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Questions About “Giving” a Baby Up for Adoption

Choosing adoption for your baby can be overwhelming, stressful, scary and confusing.

If you’re facing an unwanted pregnancy and thinking, “I want to give my baby up for adoption,” then we know how difficult your situation must be. We also know how many questions you probably have about putting a baby up for adoption.

We’re here to help.

Our goal is to provide prospective birth mothers will all of the information they need to choose adoption and feel encouraged during the journey. This won’t necessarily be easy, but with the right resources and support, placing your baby for adoption can be a beautiful process that creates a better future.

Now, let’s take a look at a few of the biggest questions about putting a newborn up for adoption.

Are there other ways to say ‘give up’ for adoption?

A little disclaimer here: We know this may not be your biggest question. But, it is important to address right up front. “I want to give my baby up for adoption” is one of the most common ways to talk about this process. It’s language you have probably heard, and even used yourself.

However, there’s something foundational in this phrase that misses the point: Nothing about adoption resembles “giving up.”

Choosing adoption for your baby is a proactive, courageous, loving thing to do. It can create a better future for yourself and your baby. It is brave and strong. This is why you shouldn’t say “give up” for adoption, according to many adoption professionals. A better phrase could be “create an adoption plan” or “choose adoption.”

Here, we will use many different variations on “giving baby up” for adoption in an effort to be relatable and inclusive, but it’s important for you to know that if you do choose to place your baby for adoption, you’re not giving up or thoughtlessly “giving your baby away.”

I want to give my baby up for adoption. How do I do that?

Understanding the adoption process is your first big step in this journey. It’s not your job to become an adoption expert, because there will be professionals assisting you along the way (more on this later).

For now, a basic understanding on how putting a newborn up for adoption works will do. Once you get the process, you’ll be in a better position to decide if adoption is right for you.

The most important steps of putting your newborn up for adoption are:

Step 1: Choose Adoption

Seems kind of obvious, right? It’s important that we don’t skip over this step. You have several unplanned pregnancy options, and you should take your time researching all of them. Which one is best for you? If you can confidently say, “I want to put my baby up for adoption,” then you’re ready for the next step.

Step 2: Choose an Agency and Create a Plan

Remember how we said you wouldn’t be on your own during the process? That’s where your agency comes in. Adoption agencies provide important services to prospective birth mothers that enable you to successfully complete an adoption placement. With the help of an agency, you’ll create a plan for your adoption. This includes things like the type of family you want for your baby, the level of openness you want after placement, and where you would like to go for labor and delivery.

Step 3: Pick an Adoptive Family

Choosing adoption for your baby involves one especially important decision: Picking the adoptive family. When you’re a prospective birth mother, you’ll look through adoptive family profiles to find the family you think will be best. If you’ve got it narrowed down to two or three, you can ask your adoption specialist to set up some phone calls to get a better sense of who these adoptive parents are. Then, when you feel a sense of certainty, you can decide who will raise your baby.

Step 4: Complete Placement

Your hospital plan will guide the experience when the time comes to deliver your baby. After birth, you’ll need to give your official consent to adoption, which allows for the baby to be placed with the adoptive parents.

Putting an infant up for adoption is a unique journey. Your process will have many distinct twists and turns that aren’t spelled out here. But, generally speaking, these are the big steps required for placing baby for adoption.

What are some good reasons for choosing to ‘give your baby up’ for adoption?

Women from all walks of life choose ‘giving baby up’ for adoption as a way to respond to unplanned and unwanted pregnancy. Most books, movies and TV shows portray women who choose adoption as almost exclusively young, single and without resources. Many women who are in a similar situation do choose “giving baby up” for adoption, but they are not in any way the only type of person who chooses this option.

Some common reasons for putting baby up for adoption are:

  • Your family is already complete, and now is not the time for another child.
  • Your career goals don’t fit with becoming a parent.
  • Your education can’t be put on hold while you become a new mother.
  • You want to be a mother, but right now is not the right time.
  • You don’t want to be a mother, and abortion is either undesirable or inaccessible in your situation.
  • A lack of support from a stable partner would make parenting too difficult.
  • The financial burden of pregnancy and parenting would be impossible to handle.

These are only a few of the many, many reasons you might be pregnant and want to ‘give a baby up’ for adoption.

Who can help you put baby up for adoption?

There are professionals and other resources available to you during this challenging journey. The first and most important is an adoption agency.

Like we mentioned earlier, an agency provides the required services you need in order to complete an adoption. They also offer support during the journey, guiding you through the many emotions and protecting your interests. This includes things like facilitating adoption financial assistance for pregnancy-related expenses.

If you are thinking of adopting a baby out and would like to speak with an agency, consider contacting one of the professionals below:

Who else is involved in putting a baby up for adoption?

You don’t have to go through this process on your own. There are personal and professional relationships that will play a part when a woman “gives baby up” for adoption. Who these people are will depend on your specific circumstances.

Is the birth father involved in your decision? Are you parents or grandparents supporting you? Do you have friends to talk to?

Your answers will shape your “adoption team,” which could be made up of people like:

  • Friends and Family: Your primary support system, this should include the closest people in your life who want to help you and make you feel good about your decision.
  • Adoption Specialists: Your primary contact at your adoption agency, specialists can provide you with guidance and emotional support while “giving a baby away” for adoption. They are trained to know how to help you and ensure your adoption goals are safely, legally and ethically achieved.
  • Legal Experts: The legal procedures surrounding adoption can get complicated, especially if the adoption occurs across state borders. Whether you are pursuing an agency adoption or independent adoption, an adoption attorney is always required to legally complete the adoption.
  • Father of the Baby: Whether the birth father is supportive or unsupportive of your decision, wants to be involved in the adoption, or even if he is unknown, his rights must always be terminated for the adoption to move forward. Regardless of his level of involvement, you may always contact an adoption professional or an attorney who will attempt to help you legally proceed with your adoption with or without the birth father.

These are a few of the people who might be involved when “giving a newborn baby up” for adoption.

How much does it cost when a mom ‘gives a baby up’ for adoption?

The adoption process is always free to prospective birth mothers. The financial costs associated with pregnancy and parenting are often a motivating factor for choosing adoption. It would be wrong to face a similar financial barrier to the process, which is why you can always place your baby for adoption for free.

In fact, prospective birth mothers are often eligible for adoption financial assistance. Each state has its own laws determining what is allowed and not allowed when it comes to this assistance. Your specialist will work to ensure that your journey is made as stress-free as possible by facilitating adoption financial assistance for your pregnancy-related expenses, including things like medical costs, living expenses, legal fees and more.

How will I find the right family for my baby?

The modern adoption process puts you in charge, and that includes choosing the adoptive parents that you believe will be best for your baby. Working with an agency, you can outline the characteristics in potential adoptive parents that matter most to you. This could be something like size of family, living situation, parenting philosophy or religious affiliation.

Working with a good adoption agency is arguably the most important step toward finding the right parents when you are “giving baby up” for adoption. Ask any potential agency how they vet families, how many families they work with, and what is included in adoptive family profiles (is it just photos and letters, or are there videos, too?).

An agency with thorough vetting, a large number of hopeful parents and high-quality profiles will put you in the best position.

Will I get to see my child after ‘giving a baby away’ in adoption?

The vast majority of adoptions are at least semi-open. This means that “giving your baby up” for adoption isn’t the end of your relationship.

Open adoption relationships vary depending on what the prospective birth mother wants. This is something you can work out in your adoption plan. From occasional letters, to video calls, to in-person meetings, open adoption can be whatever you want it to be.

Speak with a Professional

While we’ve provided answers to some of the most common questions about “giving a baby up” for adoption, we know that you most likely have more specific questions about your situation. It can be helpful to speak with a professional.

Contact us today if you’d like to be connected with an adoption specialist.