“Giving your baby up” for adoption is a selfless choice because you are creating a future full of opportunity, joy and love for both you and your baby.
If you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy and thinking, “I want to put my unborn baby up for adoption,” then we know how much love you must have for this baby. We also know how many questions you probably have about putting a baby up for adoption.
We’re here to help.
Our goal is to provide prospective birth mothers will all of the information they need to choose adoption and feel encouraged during the journey. This won’t necessarily be easy, but with the right resources and support, placing your baby for adoption can be a beautiful process that creates a better future.
You can get more free information about “giving a baby up” for adoption, plus personalized support from a qualified adoption professional, by contacting us today.
Now, let’s take a look at a few of the biggest questions about putting a newborn up for adoption.
1. ARE THERE OTHER WAYS TO SAY ‘GIVE UP’ FOR ADOPTION?
A little disclaimer here: We know this may not be your biggest question. But, it is important to address right up front. “I want to give my baby up for adoption” is one of the most common ways to talk about this process. It’s language you have probably heard, and even used yourself.
However, there’s something foundational in this phrase that misses the point: Nothing about adoption resembles “giving up.”
“I think a lot of people think when you place your baby for adoption that you don’t love them, but it’s the complete opposite. The love I have for my children is as big as this world is. So I chose to place her purely out of love,” said Lindsey about her decision to place her baby for adoption.
Choosing adoption for your baby is a proactive, courageous, loving thing to do. It can create a better future for yourself and your baby. It is brave and strong. This is why you shouldn’t say “give up” for adoption, according to many adoption professionals. A better phrase could be “create an adoption plan” or “choose adoption.”
Here, we will use many different variations on “giving baby up” for adoption in an effort to be relatable and inclusive, but it’s important for you to know that if you do choose to place your baby for adoption, you’re not giving up or thoughtlessly “giving your baby away.”
2. I WANT TO GIVE MY BABY UP FOR ADOPTION. HOW DO I DO THAT?
Understanding the adoption process is your first big step in this journey. It’s not your job to become an adoption expert, because there will be professionals assisting you along the way (more on this later).
For now, a basic understanding on how putting a newborn up for adoption works will do. Once you get the process, you’ll be in a better position to decide if adoption is right for you.
The most important steps of putting your newborn up for adoption are:
Step 1: Choose Adoption
Seems kind of obvious, right? It’s important that we don’t skip over this step. You have several unplanned pregnancy options, and you should take your time researching all of them. Which one is best for you? If you can confidently say, “I want to put my baby up for adoption,” then you’re ready for the next step. Even if you’re not 100% certain that you are ready to choose adoption, you can contact an adoption professional to get additional guidance and information.
Step 2: Choose an Agency and Create a Plan
Remember how we said you wouldn’t be on your own during the process? That’s where your agency comes in. Adoption agencies provide important services to prospective birth mothers that enable you to successfully complete an adoption placement. With the help of an agency, you’ll create a plan for your adoption. This includes things like the type of family you want for your baby, the level of openness you want after placement, and where you would like to go for labor and delivery.
Step 3: Pick an Adoptive Family
Choosing adoption for your baby involves one especially important decision: Picking the adoptive family. When you’re a prospective birth mother, you’ll look through adoptive family profiles to find the family you think will be best. If you’ve got it narrowed down to two or three, you can ask your adoption specialist to set up some phone calls to get a better sense of who these adoptive parents are. Then, when you feel a sense of certainty, you can decide who will raise your baby. Once you’ve chosen adoptive parents, you’ll have the opportunity to get to know them and build a relationship during your pregnancy before placing your baby for adoption with them.
Step 4: Complete the Adoption
Your hospital plan will guide the experience when the time comes to deliver your baby. After birth, you’ll need to gcomplete the adoption paperwork, which allows for the baby to be placed with the adoptive parents.
Putting an infant up for adoption is a unique journey. Your process will have many distinct twists and turns that aren’t spelled out here. But, generally speaking, these are the big steps required for placing a baby for adoption.
3. WHAT ARE SOME GOOD REASONS FOR CHOOSING TO ‘GIVE YOUR BABY UP’ FOR ADOPTION?
Women from all walks of life choose ‘giving baby up’ for adoption as a way to respond to an unplanned pregnancy. Most books, movies and TV shows portray women who choose adoption as almost exclusively young, single and without resources. Many women who are in a similar situation do choose “giving the baby up” for adoption, but they are not in any way the only type of person who chooses this option.
- You want your baby to have more in life than what you are currently able to provide.
- You have educational or career dreams that you want to achieve before raising a child.
- You want to become a mother on your own terms, when you feel more prepared for the responsibilities of parenting.
- You want to be a hero to another family who can’t have a baby on their own.
- You want your child to grow up in a loving, stable, two-parent home.
“I just came to the point where I didn’t want their life to consist of their mom working really hard at two jobs just to get by, and then I’m barely home,” said Casey about why she chose adoption for her baby. “Some people are a product of their environment… I didn’t want the streets to raise them because I’m so busy trying to provide for them, and I wanted them to have a father figure.”
These are only a few of the many, many reasons you might be pregnant and looking to place your baby for adoption.
4. WHO CAN HELP YOU PUT BABY UP FOR ADOPTION?
There are professionals and other resources available to you during this life-changing journey. The first and most important is an adoption agency.
“I could not have asked for a better set of people in my life,” Erika said about her adoption professional. “They made the whole process amazing… I never went back and forth with my decision, but it was still a tough decision. I don’t know how I would have done it without [my social worker].”
Like we mentioned earlier, an agency provides the required services you need in order to complete an adoption. They also offer support during the journey, guiding you through the many emotions and protecting your interests. This includes things like facilitating adoption financial assistance for pregnancy-related expenses.
If you are thinking of adopting a baby out and would like to speak with an agency, consider contacting one of the professionals below:
5. WHO ELSE IS INVOLVED IN PUTTING A BABY UP FOR ADOPTION?
You don’t have to go through this process on your own. There are personal and professional relationships that will play a part when a woman “gives baby up” for adoption. Who these people are will depend on your specific circumstances.
Is the birth father involved in your decision? Are you parents or grandparents supporting you? Do you have friends to talk to?
Your answers will shape your “adoption team,” which could be made up of people like:
- Friends and Family: Your primary support system, this should include the closest people in your life who want to help you and make you feel good about your decision.
- Adoption Specialists: Your primary contact at your adoption agency, your adoption specialist, counselor or social worker can provide you with guidance and emotional support while “giving a baby away” for adoption. They are trained to know how to help you and ensure your adoption goals are safely, legally and ethically achieved.
- Legal Experts: The legal procedures surrounding adoption can get complicated, especially if the adoption occurs across state borders. Your adoption attorney will help legally complete the adoption.
- Father of the Baby: If the birth father wants to be involved, he could be a great resource. The two of you should sit down together to make sure you are both on the same page, and how you will proceed forward. Regardless of his level of involvement, you may always contact an adoption professional or an attorney who will help you explore your options.
These are a few of the people who might be involved when “giving a newborn baby up” for adoption.
6. HOW MUCH DOES IT COST WHEN A MOM ‘GIVES A BABY UP’ FOR ADOPTION?
Choosing adoption for your baby is a brave, selfless, loving and heroic thing to do. That’s why the adoption process is always free to prospective birth mothers. The financial costs associated with pregnancy and parenting are often a motivating factor for choosing adoption. It would be wrong to face a similar financial barrier to the adoption process, which is why you can always place your baby for adoption for free.
In fact, prospective birth mothers are often eligible for adoption financial assistance to help with things like rent, groceries, maternity clothes and more. Each state has its own laws determining what is allowed and not allowed when it comes to this assistance. Your specialist will work to ensure that your journey is made as stress-free as possible by facilitating adoption financial assistance for your pregnancy-related expenses, including things like medical costs, living expenses, legal fees and more.
7. HOW WILL I FIND THE RIGHT FAMILY FOR MY BABY?
The modern adoption process puts you in charge, and that includes choosing the adoptive parents that you believe will be best for your baby. Working with an agency, you can outline the characteristics in potential adoptive parents that matter most to you. This could be something like size of family, living situation, parenting philosophy or religious affiliation.
Working with a good adoption agency is arguably the most important step toward finding the right parents when you are putting your baby up for adoption. Ask any potential agency how they vet families, how many families they work with, and what is included in adoptive family profiles (is it just photos and letters, or are there videos, too?).
“Rachel said, ‘Frances, you’ll know when you have picked the perfect family,’” Frances said about a conversation with her adoption specialist. “When we talked to Chris and Courtney, in the middle of the conversation, I knew Chris and Courtney were the ones.”
An agency with thorough vetting, a large number of hopeful parents and high-quality profiles will put you in the best position to find the perfect parents for your baby.
8. WILL I GET TO SEE MY CHILD AFTER ‘GIVING A BABY AWAY’ IN ADOPTION?
The vast majority of adoptions today are open. This means that “giving your baby up” for adoption isn’t the end of your relationship.
Open adoption relationships vary depending on what the prospective birth mother wants. This is something you can work out in your adoption plan. From occasional letters, to video calls, to in-person meetings, open adoption can be whatever you want it to be.
“Knowing that I can be around and be there — I don’t even know how to put it into words… I’m like a cheerleader on the sideline, and that’s more than I could have asked for,” Caitlin added of her open adoption relationship. “He gets this family who can take care of him and do everything I couldn’t, but he can also know that I didn’t just give him away. I had a purpose for him, and it was meant to be.”
GET FREE INFORMATION FROM A PROFESSIONAL
While we’ve provided answers to some of the most common questions about “giving a baby up” for adoption, we know that you most likely have more specific questions about your situation. Speaking with adoption professional is a great way to get a better idea of what you can expect when placing your baby for adoption. Contact us today to get connected with an adoption specialist.