Home » Pregnant? » Adoption and the People Involved » My Parents Don’t Want Me to “Give My Baby up”

My Parents Don’t Want Me to “Give My Baby up”

Adoption is a complex subject, and it can be difficult for many people to understand it. As someone considering adoption for their baby, you know firsthand just how hard adoption can be to wrap your head around.

The adoption process is far from simple, especially for people who are not in the thick of it. With that being said, you may face a lack of support from your family members who don’t understand it. That’s why we’re here to help.

If you would like to get free adoption information now, then you can contact us online at any time. But, if you are asking, “My parents don’t want me to ‘give my baby up’ for adoption. What do I do,” then this guide is just for you.

I Want to “Give My Baby up,” But My Mother Is Forcing Me to Keep the Baby

You may be wondering what to do when family doesn’t support adoption. The truth of the matter is that adoption is always the prospective birth parent’s decision. No one else can know what is best for either you or your baby, so this is your choice and yours alone to make.

We should also mention that your parents cannot legally interfere with your adoption. This always rings true unless you are in a very specific situation, such as if you’re a very young minor living in a certain state. As a prospective birth parent, though, you have to do what’s best for you and your baby regardless of what anyone else thinks about it.

There’s something else that we would like to bring light to, as well. You might have noticed that we used the phrase “give my baby up” in quotes, and there’s a good reason for that.

It’s one of the most common phrases used when people talk about adoption. In fact, you may have even wondered yourself why “my parents don’t want me to ‘give my baby up’ for adoption.”

But, this phrase misses the point. You are not “giving up” by choosing adoption. Instead, you are giving your child a chance at the best life possible with a loving family of your choosing.

So, instead of saying, “I want to give my baby up, but my mother is forcing me to keep the baby,” you could say that you want to “choose adoption” or “place your baby for adoption.” This is called positive adoption language, and it can shift the way we think about adoption and break the stigma surrounding it.

If I Want to Choose Adoption, Can I Be Forced to Keep My Baby?

No, no one can force you to not choose adoption. This is your decision, so don’t let anyone else try to sway you in one direction or another. This also means that you can resolve the conflict when family doesn’t support adoption. Many parents dream of becoming grandparents one day, and they may not understand that adoption is another path toward achieving that.

At the end of the day, this is simply about confusion. One way you can resolve the tension is to sit down with them and explain how adoption works for prospective birth parents.

Keep in mind, though, that you are not responsible for how they react, whether it is positive or negative. Still, you can establish a positive tone and talk to your family about the reasons for choosing adoption. You can also discuss the many benefits of adoption, such as:

  • Your control over your adoption plan, which outlines all your needs and preferences for your journey
  • Adoption financial assistance, which covers all your pregnancy- and adoption-related costs
  • The ability to choose an open adoption, meaning you can stay in touch with your child long after placement

When family doesn’t support adoption at first, it can be challenging. That’s why we want to let you know that you are entitled to free, 24/7 counseling at 1-800-ADOPTION to help you process these complex emotions of adoption. You are never alone.

I Want to “Give My Baby up,” But My Mother Is Forcing Me to Keep the Baby

You may find that it’s hard to change your family members’ minds about adoption. Some people are steadfast with their opinions, even when you present them with new information about the subject. So, when family doesn’t support adoption, how can you respond to criticism about adoption from them?

Keep in mind that no two situations are the same. This means that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to discussing adoption with your family members. Everyone has a different relationship with their parents, so you should adjust your approach accordingly. There is no universal technique, but here are some ideas to help get you started.

Setting Boundaries

One of the most important things you should know is how to set boundaries with your family. When family doesn’t support adoption, they may try to change your mind and sway you toward parenthood. But, parenting is not for everyone, and this is your decision, not your family’s decision.

So, if you receive some unwelcome advice, having boundaries set in place can help you know when your parents are crossing a line. You can let them know in a kind way that they are breaking these boundaries and remind them that this is your choice.

Show Yourself Some Kindness

Not having support from your family can be difficult, so be sure to show yourself some kindness during this time. They may say something that hurts your feelings, and you are already dealing with enough on your plate. Choosing adoption is heroic, selfless and brave, so allow yourself some grace.

Remember Why You’re Choosing Adoption

Although you should talk to your family about your adoption decision, you need to remember who the adoption is ultimately for. This journey is not about them; this is for you and your baby. You may be asking, “If I want to choose adoption, can I be forced to keep my baby?” No one can or should force you to not pursue what is best for you and your child.


If you want to get more adoption information now, then fill out our online contact form whenever you’re ready. We’d love to answer any questions that you may have.