Can a Friend or Someone I Already Know Adopt My Baby? [4 Steps]

If you’re considering adoption and are wondering “Can my friend adopt my baby?” because you have a family in mind, the answer is yes. You can definitely place your baby with a friend or someone you know. 

If you want to “give your baby up” for adoption to a specific family, whether that’s a friend, family member, or someone in your life whom you trust, this is possible through an identified adoption. Even if you’re planning to “give your child up” for adoption to a friend, an adoption agency can help make this happen.  

To learn more about “giving your baby up” for adoption to a close friend and what to consider before you do, keep reading below or contact an adoption professional today. A trained adoption professional will be available 24/7 to answer your questions and give you the support you need. 

Questions to Ask Yourself Before “Giving Your Child Up” for Adoption to a Friend 

If you’re thinking “I want my friend to adopt my baby,” and your friend is on board with this decision, you might feel like you’re in the ideal situation. Before “giving your baby up” for adoption to a friend, ask yourself the following questions:

How well do you know the potential adoptive parents? 

If you’re asking yourself “Can I have my friend legally adopt my baby?” it’s likely because you already have a family in mind that you’re comfortable with. While it might seem like a no-brainer because they’re your friend, take a moment to evaluate how well you really know them. How close of friends are you? How long have you known the family?

When you pursue an identified adoption you might not have access to the thorough screening services that adoption agencies require all hopeful adoptive parents to go through. It’s important that you are confident that the family you are considering placing your child with is a good choice for your child. 

What makes you think these people are the perfect family for your child? 

One of the most important parts of the adoption process is finding the perfect adoptive family to raise your child. Really think about what makes your friends stand out as the perfect parents for your child. Is it out of convenience? Comfortability? It’s important that they actually possess the qualities you would like to see in the family that will raise your child, and that you’re not just choosing them out of familiarity.  

Are you feeling pressured by your friend?

An important factor is if they are pressuring you into choosing them to adopt your child. There’s a big difference between saying, “My friend wants to adopt my baby,” and, “I want my friend to adopt my baby.” Adoption is a big decision and nobody can or should make it for you.  

 If you’re considering placing your child with a friend because you want to stay in contact with them, you have other options. If you place your child with someone you don’t know, you can choose open adoption. Open adoption allows you to stay in contact with your child and their adoptive parents through photos, texts, emails, phone calls and even in person visits.

Are you prepared to respect your friend’s parenting style and decisions?

 No matter who you “give your baby up” to, they will be raised according to the adoptive family’s parenting style, decisions and traditions. This will still be true if your friend adopts your child. You will need to let go and accept the parental decisions of your friend. If this is something that might hit too close to home, reach out to an adoption professional to find an adoptive family who might be a better fit. 

Are you ready for your friendship to be permanently altered?

This decision may alter your friendship in ways you may not have considered. The two of you would be connected not only as friends, but as birth and adoptive parents. While this relationship can be beautiful, you may have to get used to setting new boundaries, as well as other potential changes in your friendship. Will you be comfortable with seeing your friends parenting your child? This frequent contact could be reassuring, or it could be a difficult reminder of the sacrifice you made.  

If you’re considering adoption because you want to give your baby a life full of opportunity, you’re making a brave and compassionate choice. Identified adoptions are less common, but that doesn’t mean “giving your child up” for adoption to a friend is a bad idea. We only ask that you are sure that they are the perfect family to raise your child, and that you’re not making the choice out of convenience or familiarity. If you’re not 100% sure, you can always contact an adoption professional to get additional guidance. 

How to Give Your Child Up for Adoption to a Friend 

If you’re thinking, “How can a person I know adopt my unborn baby?” there is a process that you can go through. Below you can find a step-by-step guide to what this process looks like.  

Step 1: Contact an adoption professional 

To begin the process of having a friend adopt your child, you and your friend will need to choose an adoption professional and reach out to them to begin the adoption process. Your chosen adoption professional will sit down with you to discuss how the legal process will work for this type of adoption. They can help mitigate the discussion and address any questions or concerns you and your friend may still have. That way, everyone can go into the adoption process on the same page. 

Step 2: Create an adoption plan 

When you reach out to an adoption professional about “giving baby up” for adoption to a close friend or acquaintance, they will help you to create an adoption plan outlining your goals and preferences for your adoption experience. You can decide what type of financial support you need during your pregnancy, what kind of relationship you want to have with your child after the adoption and more. Your adoption professional can also walk you through all your options to determine that this is truly the best path for you and, if needed, help mediate any potentially challenging conversations with the friend you choose to adopt your baby. 

It’s important to remember that you are always in control of your adoption plan. That includes choosing your baby’s adoptive parents. If at any point you change your mind about having a friend adopt your baby, that’s completely okay. Your adoption professional can help you find the adoptive family that is the perfect fit for your adoption plan. 

Step 3: Complete the placement  

This is the big day! When your due date arrives and your baby is born, you will then be able to consent to the adoption. Depending on what state you are delivering your baby in, you will need to wait the minimum time period laid out by your state’s adoption laws. After the allotted time as passed, you will be able to fill out the necessary paperwork that terminates your parental rights. Once all of this has been done, your child will then be placed with your friend or family that you have chosen. 

Step 4: Post-placement contact with your friend and your child 

When your friend adopts your baby, your relationship with your friend and with your child are both permanently changed. They will no longer just be your friend, but the parent of your child as well. It may be difficult seeing your child regularly, growing up in a different household. Even if you know it was the best decision for your child, it still could serve as a reminder of the sacrifice you made.  

Your adoption professional can help prepare you for how your relationship with your friend will change and what you can do to cope with these changes. You can still have a healthy and positive post-placement relationship with your friend and child. 

Whether you choose an identified adoption or you decide to place your child with a waiting family,this is your adoption. You are always in control of your adoption plan, and you get to make all your own decisions. Nobody should make these choices for you.