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How you Control your Adoption Plan [5 Things you Decide]

During a time where you feel like you don’t have much control, you will always call the shots when it comes to your adoption plan.

What is an adoption plan? It is essentially your adoption game plan that outlines all of your preferences for the process. Your adoption professional will sit down with you to help you create one. They will help make your plan possible, but you will always be in the driver’s seat.

When you decide to give someone the gift of a child, you are doing something incredibly brave, selfless, loving and heroic. That’s why your adoption plan is all about you; you should feel comfortable with every decision and every step of the adoption process. Your voice will be heard above all others when it comes to your adoption plan.

Here are the parts of your adoption plan that you have control over:

1. Your Support Group

One of the first steps to make an adoption plan is choosing your support group. You can choose to include as many people as you want, or you can choose to keep it private. You can choose to include your parents, or not. You can choose to include (or not include) your partner, close friends, aunts, uncles, grandparents, siblings, and whomever else you choose. Your support group will be a great help to you when dealing with the many emotions that come with placing your child for adoption, so it is important to include people who are supportive of your decision. Your adoption professional will be by your side every step of the way to provide the support you need.

“She was there for me when I didn’t have anybody, and she always knew just what to say,” Lindsey remembered. “I did have a lot of concerns and fears, and she knew how to talk me through them. She’s someone that’s — even now, three months after I’ve had my baby — probably going to check in on me from time to time. She was just amazing, and I’m so glad that she’s in my life.”

2. The Adoptive Family

When planning for adoption, choosing an adoptive family is one of the most important choices you will make. Making this choice will ensure your child is getting the life you envision for him or her.

When you work with an adoption agency to complete your adoption, your social worker will send you  several family profiles to review. This can be an overwhelming process as it begins to make the adoption seem more real. As you are viewing these profiles, how will you know that which one is the perfect family for your child?

When considering adoptive families, you want keep in mind the kind of life you want your child to live. You will answer questions like:

  • Where do you envision your child growing up? The suburbs, the city, a rural area?
  • Do you envision your child having siblings?
  • Do you envision your child growing up with pets?
  • How do you envision the adoptive parent? Race, age, lifestyle?

Answering these questions when creating your adoption plan will help you form a better picture in your mind of what kind of family you envision for your child. With that in mind, finding the perfect family for your child will be much easier, and you will be more confident in your choice.

“The way I knew they were the family for my birth sons was when we went to the park,” Casey remembered about meeting the hopeful adoptive family. “The boys wanted to go down the slide, and their dad took the initiative not to take them up to the slide by themselves but to go down the slide with them. That’s the type of parent I wanted for them: hands-on parents that would interact with them,” Casey added. “That’s what told me they were the perfect family for my boys.”

3. Contact with the Adoptive Family Before Birth

When choosing an adoptive family for your child, your adoption plan also allows you to choose if you would like to meet them before placement of the baby. Some adoption agencies arrange mediated conference calls with the adoptive families, but you could also choose to meet the family in person or exchange emails.

“I feel like we’re closer, whereas some birth parents wait until the last minute and they don’t have the opportunity to get to know their family,” Caitlin said about getting to know her baby’s adoptive family. “I got to really get to know them, and not just off of paper.”

Though communication with the adoptive family is encouraged, it is not mandatory and is entirely up to you. If you are comfortable meeting or talking to the adoptive family before the birth, it can be an excellent way for you to get to know each other on a personal level. This can often help birth mothers feel more comfortable about the adoption itself.

4. Your Hospital Plan

The hospital stay is an emotional time for expecting mothers as they say goodbye to their child, which is why it is important that your desires are met.

When making an adoption plan, you’ll be able to call all of the shots. Having a hospital plan in place before the delivery will allow the agency and the hospital to prepare for your stay and allows everyone involved to focus on meeting your needs and making you comfortable. Your adoption professional will make all the appropriate arrangements with that hospital you choose in your adoption plan so that you can focus on having a comfortable pregnancy and delivery.

It is important to understand that the steps taken at the hospital should ensure that your emotional needs are met. The ultimate goal of the hospital plan is to have a successful delivery and help you begin the healing process.

5. Contact with the Adoptive Family After Placement

Your adoption journey doesn’t have to end after you place your child with the adoptive family; it can continue as your child grows. You will be able to plan for adoption after birth as well.

Depending on what you’re comfortable with, you can choose to have regular contact with your child. Most adoptions today are open, which means you can share pictures and letters, phone calls, emails, visits and whatever other types of contact you want to have with your bayb and the adoptive family.

When Josh and Alyssa chose open adoption for their son, they knew it was the right choice.

“I believe just knowing his mother and I are there for him in body, mind and spirit will be of endless value to Cassius growing up. More than that, I want him to know his parents made the decision we did not because we didn’t want him, but because we wanted to be the very best versions of ourselves for him,” said Josh.

Open adoption is beneficial to everyone involved in the adoption triad. You’ll be able to have in peace of mind knowing that your child is happy and healthy, the adoptive family will be able to speak openly about the adoption and your child won’t have to grow up wondering about their birth parents.

When making your adoption plan, you get to decide the type of communication you have with your child and the adoptive family after the placement. You can choose to have no contact, annual visits, or anything in between.

The adoption plan is all about you and your baby. To get started with creating your adoption plan today, contact us here.