Options if You Don’t Want to Be Pregnant – But Don’t Want an Abortion
An unplanned pregnancy can upend your life. If you’re experiencing an unexpected and unwanted pregnancy
, then you are probably feeling overwhelmed, anxious, confused and afraid.
For many women, the best option isn’t clear. Whether it’s because you still have school to finish, a career to pursue, finances to worry about or a family that’s already complete, you may feel that parenting won’t be easy right now.
The first, most obvious option for an unplanned pregnancy
is abortion. However, abortion isn’t for everyone. You may be wondering if there are any abortion alternatives to ending an unplanned pregnancy.
We’re here to help. We’ve created this guide to other options besides abortion
for any women saying, “I don’t want to be pregnant, but I don’t want an abortion.” We’ll go over the alternatives to abortion that you can consider, as well as the pros and cons for each.
If you have more specific questions at any point while reading, you can contact us online today
Adoption is an alternative to abortion. It’s not a process that most women consider before finding themselves in crisis after an unexpected pregnancy. You may be vaguely familiar with the idea, but not really sure how it works
Adoption as an alternative to abortion can be a beautiful, but challenging, journey. It holds the possibility of creating a better future for yourself and for your child. Additionally, it can make the logistical problems of pregnancy — medical care, costs, etc. — easier to deal with.
Let’s explore a couple important aspect of the adoption process
that you should be aware of if you are wondering, “Is adoption a good alternative to abortion?”
Support from Professionals
In order to start the adoption process, most women will choose to work with a private adoption agency. For many, adoption is a viable alternative to abortion
because of the robust support and services provided to the prospective birth mother throughout the process by the agency.
This includes things like:
- Counseling and support for the emotional journey
- Logistical and administrative services
- Connections to other professionals
- Assistance creating an adoption plan
- Assistance choosing an adoptive family
- Post-placement support
- And more
Additionally, most prospective birth mothers receive some form of adoption financial assistance
, which can cover the cost of pregnancy-related expenses like medical care, living expenses, and more. The services of the adoption agency will always be free to prospective birth mothers, too. As finances can be a primary cause of stress during unwanted pregnancy, these factors make adoption as an alternative to abortion an attractive option.
Authority Over the Process
When you choose adoption, you’ll work with the agency of your choice
to create an adoption plan. This plan puts the prospective birth mother in charge — from choosing the adoptive parents, to deciding on a level of openness (more on this in a bit), to selecting a hospital for prenatal care and delivery.
An unexpected pregnancy can make your life feel out of control. When surveying abortion alternatives, it can be nice to know that adoption puts you back in control of your pregnancy and your future.
Connection with Your Child
Most adoptions are at least semi-open
. What does this mean? When considering your options instead of abortion, adoption is a path that allows you to move on without becoming a parent while also
maintaining a lasting connection with your child as they grow and thrive in the loving care of the adoptive family. Just like other aspects of the adoption process, you decide on the level of openness
you would like.
Weighing the Pros and Cons of Adoption
Other options instead of abortion won’t be perfect. Just like abortion
itself, any unplanned pregnancy choice will have its challenges. If you’re trying to figure out whether or not adoption is an alternative to abortion that could work for you, here are a few pros and cons to consider:
- Your child will have the opportunity to have a wonderful life.
- You will help a couple fulfill their dream of becoming parents.
- There will most likely be financial assistance and emotional support during pregnancy.
- You can have a lasting connection with your child through open adoption.
- You will carry your pregnancy to term.
- Adoption can have complex and challenging emotions.
- Open adoption relationships are not always simple, even if they are rewarding.
- Others in your life may have negative opinions about adoption.
Every situation is unique, so there may be some specific pros/cons in your life that aren’t listed here. Take the time to consider adoption carefully. If you’d like to learn more by speaking to an adoption specialist, contact us today.
If you’re thinking that adoption is not an alternative to abortion that could work for you, continue reading for more options.
What options are there besides abortion and adoption?
If you’re searching for abortion alternatives, you most likely see parenting as a long shot. And it very well could be. Parenting is seriously challenging
. The emotional journey, the disruption to life and the financial responsibility come together to create a weight that may be too much to carry at this point in your life.
As far as alternatives to abortion go, however, parenting is one of the few options. If adoption is not the solution to abortion, parenting could be. When considering this as one of the other options besides abortion, there are a few key areas of concern:
The Father of the Baby
Parenting can be done alone or with a partner. What is your relationship with the father of the baby
? Will he be an involved, consistent presence in your life and the life of the child? Or, will he be absent and unsupportive? If he’s absent or unsupportive, how do you feel about parenting on your own?
These are difficult questions, but they all need honest answers before choosing parenting as an alternative to abortion.
Let’s just say it: Parenting costs a lot of money
. There’s the fees of your own medical care leading up to, and involving, labor and delivery. Then, a newborn needs plenty of medical care of his or her own. And after that, there’s the journey of parenting.
If finances are a serious impediment to parenting as an alternative to abortion, you could consider looking into local social services and other resources.
Where are you at in life? Some women looking for alternative pregnancy options are young, with an education left to finish. Others have career aspirations, and others still are mothers who cannot add another child to the family.
Becoming a parent totally redefines your future
. Your life is reoriented in ways that are both exciting and challenging. If you’re ready for that, then parenting could be one of the best other options besides abortion. But if you aren’t ready to totally change your hopes and dreams, then it might not be right.
Weighing the Pros and Cons of Parenting
What is appealing and discouraging about parenting as an alternative to abortion will depend on your specific circumstance. Here are a few pros and cons to consider:
- This experience can define your life, in the best way.
- An ongoing connection with your child can become a very special relationship.
- You may gain a new perspective on life.
- Experiences you hadn’t thought of before could become treasured memories.
- The cost of parenting is prohibitive.
- Carrying a pregnancy to term can be challenging and expensive.
- Parenting may be more difficult that you’ve imagined.
- Navigating the new relationship in your life will take a lot of work.
You may find plenty of reasons why adoption is not a good alternative to abortion, but also feel that parenting isn’t possible. This leaves us with one more option to consider.
If you are searching for alternatives to abortion besides adoption and know that parenting isn’t an option, then you could consider legal guardianship
. This path is somewhere in between the first two options besides abortion that we’ve discussed so far.
If adoption is not a solution to abortion and parenting is impossible right now
, then legal guardianship is a way to buy yourself some time. By signing legal guardianship of your child to a close friend of family member, you can retain some of your parental rights. While your child is under the care of the guardian, you can work to put yourself in a position to be a parent. Then, you can seek to have your child returned to your care as their primary guardian.
How it Works
How can you set up a legal guardianship if adoption can’t replace abortion and parenting isn’t possible? You’ll need to find a lawyer
and identify a potential guardian.
The laws regulating legal guardianship
are different in every state, so your attorney can explain what’s possible for your situation. Generally, once someone has agreed to be the legal guardian of your child, the attorney will write a contract. This could involve things like visitation rights and expectations to be met before the child returns to your care as the biological parent.
Weighing the Pros and Cons of Legal Guardianship
Legal guardianship can be one of the alternatives to abortion, but it can also be very complicated
. Your child will most likely form emotional attachment to the guardian as the receive care early in their life. This can make transitions away from the guardian very challenging, which can impact your relationship to the child and the guardian.
Take this into account when considering some of the pros and cons for this abortion alternative:
- You will have the opportunity to become a parent later on.
- There will still have a relationship with the child.
- Your education, career and other goals can carry on with less disruption.
- The emotional attachments formed during the guardianship period can be challenging.
- Legal guardianship is only temporary. You will need to become the guardian again, eventually.
- The guardian could parent in ways you would not, but you will not have the legal power to change that.
- The transition from the guardian into your care can be very challenging for the child.
Making Your Decision
Which of these abortion alternatives is the best option? It’s up to you. You might realize that adoption is a viable alternative to abortion, while someone else could see all the reasons why adoption isn’t an alternative to abortion. It depends on what you specifically need and what will be best for your future.
Weigh the pros and cons carefully. Take your time. And, if it’s becoming too confusing, consider contacting a professional.
Speaking to a professional can bring clarity to your decision. Contact us today
to be connected with a helpful adoption specialist. This call is always free of charge, and you’ll never be pressured into choosing one of these alternatives to abortion. Our goal is always to help you make the best decision for your life.