the meantime, I am a focused and determined woman who will begin a new path of healing in regards to my son’s birth father.
I am a firm believer in education regarding all aspects of life with children. If you do not educate them and plant happy and healthy seeds of faith, how will they ever have the right tools to make the important daily decisions that they need to? Even more than that, if we don’t teach them, and they fail, then who is really failing? It is us failing them.
As far as children asking questions about where they came from in an open adoption, I keep a few guidelines on my heart and outline some boundaries as well. If your birth child is asking questions regarding adoption, please consider the following:
No matter which stage you are in of the open adoption life, there are going to be challenges. Face your fears as they come, enjoy those moments with your child that you can cherish, and always show respect to the care and concern of adoptive parents. You are not alone, so reach out for help if you need it. If I can get through it, I know you can too. ~Lindsay Arielle Lindsay is a guest blogger for Considering Adoption. She placed her son for adoption 7 years ago and hopes to use her experience to support and educate other expectant mothers considering adoption, as well as adoptive families.
September is Baby Safety Month, an awareness campaign sponsored by the Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association to educate parents and caregivers about the importance of using straps on children’s products. Today, the leading cause of non-fatal injuries among young children is falls — but this campaign aims to end that. Every day, about 8,000 children are treated in the emergency room for fall-related injuries, many of which could have been prevented by using proper protective restraints in children’s products. From sleeping to traveling to hanging around the house, children can easily be protected by their parents taking easy, simple steps to keep them safe. The JPMA has hosted a Baby Safety Awareness campaign since 1986, with the week extending to a month-long campaign in 1986. Along the way, they’ve picked up several helpful hints to help keep your baby safe from unexpected injuries. Here are some of the tips the association has provided to help you “strap in for safety”:
Car seats are extremely important in keeping a child safe while driving. As with any children’s product, make sure to fully read and follow the manufacturer’s instructions and warning labels. All straps should fit snugly and allow no slack or sagging. Chest clips should also fit snugly (with one finger between harness and shoulder) and be positioned in the mid- to upper-chest area near the armpits.
The most important thing to remember with strollers is to always use straps, no matter how short a trip is. Children can easily climb up and out of the seat in a matter of seconds, leading to injury-causing falls. Remember to read the manufacturer’s instructions to make sure you’re securing all of the straps correctly. Any child who sits in a stroller should be secured by straps, no matter their age, and you should never leave them unsupervised.
If you’re using a baby carrier, you’ll want to make sure your baby’s weight is distributed evenly and all safety straps are secure. Always keep one hand on the baby while adjusting straps or putting the baby in or taking them out of the carrier.
Many parents enjoy the hands-off time that a swing, infant seat or bouncer can provide, but remember that it’s never “attention-off” time. Children should always be supervised while using these products. In addition, babies should always be buckled into these products securely (read the manufacturer’s instructions to do so correctly).
Changing a baby’s diaper is difficult enough, especially when they’re active and like to move around during the process. That’s why it’s so important that parents strap babies into changing tables to avoid them rolling off the table and causing serious harm to themselves. Always keep one hand on the baby while they’re on the table; you’ll need to make sure your supplies are within arm’s reach. And always make sure that your changing table, if it’s not a freestanding piece, is securely attached to the surface it’s placed on before putting your baby there.
Children should never stand in high chairs, and the easiest way to prevent this is by using the straps that come with the product. Straps should be secured snugly, without allowing children to wiggle around in the chair. The crotch restraint strap will help prevent them from slipping down during meal time.
As mentioned, just because a child is secured by straps does not mean that they don’t have to be under constant supervision. While straps can help prevent harm in case of a children’s product flipping over or falling, damage can still be done. After you strap your child into a product, make sure to always keep him or her in your sight, proximity and hearing. To learn more about Baby Safety Month and how you can help spread awareness of this important topic, check out the organization’s website.
Adoptive parents know it well: love, not DNA, is what makes a family. Transracial adoptive families especially know that you don’t have to look like someone to love them — and according to a recent study from the Institute of Family Studies, this sentiment is growing in popularity. The study reveals that transracial adoptions have become more common than ever over the past decade; since 1999, the proportion of adopted kindergartners being raised by a mother of a different race has increased by 50 percent. In fact, about 44 percent of adopted kindergartners were being raised by transracial adoptive parents at the time of the study. The study also breaks down the percentage of adopted children being raised by parents of another race or ethnicity:
Many expect these numbers to continue to grow as society becomes increasingly multicultural. This increase in transracial adoptions is a positive step for the U.S. during a new age of complicated race relations; recent events in Charlottesville alone highlight the types of complex racial issues that transracial families have to contend with. But, as this study shows, there are still plenty of prospective adoptive parents ready to embrace all of the rewards and challenges of transracial adoption and parenting. To learn more about the Institute of Family Studies’ research and transracial adoption, visit American Adoptions.
Whether an adoption is closed, semi-open or fully open, there will usually be a time when the adoptee at the center of the process expresses natural curiosity about their birth family. They may even want to meet them. As adoptive parents, you’ll probably be excited to help your child learn more about their background and their personal identity, but you may also feel conflicted; you may be concerned that reconnecting with your child’s birth family and birth story may not answer all the questions they have, and for those it does, they may not be the answers they’re looking for. However, it’s important that you continue to support them throughout their journey, even when it becomes difficult. To help your child through their search and reunion process, here are some things you can do:
If your child hasn’t had visits with their birth parents before, it can be a shock for them to meet each other with no prior preparation. Instead, give your child the chance to read any letters or look at any photos you have from their birth parents before they meet them and, if their birth parent is comfortable doing so, have them exchange written or phone communication before meeting your child in person. The more your child can ease into communication with their birth parents, the better prepared they’ll be for an eventual in-person meeting.
You may already be able to answer some of the questions that your child has, like why they were placed for adoption and who their birth parents are. If so, make sure they have all the information about their birth parents that you know before meeting with their birth parents. In many cases, it’s better for them to hear the details of their adoption from you ahead of time, rather than during a meeting that they’ve built up in their head for so long.
An adoption reunion is not just about what your child wants; it will also be about what their birth parents are comfortable with. Your child may be envisioning a “happily ever after” where their birth parent instantly becomes a regular presence in their life, but they should be prepared for the possibility that their birth parent isn’t ready for that kind of relationship. A reunion is only successful if both parties are comfortable; otherwise, it may end up being a negative experience that neither your child nor their birth parent will enjoy.
While it’s rare that an adoptee regrets their decision to seek out their birth parents, especially in closed adoptions, what your child is hoping for may not come to be. Whether that’s because they don’t instantly feel a connection with their birth parent, don’t share a physical resemblance or another situation, your child should be mature enough to prepare for and handle that disappointment before they begin their search. Whether they can is also a good indication of whether your child is ready to seek out their birth parents.
Adoption search and reunions can be a long, emotionally draining process. It may be a good idea for you and your child to find support from people who are also going through this process or have already completed it. Although each search and reunion is unique, this is usually a great way to learn more about what to expect and how to prepare for the process ahead. Your adoption professional may also be able to give you advice or connect you with other adoptive families who have gone through the same journey. When your child first approaches you about reconnecting or meeting their birth parents, it may come as a bit of a shock — but remember that it’s a natural reflection of the interest they have in who they are. Therefore, it’s important to support them through every step of this search and reunion story, especially if the results are unexpected. You will always be their parents, and your love during this important time in their life will mean the world to them. Similarly, if your adopted child has no interest in finding or meeting their birth parents, don’t push them to do so. Respect them and their preferences, no matter which end of the adoption reunion scale they’re on. Follow their lead and let them proceed with whatever steps they’re comfortable with — and be by their side the entire way.
While your adoption professional will have likely prepared you for talking to your child about their adoption, sometimes your child may ask you questions that you’re unprepared for. Young children who are curious about where they came from may not have a full grasp of what their adoption means, and when they start recognizing that their birth story is different from their friends’, they’ll start asking why. Some of these questions can be difficult to answer, but it’s important to remember that it’s natural for your child to be curious. So, how do you answer some of the more difficult questions they have? It’s a good idea to speak with your adoption specialist for individualized advice, but here are some common questions you may get from your adopted child as they grow up:
Young children will likely see pregnant women or hear about family and friend’s pregnancies and wonder whether they became a part of your family the same way. This is usually one of the first questions that children have about their birth story and a great opportunity to explain how adoption works. Tell them that they grew in their birth mom’s tummy: “She loved you very much, but when she found out she was expecting you, she knew she couldn’t take care of you on her own. So, she found us, and we became your parents through adoption.”
Once they understand adoption, this is usually the next question that an adoptee asks. It can be difficult to see your child feel neglected and unwanted when they ask this question, so make sure you emphasize that their birth parents loved them very much and that they did not “give up” on your child by choosing adoption. “Even though they wanted you very much, your birth parents knew they couldn’t take care of you. Babies need a lot of care, like food, clothes and a place to live, and your birth parents weren’t able to give you all of that. So, they chose to place you with parents who could — us.” As your child grows up, the information you give them about their birth parent situation may become more detailed, based on what you think is age-appropriate for them to know.
Adoptees who have younger biological relatives will hear people commenting often on the way that children look like their parents, and they may not get those comments about themselves and their parents. This can be hard for them, as it highlights their differences in a time when they want to fit in. Remind them that they have the same beautiful looks as their birth parents. “We got our looks from Grandma and Grandpa, just like you got yours from your birth parents. But just because we don’t look the same doesn’t mean we aren’t a family. We love the way you look, especially your curly hair/blue eyes/etc.”
When adoptees understand that their birth parents placed them with another family, they may worry that you will do the same at some point. Remind them that adoption is a decision that lasts forever, and you will always be their parents, to love and take care of them.
It’s important to emphasize that your child’s birth parents loved them very much when they placed them for adoption, so of course they remember. This may be a good opportunity to show them any letters or communication you share with their birth parents. “Your birth parents will always love you, and they love seeing you grow up through the pictures and letters we send them. They will always remember who you are and be proud of you.”
Obviously, the answer to this will depend upon your individual open adoption situation. If you have photos and letters from your child’s birth parent, you may want to show them. Tell them it may be difficult to see their birth parent if they live far away, but emphasize that you will always support them if they want to meet their birth parents one day.
It’s natural for children to be curious about where they came from, but they may feel like they’re betraying you if they ask questions or think about their birth parents. Make sure they know it’s okay to ask you any questions they have, and you understand what they’re feeling. Remind them that you also think about their birth parents, too. “We think about your birth parents probably as often as you, especially on your birthday. We are so happy that they gave us the gift of being parents to you, and we will always love and respect them for the choice they made — and you can, too. We’ll always answer as many of your questions as we can.” While these are just a few of the questions your child may have, they can give you a good idea of how to talk about their adoption in a positive and healthy way. Remember to always reach out to your adoption specialist if you need more advice on how to talk to your child about their adoption.
The Russian adoption ban and its repercussions have certainly been in the news lately, but a new documentary will delve into the issue with more detail — focusing on the innocent people most affected. “To the Moon and Back,” a film by Susan Morgan Cooper to be released this fall, takes a deeper look into the history of the adoption ban by Russia and how it did (and continues to) affect U.S. families and Russian orphans desperately in need of homes. Cooper told Adoption.com the inspiration from the film came from a Russian girl named Olga who approached her at one of her screenings, saying “‘You must make a film about the Russian adoption ban.’” “My mission was to make the public aware of what was going on so that they could understand what exactly was the adoption ban,” Cooper said. “More importantly, my mission is to bring the children caught in the ban, many of whom have disabilities, home to their loving families in the U.S.” The documentary explains how political retaliation between Russian president Vladimir Putin and U.S. president Barack Obama eventually led to the adoption ban in 2012 — as well as how Putin attempted to turn the blame on Americans and gain support from his people for the ban. Today, about 250 families are still waiting to adopt the children they fell in love with before the ban, some even taking steps to sue the Russian government. It’s estimated that 650,000 Russian orphans in total are still waiting for homes — homes that, prior to the adoption ban, many American families provided. Unfortunately, the Russian adoption ban is a complicated issue that won’t be resolved easily, especially with new political situations adding fuel to the fire. However, any attention brought to this terrible situation is a step in the right direction. You can watch the trailer for “To the Moon and Back” below and stay up-to-date on release information by liking the film’s Facebook page. To help make a difference and start bringing these adopted children home, contact your congressman or congresswoman or state representative to express your concern for repealing this ban.
Many times, when people talk about adoption, they tend to neglect the emotions and involvement of birth fathers. So, if you’re the father of a baby being placed for adoption, you may be unsure of how much involvement you can have in your baby’s adoption and what the best solution is for you and the baby’s mother. First off, know that you can be involved in the baby’s adoption plan along with your baby’s mother. Of course, this involvement will depend upon your relationship with the baby’s birth mother but, if you make clear your support for her adoption decision, it’s likely that she’ll welcome you into the adoption process for the best interest of your unborn baby. If you find out that a woman is placing your unborn baby for adoption and you want to be a part of it, here’s what you can do:
Even if you are fully supportive of the adoption plan, you should speak with a lawyer (either the mother’s or your own) to learn more about what parental rights you have and whether your consent will be necessary for the adoption.
Adoption is difficult time for all prospective birth parents, so being there for your baby’s mother during this time will be invaluable to her. Remind her that she’s making the best choice for your baby, and that you will support her and her decision until the end.
When you support the adoption plan for your baby, you can help your baby’s mother make the best choices for your baby’s future. You two can decide together what kind of family you want to adopt your baby, what kind of contact you want with them in the future and more.
While you and your baby’s mother will support each other throughout the adoption process, it’s also a good idea to share your situation with trusted friends and family members who you can turn to in case you need them.
After you and your baby’s mother choose a family to raise your baby, you might want to meet them in person or talk on the phone to learn more about them and get a better idea of what your baby’s future will be like with them. Through this meeting, you can also start determining what kind of contact you want with them and your baby through an open or semi-open adoption (if you’re comfortable with that).
Depending on the comfort level of your baby’s mother, she may want you at the hospital when she gives birth. Being there to support each other through this emotional process will be invaluable, especially when she and the baby are discharged. Being there for placement gives you a chance to see the adoptive family interact with your baby — giving you some closure you may have not otherwise received. While there is a stereotype of birth fathers not being interested in the adoption process, we know that’s not always the case. There are plenty of supportive birth fathers who want to ensure their baby is cared for properly and has the safe and supportive start to life that they need. If you’re one of these men, it’s important to discuss the adoption plan with your baby’s mother as soon as you find out about it. Remember, you can play an important role in making sure an adoption plan is perfect for your baby. If you think your baby’s mother may be pursuing adoption, reach out to her, her adoption professional or an adoption attorney to find out how you can be involved in the process.
Adoptive parents understand the importance of telling their children about their adoption from the moment they bring them home. Adoption should be a normal, everyday conversation and, for most adoptive parents, that’s an easy thing to do. However, sometimes a child’s adoption story isn’t as picture perfect as we would like it to be. Perhaps their birth parents were facing addiction, a criminal history or other challenges at the time of your child’s birth. When adopted children start asking about the details of their adoption stories in these situations, the questions can be difficult to answer. Just remember, there is a difference between age-appropriate explanations and stretching the truth to avoid hurting your child’s feelings. One of the best things you can do in this situation is to speak to your adoption professional or a trusted counselor. They likely have some experience in these manners and can give you individualized advice for your particular situation to help you explain your child’s adoption story in a positive and healthy way. In the meantime, here are some things to keep in mind when telling your child about the hard parts of their adoption story:
Even if certain details about your child’s adoption story are negative, it’s important that you always speak about his or her birth parents in a reassuring and respectful way. Younger children especially consider themselves solidly connected to the person who gave birth to them, so if you speak ill of their birth parents, they’ll see it as a reflection upon themselves. Focus on the positive qualities in their birth parents when you speak of them, and emphasize the love they had for your child to make the choice for adoption.
Don’t make your child’s birth parents into someone they’re not; if you create a fictional adoption story to avoid answering those harder questions, your children will eventually find out the truth — and it could forever impact your relationship with them. Instead, tell them the truth about their birth parents as they ask for it — but in a way that’s age-appropriate. Your adoption professional can help you understand what that may look like.
If you don’t have a lot of information about your child’s birth parents, it’s better to stick with what you know than draw assumptions about them. Remember, it’s okay to answer some questions with “I don’t know.”
You may wish to protect your children by keeping difficult details from them, but it’s important that you let their natural curiosity about their birth parents exist. Don’t try to shut down their interest in their birth family or refuse to answer their questions. Instead, give them the truth (in an age-appropriate way) and support them in any search they may wish to make for their birth family. For many children who were adopted later in childhood or through the foster care system, they may have vague memories of the true story of their adoption and who their parents were. Therefore, it’s important to affirm those truths that they already know, rather than confusing them by offering them information that’s not entirely true. Explaining the truth about difficult adoption details to children can be complicated, but with the proper preparations and counseling, you can tell your child’s adoption story in a positive, respectful way that helps them learn more about their identity and their past.
Choosing adoption is a difficult decision for any pregnant woman to make. So, if you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy, how do you know if adoption is right for you? One of the best things you can do is talk to an adoption professional about all of your unplanned pregnancy options. Each woman’s situation is different, so the reason why you may be considering adoption is likely different from another woman’s reasoning. Nonetheless, here are some common reasons why a woman might consider adoption.
Being a parent is expensive; raising a child to age 18 costs an average of $233,000. Many women choose adoption when they simply can’t afford to add another human being to their household right now. (And remember — adoption is completely free for prospective birth mothers.)
There are plenty of successful single mothers in the world today, and it’s certainly an option for many expectant mothers. But, some women choose adoption because they want their child to grow up with two parents and they know the baby’s father won’t be involved.
Perhaps she wants to graduate college, advance in her career, or explore the world before starting a family. For many women, choosing to parent means making their child their first priority — and they have to put these goals on hold.
Some young expectant mothers feel that their age puts them and their baby at a disadvantage — not only is it difficult for many young mothers to afford a child, but they may simply feel like they aren’t prepared to raise a child at this time in their life. On the other hand, if a prospective birth mother is older and has already completed her family, raising a baby may cause difficulties in her career or disrupt the lifestyle she wants for herself and her family.
When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, many women feel that abortion isn’t an option for them, but they also know that they aren’t ready to give their baby the life they want them to have. For these expectant mothers, adoption might be the best solution. Of course, these are only a few of the reasons why a woman might consider adoption for her unplanned pregnancy. Other reasons may include the many benefits of choosing adoption — not only for the baby, but for the birth mother and the adoptive parents, as well. While deciding on adoption is not always the easiest choice to make, for birth mothers who do choose it, they rarely regret their decision. With the proper education and understanding of the adoption process, an expectant mother can make an informed decision for her future and her baby’s future. If you are pregnant and need help preparing yourself for this decision, we encourage you to contact an adoption professional for more help on deciding what unplanned pregnancy option is best for you.
Thanks to Donald Trump, Jr.’s meeting with a Russian lawyer, the Russian adoption ban is being heavily discussed in the news today. This may have many in the adoption circles wondering: Can the Russian adoption ban ever be reversed? Unfortunately, due to the complicated political entanglements of the U.S. and Russian governments, a reversal of the Russian adoption ban seems highly unlikely. Although Trump, Jr., claimed that adoption was the subject of his meeting with a Russian lawyer, he recently released emails that proved it was not. Still, the idea of a discussion of the adoption ban reversal may have renewed some other discussions among adoption professionals in the U.S. If the Trump administration (or any other U.S president, for that matter) had actually wished to reverse an adoption ban from another country, how would it work?Reversing an international adoption ban will be highly specific for each country, depending on the reasons behind the ban and the current political climate between the U.S. and that country. We’ll use Russia as an example, although this process could likely be tailored to different international adoptions, as well.
Adoption bans are put in place for many reasons. For example, Haiti stopped its international adoptions shortly after its devastating earthquake in 2010. Aid groups encouraged this out of the fear that misplaced children would be adopted in other countries before being given the proper time to find and be reunited with their Haitian families; the relaxing of international visa requirements led to an adoption boom that dramatically affected Haiti’s orphan population. In response to pressure from other countries, the Haitian government began to tighten adoption rules. The U.S. Department of State Office of Children’s Issues also warned against Americans adopting Haitian children because of the lack of proper regulation and resources right after the earthquake. When the Haitian government finally instated Hague Convention requirements for its international adoption program in 2014, the U.S. began processing adoptions from this country again. In a situation like Haiti’s, international adoptions can usually be reinstated after a recovery time period to make sure people adopting children can be effectively screened and approved prior to an adoption. However, Russia is a bit more complicated, as the adoption ban is largely a political move. Russia initially enacted its adoption ban in 2012 in response to a U.S. law that targeted Russian human-rights violators. This political back-and-forth only escalated the tense relationships between these countries. Prior to this political step, there were already complications in the Russian adoption process, including widespread corruption and bribery of officials to find an adoption situation. Therefore, when it comes to reversing the adoption ban in Russia, specifically, the problems are two-fold: resolving the political turmoil between the two countries and then reforming the unsafe practices in the Russian adoption process.
Putting political complications aside, many adoption bans could be reversed by addressing the very reasons they were created in the first place — concerns over the adoption process. Usually, this involves the safety of the children and the effectiveness of the country’s adoption requirements in ensuring it. However, when the reversal of an adoption ban is left entirely up to government officials, a huge piece of the puzzle is missing — the insight of adoption professionals who know the most about this process. If two governments were to seek the reversal of an adoption ban, it would be important that the conversation also involve adoption professionals from each country. This could include top international adoption agencies (like Holt International or Bethany Christian Services) that would have a vested interest in reopening adoptions in that country, as well as adoption agencies that intentionally chose not to work with that country previously. In the case of Russian adoption, large, national domestic adoption agencies like American Adoptions could communicate the concerns they had — and still have — about the international Russian adoption process. The advice of these professionals would bring balance to the discussion of whether to reverse an adoption ban and, if so, help create an adoption process that’s safer for all involved. In addition, legal adoption experts from each country should be present (like representatives from the Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproductive Attorneys) to recommend proper legal requirements for adopting across country borders. Along with officials from the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services, all of these professionals would have to have serious discussions about the details of the intercountry adoption process to find a solution that makes both parties happy. Only then could an adoption ban reversal become possible.
Of course, the complicated process would require multiple discussions before any tangible changes could be made to any international adoption ban. For countries that have gone through this process, there has not been a lot of success. Back in 2008, Guatemala passed a law to shut down all intercountry adoptions at the request of the United States. The “Ortega law,” as it was called, was designed to give Guatemalan adoption professionals time to refine their process for the safety of the children involved after allegations of Guatemalan families selling their children, improper requirements and child kidnapping. Today, the USCIS has determined that Guatemala still has not met the Hague Convention requirements to be freed for Americans to adopt from. Other nations, like Cambodia and Vietnam, are still undergoing revision to their current adoption process. U.S. officials are working with these countries to help them meet Hague Convention requirements and eventually open up their borders for international adoption once again. Currently, a special needs adoption program is available in Vietnam for American citizens. Not every country has a history of establishing adoption bans — and in many cases, these countries are the best choice for Americans seeking to adopt internationally today. China is a great example. Since 1999, more than 79,000 Chinese children have been adopted by Americans in a program that is well-regulated and still going strong. If countries with adoption bans hope to reverse those and allow for American adoptions again, they should be encouraged to model new adoption procedures after China’s and South Korea’s. These countries’ safe, regulated adoption processes may be the future of international adoption, should it ever come back from the “adoption cliff” it experienced after the turn of the millennium. For those looking to complete an international adoption, it’s important to do your diligent research before moving forward with this process. For those who are specifically interested in a Russian adoption, expect a long wait as both Russia and the U.S. work out these political differences — a result that seems highly unlikely at this point. Until political relationships improve and governments start involving domestic and international adoption professionals in the conversation, international adoption bans will likely stay in place. There are many aspects to consider in regards to international adoption, and you may discover that foster care or domestic infant adoption is best for you instead. You should always speak to an experienced adoption professional about your options before beginning the adoption process.
