Why Do Mothers ‘Give Their Baby Up’ for Adoption? [10 Reasons]
Adoption can be a life-changing journey if you are experiencing an unexpected and unwanted pregnancy. It’s rarely easy, but it can create hope and chance for a better future, both for the prospective birth mother and the child.
If you are considering adoption today, or simply wondering about what goes into choosing adoption, you may be wondering: Why do people “give up their baby” for adoption?
It’s a good question, and there are as many answers as there are people. That’s because everyone is on a unique path, and they all have their own reasons to choose adoption.
With that said, there are some common reasons to “give a baby up” for adoption that many women share. If you are experiencing unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption, we hope that you find solidarity in this guide to why parents “give up” newborn babies for adoption.
Adoption: A Brave Decision
You may have noticed we keep placing “give up” inside quotation marks. There’s a reason for that.
It’s common to hear the phrase “give a baby up” for adoption. You may have even used the phrase yourself. While there’s no harmful intention behind it, there’s a mistruth within it. Nothing about adoption is “giving up.” It’s a loving, courageous and proactive choice.
We want this guide to why people choose adoption to be accessible, so we will continue to use “give up,” as it is one of the most common adoption phrases. However, a more positive way to speak about this choice would be “choose adoption,” “place for adoption,” or “create an adoption plan.”
Reasons to Choose Adoption — Why You Should Choose Adoption
Choosing adoption for your baby can be a difficult, confusing process. How can you know if adoption is right for you? It may help to read through some of the reasons to choose adoption.
The list below is only a sample of the many reasons why people choose adoption. If you don’t completely resonate with anything here, that’s okay. Your situation is unique, and adoption could still be right for you.
Parenting isn’t possible right now.
This is one of the biggest reasons for “giving baby up” for adoption. It’s important to note that choosing adoption doesn’t mean you will never be a parent. It just means you aren’t ready to become a parent right now.
Parenting is hard. There’s no getting around that. And, for whatever reason, now may not be the time. If parenting isn’t possible right now, that could be one reason why parents “give up” newborn babies for adoption.
The cost of pregnancy and raising a child is too much to handle.
Pregnancy can be expensive. Even with good insurance, many women will spend thousands over the course of pre-natal care, labor, delivery and the post-partum hospital stay. Then, there’s the cost of parenting. One reason why you should choose adoption is that these costs will create a lower quality of life for you and the baby.
Pregnancy and motherhood would totally derail education progress.
If you are experiencing your unplanned pregnancy in the middle of your education — high school, college or post-college degree — then adoption could be a good choice for you. It can be extremely challenging to maintain your educational goals during pregnancy, and even more so when becoming a mother. Why put baby up for adoption? So that you can continue on the educational path you’ve worked so hard to create.
Pregnancy and motherhood are incompatible with career goals.
You may have worked hard to achieve your career goals, or may still be in the process of achieving them. Either way, becoming a new parent could derail what you’ve accomplished. If now isn’t the right time in your career to step away from work, then this is one of the reasons why people choose adoption.
The family is already complete, and another child would change everything.
Adoption is an unplanned pregnancy option for anyone, including mothers. Do you already have a family and feel that your family is perfect the way it is? Another baby could change everything, and that doesn’t feel right. Why do you put your baby up for adoption? It could be because your family is already complete.
There’s not a stable partner to co-parent with.
Becoming a single parent can be a challenging, but beautiful, journey. However, it’s not right for everyone. For many, co-parenting is a requirement. But, you may not have a stable partner. Would your relationship with the father of the baby would make becoming a new parent difficult? This is one of the big causes for people to “give their baby up” for adoption.
The life an adoptive family could give her baby could be wonderful and full of opportunity.
There’s a common misconception that prospective birth mothers don’t care for their children. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Adoption is a choice made out of love, because you want what is best for your baby. Why do mothers “give up” their babies? Sometimes, it’s because they have hope that an adoptive family could provide a life full of love and opportunity. In other words, it’s because of their love.
The idea of abortion doesn’t sit well.
If parenting is impossible, then the two options for dealing with unplanned pregnancy are abortion and adoption. Depending on your situation, either could be right.
It’s common for the negative impacts of abortion to be glossed over. It’s an emotional procedure. This is not to say that abortion is bad. Rather, it’s not always as easy as it is presented to be. For some women, the medical procedure and its emotional side effects can be devastating. If abortion doesn’t sit well with you, this could be why to choose adoption.
The possibility of open adoption is appealing.
Did you know that the majority of adoptions today are at least semi-open? This means that there can be a lasting connection between birth mother and child. When you choose adoption, you decide on the level of openness you’d prefer — ranging from occasional letter updates to semi-frequent in-person meetings.
The chance to create a better future while maintaining a connection with the child is one reason why mothers “give their baby up” for adoption.
A brighter future for mother and baby is possible.
Adoption is beautiful because of the way it changes the life of everyone involved. For adoptive parents, their dreams are fulfilled. A child is provided with a loving, safe family in which they can grow and thrive. Birth parents create a path to a brighter future of their own.
Do you feel compelled by the ability of adoption to change the life of so many people? This could by why you choose to place baby in adoption.
Reasons Not to Put Your Baby Up for Adoption
On the other hand, adoption is not right for everyone. Our goal is never to convince you to choose adoption. Rather, we want to provide the information you need to make the best unplanned pregnancy decision for your life.
There are some reasons not to put your baby up for adoption. If you find yourself agreeing with any of the points in the list below, then it could be a sign that a different unplanned pregnancy option will be better for you.
You want to parent.
Just because parenting will be difficult doesn’t mean it won’t also be the best thing you’ll ever do. Are you ready for this life-changing journey? If you believe that now is the time to take the leap and become a parent, then this could be one reason not to put your baby up for adoption.
Carrying a pregnancy to term would put you in danger.
Adoption requires a woman to carry her pregnancy to term and deliver the baby. It’s important to understand the risks of pregnancy and the possible side effects on both physical and mental health. Does pregnancy present an increased risk to your health? If so, then abortion may be a better unplanned pregnancy option.
Speak with a Professional
If you are considering adoption, this is one of the most challenging decisions you’ll ever have to make. Guidance from a trained professional can be helpful. Contact us today to be connected with an adoption specialist. This call is always free, and the specialist will never pressure you to choose adoption.