No matter what your reason for “giving your baby up” for adoption is, it is always a selfless and amazing choice because you’re giving your baby a life full of opportunities and love.
Adoption can be a life-changing journey if you are experiencing an unexpected pregnancy. It’s rarely easy, but it can create hope and the chance for a better future, both for you and the child.
If you are considering adoption today, or simply wondering about what goes into choosing adoption, you may be wondering: Why do people “give up their baby” for adoption?
It’s a good question, and there are as many answers as there are people. That’s because everyone is on a unique path, and they all have their own reasons to choose adoption.
With that said, there are some common reasons to “give a baby up” for adoption that many women share. If you are experiencing unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption, we hope that you find solidarity in this guide to why parents “give up” newborn babies for adoption.
Remember that you can always get more free information and answers to your questions when you contact us here. We’ll connect you with a helpful professional who can help you explore your options and the many wonderful reasons to consider adoption for your baby.
ADOPTION: A BRAVE DECISION
You may have noticed we keep placing “give up” inside quotation marks. There’s a reason for that.
It’s common to hear the phrase “give a baby up” for adoption. You may have even used the phrase yourself. While there’s no harmful intention behind it, there’s a mistruth within it. Nothing about adoption is “giving up.” It’s a loving, courageous and proactive choice.
We want this guide to why people choose adoption to be accessible, so we will continue to use “give up,” as it is one of the most common adoption phrases. However, a more positive way to speak about this choice would be “choose adoption,” “place for adoption,” or “create an adoption plan.”
REASONS TO CHOOSE ADOPTION [WHY YOU SHOULD CHOOSE ADOPTION]
Choosing adoption for your baby can be a difficult, confusing process. How can you know if adoption is right for you? It may help to read through some of the reasons to choose adoption.
The list below is only a sample of the many reasons why people choose adoption. If you don’t completely resonate with anything here, that’s okay. Your situation is unique, and adoption could still be right for you.
You want to make sure you’re 100% ready before becoming a parent
This is one of the biggest reasons for “giving baby up” for adoption. It’s important to note that choosing adoption doesn’t mean you will never be a parent. It just means you aren’t ready to become a parent right now.
“I just wasn’t at a place in my life where I knew I could give my son what I wanted him to have,” Carly said about after learning about her unplanned pregnancy while attending college. “I knew what adoption did for me, and I decided to give him a better life.”
Parenting is hard. There’s no getting around that. If you feel like you need more time to prepare for parenthood, that could be one reason why parents “give up” newborn babies for adoption.
You could benefit from financial support during your pregnancy”
Pregnancy can be expensive. Even with good insurance, many women will spend thousands over the course of prenatal care, labor, delivery and the post-partum hospital stay. Then, there’s the cost of parenting. One reason why you should choose adoption is that these costs will create a lower quality of life for you and the baby.
“Four months rolls around, and my husband and I were like, ‘Alright, this is real,’” Janelle said about receiving financial aid. “We were having trouble paying our bills and our rent and affording food, and that was when we made the decision to look into adoption.” –
You want to reach your educational goals before starting a family
If you are experiencing your unplanned pregnancy in the middle of your education — high school, college or post-college degree — then adoption could be a good choice for you. It can be extremely challenging to maintain your educational goals during pregnancy, and even more so when becoming a mother. Why put baby up for adoption? So that you can continue on the educational path you’ve worked so hard to create.
“I knew my life did not stop after adoption,” Julia said about choosing adoption so that she could continue her education. “It gave me a second chance to pursue my goals and dreams so that I can be a better version of myself and help people along the way. I wanted to show my daughter that I didn’t give up on myself and, more importantly, her.”
You want to establish yourself in your career before becoming a parent
You may have worked hard to achieve your career goals, or you may still be in the process of achieving them. Either way, becoming a new parent could derail what you’ve accomplished. If now isn’t the right time in your career to step away from work, then this is one of the reasons why people choose adoption.
The family is already complete, and another child would change everything.
Adoption is an unplanned pregnancy option for anyone, including mothers. Do you already have a family and feel that your family is perfect the way it is? Another baby could change everything, and that doesn’t feel right. Why do you put your baby up for adoption? It could be because your family is already complete.
You want your baby to have two parents
Becoming a single parent can be a challenging, but beautiful, journey. However, it’s not right for everyone. For many, co-parenting is a requirement. But, you may not have a stable partner. Would your relationship with the father of the baby would make becoming a new parent difficult? This is one of the big causes for people to “give their baby up” for adoption.
“Some people are a product of their environment… I didn’t want the streets to raise them because I’m so busy trying to provide for them, and I wanted them to have a father figure,” said Casey about why she chose adoption for her babies.
You know the life an adoptive family could give your baby could be wonderful and full of opportunity.
There’s a common misconception that prospective birth mothers don’t care for their children. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Adoption is a choice made out of love, because you want what is best for your baby. Why do mothers “give up” their babies? Sometimes, it’s because they have hope that an adoptive family could provide a life full of love and opportunity. In other words, it’s because of their love.
“Over the years, I have been able to see all the wonderful things he has been able to do,” said Michelle about seeing her child thrive after she chose adoption. “He plays basketball, baseball, soccer, and even has tried wrestling. He also had had the opportunity to go on a jet ski and go on the boat at his parents’ lake house. He has all these opportunities because of adoption.”
The idea of abortion doesn’t sit well.
If parenting is impossible, then the two options for dealing with unplanned pregnancy are abortion and adoption. Depending on your situation, either could be right.
It’s common for the negative impacts of abortion to be glossed over. It’s an emotional procedure. This is not to say that abortion is bad. Rather, it’s not always as easy as it is presented to be. For some women, abortion might feel wrong for religious or moral reasons. Whatever your reasons, if abortion doesn’t sit well with you, this could be why to choose adoption.
You want to watch your child thrive in an open adoption
Did you know that the majority of adoptions today are open? This means that you can have a special, lifelong relationship with your child and be a part of their life as they grow up. When you choose adoption, you decide on the level of openness you’d prefer — ranging from occasional letter updates to regular in-person meetings and more. Open adoption has numerous benefits, including:
- Being able to be a part of your child’s life
- Being able to see them grow and thrive
- Becoming “part of the family” and developing a close relationship with the adoptive parents
- Your child will never have to wonder about where they came from or why you chose adoption
- And more
The chance to create a better future while maintaining a connection with the child is one reason why mothers “give their baby up” for adoption.
A brighter future for you and your baby is possible.
Adoption is beautiful because of the way it changes the lives of everyone involved. Adoptive parents’ dreams are fulfilled. A child is provided with a loving, safe family in which they can grow and thrive. Birth parents create a path to a brighter future of their own.
“I hope Teddy will always know how much I love him, and that this was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. But I made it in his best interest,” said Sara about her decision to choose adoption. “I made it for him to have better opportunities, to have a future, to grow up and be something big, and I always hope to be a part of his life.”
Do you feel compelled by the ability of adoption to change the life of so many people? This could by why you choose to place your baby in adoption.
GET SUPPORT FROM A PROFESSIONAL
If you are considering adoption, this could be one of the best decisions you’ll ever make. Guidance from a trained professional can be helpful. Contact us today to get connected with an adoption specialist.