If you’re considering relative adoption because you want your mom, sister or aunt to adopt your baby, this is definitely an option for you.
As the prospective birth parent, you are always in control of your adoption plan. This includes choosing the adoptive parents that you feel are a perfect match to raise your baby. If that happens to be a parent, sibling, grandparent or other relative, this is definitely possible for you. If you’re not sure, you can always work with an adoption agency to find a wonderful adoptive family.
If you’re asking yourself, “How do I let my parents adopt my child?” or, “Can my sister adopt my child?” you can find more information on relative adoption below, or get answers to your questions by contacting an adoption professional today.
How Can My Parents Adopt My Child? [The 5 Steps of a Relative Adoption]
If you’re considering relative adoption, you might be wondering, “How do I ‘give my child up’ for adoption to my parents?” Or, “Can my sister adopt my baby after I give birth?”
Yes! You can, through what’s known as a “relative adoption.” The process for placing your child for adoption with a family member is similar to standard infant adoption. Some of the steps may be slightly altered since you already know who you want to adopt your child, but you can count on going through these 5 steps:
Step 1: Make sure this is what you really want
While placing your child for adoption with a family member can be tempting because your relatives are generally people you love and trust, make sure you have explored all your unplanned pregnancy options. If you are set on adoption, really take into account whether letting a family member adopt your child is in the best interest of you and your child.
“My sister is awesome. I don’t know how she does it. She had three kids already when she adopted my daughter. Unfortunately, my sister ultimately got divorced and her ex-husband doesn’t care about any of the children. My daughter loves her adopted father, but he just doesn’t care. Realistically, I’m sure there were probably better choices for parents for my daughter, but hindsight is 20/20,” said Matthew about his decision to place his child with a family member.
“Do your research when choosing to place your kid with a family member. Being family will blind you because you feel a certain way about them, but that doesn’t mean that family is the best choice.”
Are you making this decision because it’s convenient and you trust your relative? Are you being pressured? You are the only person who should be making decisions for your adoption. Only you know what’s best for you and your baby. So if you’re wondering, “Can my mom adopt my baby?” or, “Can my dad adopt my child?” make sure that it’s because this is what you really want.
Step 2: Contact a professional
Once you’ve determined you want to place your baby for adoption with a family member, you’re ready to contact an adoption professional. Many national adoption agencies can offer you helpful services to make sure your adoption process is as smooth as possible. These services can include:
- Unplanned pregnancy counseling
- Financial assistance
- Hospital planning
- Legal representation
- And more
You will never be alone during your adoption process. Your adoption professional will always be available to answer questions and help you get started with your relative adoption.
Step 3: Create an adoption plan to let your parents adopt your child.
As the expectant parents, you will always be in the driver’s seat when it comes to your adoption plan. You call all the shots, and your adoption professional will take care of everything. Your adoption plan includes who you want to raise your child, your hospital plan, post-placement contact arrangements and more.
Step 4: Your Hospital Stay.
On the big day of your due date, you’ll be able to officially place the baby with the adoptive family. Depending on your states adoption laws, you will wait an allotted amount of time before you can sign the documents consenting to the adoption and terminating your parental rights. Once this is done, your chosen relative will be considered the legal parent of your child.
Step 5: Continue your post-adoption relationship.
Once the placement has been completed, you should be prepared for your relationship with your family member to change. Will you be able to accept seeing your child being raised by your relative according to their parenting methods? Your adoption professional will help you and your relative establish post-placement arrangements to ensure that the transition is as smooth as possible.
5 Questions About Relative Adoption
If you have any questions or concerns about having a family member adopt your child, you are not alone. Here are a few common questions about having a family member adopt your child, which we’ve listed and answered below:
“I don’t want my baby. Can I give it to my mom?” “I don’t want my baby anymore; can I give her to my sister?”
If you are having thoughts of not wanting your baby, placing your child for adoption with your mom or sister, or choosing a waiting adoptive family can be a great option to give your child a chance at a happy life. However, you should always talk to an attorney or an adoption professional to make sure you are completing this process in a safe and legal way. It’s not quite as simple as just “giving” your baby to a family member.
Make sure this is really what you want and that you are prepared for your relationship with your mom or sister to change. Some women find this new role in their biological child’s life confusing or emotionally complicated. If your parents are your child’s legal parents, that would make your child your legal sibling. If you’re not sure this is something you can adjust to, consider selecting an adoptive family that you are not related to.
“Can my aunt adopt my baby?”
Yes. If you want your aunt to adopt your baby (and your aunt wants to adopt your baby) this is an option for you. Again, you’ll want to make sure this is really what you want. The two of you will need to reach out to an adoption professional to get started with your adoption process.
“Can my brother and sister-in-law adopt my child?”
Yes. Your brother and sister-in-law can adopt your child. As with all relative adoptions, you should be prepared for your relationship with your brother to change once they have adopted your child. While it can bring you closer together, it may be difficult to see your child being raised by someone else. And once your brother is the legal parent of your child, your child will also legally be considered your niece or nephew. Are you prepared for the emotions that come with this new role?
“I want my sister to adopt my baby because she can’t have kids. Is that illegal?”
Choosing adoption for your baby is never illegal if you go through the proper channels. However, if the only reason you’re placing your baby for adoption is because your sister is unable to become pregnant, or because you feel as if your sister or other family members are pressuring you to “help” your sister, then you should reevaluate your motivations to choose adoption.
Have you considered all your options? If you’re choosing adoption because you feel that it’s what’s best for you and your child, then placing your baby with your sister (or with any properly screened waiting adoptive parent) is an excellent option. Just be sure that you’re doing this for you and your child — not because someone else is pressuring you or because you feel guilty. Remember, you know what’s best for you and your child.
“Should I let my parents adopt my child?”
Placing your baby for adoption with your parents could be a wonderful decision. You know they will give your child all the love and care you could hope for. While this is true, there is a lot of emotional adjustment that will come with the new roles everyone will take on. This will likely change your relationship with your parents and your child. Are you prepared for this?
It’s important that you are letting your parents adopt your child because you want them to, and not because they are pressuring you to do so. Adoption is a big decision, and not one that anyone should make for you. You know what’s best for you and your baby.
If you’re not sure if relative adoption is the right choices for you but still want to place your baby for adoption, there are many waiting, pre-screened families that are waiting to have the family of their dreams.
Ultimately, only you can decide if adoption is right for you and your child, and who you feel is right to raise your baby — whether that’s your parents, your sibling, or a waiting couple. If you’re not sure which type of adoption is right for you, or you’d like to get more information about placing your child with a family member or unrelated adoptive family, contact us online.
We are always here to talk to you about your options and walk you through the process of placing a baby for adoption with your parents, sibling, or any family member or screened waiting adoptive couple.