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Unplanned Second, Third or Fourth Pregnancy: How to Deal

Unplanned pregnancy can happen more than once, and it doesn’t have any respect for birth order. If you’re experiencing an unplanned pregnancy with a second child, or an unexpected third pregnancy, or even an unexpected fourth pregnancy, then you know this all too well. You’re also, probably, a bit frustrated with what you are finding online. All of the articles and guides seem to be for people who are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy for the first time. It’s a lot more difficult to find out how to deal with an unplanned second pregnancy, or third, or fourth. We’re here to help. There are all kinds of things you might be thinking about that others who are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy for the first time don’t have on their minds. Additionally, it’s important to know what options are available to you when it comes to responding to your pregnancy. From coping with the emotions, to speaking with family, to choosing an unplanned pregnancy option, our hope is that this guide gives you the information you need to deal with your second, third, or unplanned pregnancy with the fourth child. If you have more specific questions at any point while reading, you can always contact us online.

First-Time Unexpected Pregnancy

If you are experiencing a first-time unexpected pregnancy, there are all kinds of unique experiences you are about to face. Not only are there the emotions of unexpected pregnancy, but also the physical side effects of pregnancy that you’ve never experienced before. The considerations of a first-time unexpected pregnancy are distinct, and a bit different from an unplanned 3rd pregnancy, for example. In this guide, we are focusing specifically on unwanted second, third and fourth pregnancies.

Unwanted Second Pregnancy

If you are experiencing an unwanted second pregnancy, we don’t need to spend as much time on the medical and physical aspects of coping with unplanned second pregnancy. You’ve been through this before, so you have an idea of what to expect physically. But emotionally — that’s a whole different ballgame. Whether your first pregnancy resulted in parenting, adoption or abortion will weigh heavily on how you process this second unplanned pregnancy, and what you decide to do about it. First, you should know that you’re not alone. Millions of women in the U.S. experience unplanned pregnancies each year, many of them not for the first time. Some women report feeling shame associated with unplanned pregnancy. While understandable (and you should never feel bad for having feelings), we hope we can encourage you to move past shame. There’s nothing wrong with what you are experiencing. How to deal with an unplanned second pregnancy can be a real challenge. The same options are still available to you — parenting, adoption or abortion — but there may be new things to consider. Do you already have a child that you are raising? If so, how this choice affects them is probably weighing heavily on your mind. Your relationship with the father of the baby is another factor. Additionally, if you are not a parent, you could be thinking about whether or not it’s “okay” to choose the same unplanned pregnancy option for this pregnancy as you did your last, whether that’s adoption or abortion. Here’s the bottom line: You should do whatever is best for you in your current situation. Maybe parenting was possible after your first-time unexpected pregnancy, but things are different with the unplanned second baby. It may surprise you to hear that many women who chose adoption are already mothers. There are unplanned second pregnancy stories of adoption that show how beautiful this journey can be. Or, maybe this unexpected second pregnancy comes at an inopportune time, just like the first. If adoption or abortion was the answer then, it could also be the answer now. Explore all of your options and do what is best.

Coping with an Unplanned Third Pregnancy

Many of the things mentioned above are applicable to unplanned 3rd pregnancy, too. All of the same options are available to you, regardless of how the first two pregnancies were handled. If you’re stuck trying to figure out what is best for this unplanned 3rd baby, ask yourself:
  • Am I physically able to carry a third pregnancy to term?
  • Do I want to be a parent, or be a parent to another child?
  • What say does the father of the baby have in this?
  • Would parenting or adoption create the best possible future, for myself and for the child?
  • How could my choice impact the children I already have?
  • What do I, ultimately, believe will be best for me?
It’s totally normal to have unsure feelings about an unexpected third pregnancy. Hopefully these questions can help you find a path that works for you.

Unplanned Fourth Pregnancy

An unplanned fourth pregnancy can rock your world. You may feel like going through this process again is more than your body can take. The practical challenges — disruptions to home life, work and social life — can be frustrating. And, what about your important relationships? Could an unplanned fourth pregnancy affect how you communicate with your partner, or your children? These are all important questions. Finding the right answers can take time. It won’t necessarily be easy. Maybe this unplanned pregnancy with a fourth child could be the surprise addition to your family that you didn’t know you wanted. Or, maybe that idea sounds crazy to you, because another child in your home would be impossible. Women experiencing an unplanned fourth pregnancy can choose whichever option is best based on their situation. Parenting, adoption and abortion could all be possible, just as with any other unexpected pregnancy.

Contact Us Today

At the end of the day, you should do what is best for your life, regardless of if this is your first, second, third, fourth or unplanned pregnancy with a 5th child. Because this decision can be so challenging to make, it can be helpful to talk with a professional. Contact us online at any time to be connected with an adoption specialist that can help explain your options.